Dave's Library

Many anxious achievers push themselves to the point of overwork in an effort to achieve impossible standards. We often act this way out of habit. Somewhere along the way — through messages we received in our childhoods, our adolescence, or even in our educations and early careers — we internalized the message that if we make mistakes, we are not worthy. Now, our internal voices threaten, shame, and harshly critique us in life and at work. Anxiety has become the driver that powers us through. The problem is that anxiety is not a sustainable motivator and perfectionism often causes procrastination. So, how do we overcome the anxious critic in our head? First, notice when it strikes. The next time you hear a critique in your head, consider: Who is speaking? Does the voice sound like you, or does it sound like someone from your past? Sometimes our inner critics are driven by formative experiences or by people we encountered years before. Next, address the your inner critic with compassion. Be deliberately kind to yourself instead of fighting your anxiety or relying on it to motivate you. In practice, this looks like addressing your inner critic with understanding and generosity. Engage in a moment of kindness. Sit and place your hands on your chest. Feel your breath, in and out. Now, think of something you did well recently. Hold your chest, think through that moment, and tell yourself, “I did a good job.” Try to really feel it.