In her new book, “The Myth of Closure: Ambiguous Loss in a Time of Pandemic and Change,” Pauline Boss considers what it means to reach “emotional closure” in a state of unnamable grief or ambiguous loss. Boss teases out how one can mourn something that cannot always be described. The pandemic has been rife with “ambiguous loss,” A sense of “frozen grief” pervades great swathes of the global community. Boss believes that by rethinking and lending language to the nature of loss, we might get closer to understanding it.

This episode I interview Dr. Anna Lembke, MD, Chief of the Stanford Addiction Medicine Dual Diagnosis Clinic at Stanford University School of Medicine. Dr. Lembke is a psychiatrist expert in treating addictions of all kinds: drugs, alcohol, food, sex, video games, gambling, food, medication, etc. Dr. Lembke is also an expert in the opioid crisis, and the author of Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. We discuss the biology and psychology of why people become addicted to certain substances and behaviors and the key role that our "dopamine balance" plays in creating addiction. We also discuss the science and practice of how to conquer addictions, why people relapse and how to avoid relapsing. Dr. Lembke also shares her expertise on topics closely related to addiction such as community, shame and lying and she explains why telling the truth—even about the most basic things in daily life, adjusts dopamine levels in our brain. This episode is an important one for anyone struggling with addictions of any kind, for their friends and families and for health care professionals. It is also for anyone who has defeated addiction and is determined to stay clean. Last but not least, it helps explain why all humans do what we do, and how we can all maintain a healthy sense of pleasure seeking in life.

"He eats bread and drinks beer but it does not go well for him, then says, ‘Oh, my heart!’ and is dejected."