I read two pages of Huck Finn. Wonderful book. Tried to finish a list for work before falling asleep, while in bed and under the covers, but obviously I knocked right out after writing two wordswordsa. Never kid yourself.

people always send me videos of frogs i don't care about frogs i used to shoot them for target practice i just feel nothing and now im worried friends send me frog media bc they think i look like a frog

Apparently some of you are unfamiliar with my reprehensible public behavior https://t.co/uDRwpIQDfd

Saw a yuppie couple in a juice bar and screamed "An increase from a base of zero isn't a 100% increase, it's an INFINITY PERCENT INCREASE!!" right in their faces as I knocked their $20 smoothies out of their hands, then I tried to run away and fell face-first into a puddle

end of the year message to my folloers: read shimeji simulation. goodbye

Some1 is digging a hole in their yard within 2000ft of where this picture was taken as we speak https://t.co/BfnaIx8WS2

The wildest thing about the India-China conflict is that by mutual agreement, both sides fight exclusively with melee weapons. https://t.co/GGOnV1tUIE

I remember when I referred to John Cochrane as a "conservative" in the pages of Bloomberg. He flipped his lid.

the answer to my childhood savings account's security question was "kingdom hearts" even though the question had nothing to do with that

why is this even a thing lmfao https://t.co/34hVN7kHZv

please RT this to ensure that all users get notified about this new version.

My interview with Ezra Klein is out! https://t.co/sjauJMdUfB

Yep it is sir https://t.co/rvscIdWUGe

Let me know if you experience further issues. If you still get value from that eXtension I needed some cups of coffee to get this working again 😝 https://t.co/5ZTknA9Y02

I'm using twitter less and less these days, but you can find me on instagram https://t.co/s3EyBVZ2Xn

Epic fail on Russian TV: channel interviewed a man who returned from Ukrainian capture, to talk about "horrors of Ukrainian captivity". The man goes on to tell they were treated well, fed 3 times a day, rights read out in full, the Geneva Convention properly followed. https://t.co/EgMOxMxhY4

why the fuck would you name it gonker https://t.co/q9vlMWkN6Q

My submission for Tiny Truck Tuesday @friendshapedcar https://t.co/r1RsILfHpZ

the PS5 is the largest console in the world

What’s New in Shortcuts – Issue #53 https://t.co/W5qem0Gc3J

Music software that automatically categorizes, labels, and even sorts snippets from live audio jams

AirTag top 10 worst Apple product ever

I'm a self-righteous pain in the ass, but I'm not above embezzling office supplies.

Two things to remember when an AI pusher calls you a Luddite 1-The Luddites were a movement by skilled textile workers that smashed machines as a protest tactic to get better labor conditions from exploitive factories 2-The Luddites failed because the bosses had them killed

literally if i could put my distaste for men aside for even a second i could make so much money but unfortunately i’m fine with being broke.

ՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ  ՐՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ  ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ⇃ՐՐՐ　  Ր　ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ ՐՐ　ՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ　ՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐ　Ր  ՐՐՐՐ ՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐՐ

Autoplaying videos (with audio) as a pattern on any platform was a mistake Never once have I been like “yes, just what I wanted”

Consensus is Wrangler Jeana. Anyone else care to share their 2 cents?

https://t.co/YUe9KQT5rS

locating my ribcage and squeezing until I hear a crack