pic.twitter.com/TqVh0n0LOs— 𝖑𝖆𝖚𝖗𝖎𝖘𝖘𝖆 (@nuuuuuugz) October 6, 2017

to use apple pay at paypal— unhinged (@babyfaxmachine) October 6, 2017

R u coming to my city— unhinged (@babyfaxmachine) October 6, 2017

Rich Man Will Fly Woman Places If She’s Willing to Act Pleasantly Surprised Every Time She Sees His Penis: https://t.co/R7dmaJTEPW pic.twitter.com/Guyhdz7dSf— Reductress (@Reductress) October 6, 2017

Earlier this week, 50-year-old Edgar Posker flew 27-year-old girlfriend Edwina Sherlot to Prague under the condition that every time she saw his penis she’d act surprised, then happy. “I prefer to spend my money on experiences, not items. I care about people and Edwina is fantastic,” says Po

Portland’s new police chief was on ‘Wheel of Fortune' in 1996. The entire episode is online. https://t.co/hNhmRC1u5D (by @edercampuzano)— Everton Bailey Jr. (@EvertonBailey) October 5, 2017

“Rich Man Will Fly Woman Places If She’s Willing to Act Pleasantly Surprised Every Time She Sees His Penis: https://t.co/R7dmaJTEPW”

The latest Tweets from Señor Eder Campuzano 🇲🇽🇺🇸 ❄️🎄☃️🎒 ✏️ (@edercampuzano). Friendly neighborhood education reporter @Oregonian. Views expressed here are my own. He/Him. 503.221.4344. 📧: ecampuzano@oregonian.com. Portland, OR

I'm gonna have to buy two bottles of rose and get SLOSSSSHDD4DAYS w nana instead :/— adhd excuse 101 (@abbylovescoffee) October 6, 2017

every single day is the longest weirdest day— Molly Lambert 🦔 (@mollylambert) October 6, 2017

Danielle Outlaw went home with $40,000.

I miss being SLOSHED https://t.co/jQ8dxUGfAz— adhd excuse 101 (@abbylovescoffee) October 6, 2017

SLOSHED.— David Blue ※ (𝙶 𝚄 𝚁 𝚄 𝙼𝙾𝙳𝙴) (@NeoYokel) October 6, 2017

pic.twitter.com/5jQCIymj7S— Ashley B Williams (@Grumpyfck) October 5, 2017

pic.twitter.com/5jQCIymj7S— Ashley B Williams (@Grumpyfck) October 5, 2017

i see an astolfo pic on the TL and start vibrating so rapidly i produce a high pitched ringing— samantha 🦷 (@goblin_sorcerer) October 6, 2017

the worst part about writing a book is i feel like i'm spoiling it for myself as i plan the plot out— Ammnontet! (@ammnontet) October 6, 2017

actually what's worse is i have a skeleton of a plot and no idea how i'm gonna fill it up— Ammnontet! (@ammnontet) October 6, 2017

To declare something ORE ROTUNDO—literally, ‘with a round mouth’—is to speak in a full voice.— Haggard Hawks 🦅 (@HaggardHawks) October 6, 2017

2 bros chillin on the toilet 5 ft apart cause they’re not gay https://t.co/Q4f4QRAYJc— festive mandy (@hotchilitofu) October 4, 2017