"YOU HAVE TO STOP USING THE PHONES!!!!!! THERE ARE LITTLE GUYS INSIDE THEM!!! AND WE'RE HURTING THEM!!!!!!! THERE'S LITTLE GUYS IN THE PHONES!!!!!!!" -Apple Technological Enterprises & Corporation Inc., DDS, Esquire Engineer, interrupting the conference, moments before being shot

I guess I'll hold onto my blue 13 Pro until the day it dies

good thing none of the Pro colors appeal to me because Fuck the Dynamic Island integration looks SICK #AppleEvent

One of these beards is getting shaved off today. https://t.co/ixTJUYGPbS https://t.co/g6ybMhflD3

rich people be like i have lots of money

Nice #Severance cameo in #AppleEvent https://t.co/EtAjTzHqZQ

Just to explain, this is every AOL CD ever created https://t.co/mHCEWmelh9

So who's doing a full video review of the Apple Watch Ultra underwater? https://t.co/HE0ID9USEo

Bigger, 1 more button https://t.co/atKzvgu2D3 https://t.co/8iUSDjVnZp

should I buy an Apple Watch Ultra for when I walk the dogs #AppleEvent

Told ya 😏 https://t.co/qKjqyqbr7g

https://t.co/iA6x8iXIOm

Galaxy Brain Theory: Apple wasn't working on an Apple Car; they were building cars and crashing them to test Crash Detection. #AppleEvent

It's also getting Car Crash Detection that will automatically contact emergency services. Series 8 has a new accelerometer that is more accurate and analyzes faster. https://t.co/5rymaULSsr

(bashes arm on piano) -> C-G-C-E

@NeoYokel it didn’t work. i wanna know how many i have open right now. i may just never know. https://t.co/JQnPu7wmi7

@NeoYokel how to i find the number again ???

https://t.co/HXMSNLb3Id

https://t.co/L2f2UY7ck1

idgaf who behind ghetto smosh this shit is hilarious https://t.co/H4wIPqEyEA

Alive...

@NeoYokel soooo… butt ?

explore_ibm_network https://t.co/OVzs3F8JpM

For the record, my book https://t.co/b6vOM7J2A7 did sell 12+ copies https://t.co/iWqXmEjlVw

Our society needs more powerful methods for the mass production and dissemination of dignity, so that downtrodden people don't feel like they have to grasp at whatever pitiful scraps of power they can get.

@NeoYokel The engine of Safari could be perfect but its user interface just functions backwards to how I work

It used to be that I would rarely get webpages that crash. Now it seems to happen once per day

This could be nothing but I feel like Safari has gotten less and less stable over the years

ah ha ha ha yesss the mfing beams tactical crocs https://t.co/mlUsBMqxcy

happiness exists and it's furret shaped https://t.co/nDz3nMrBnG