What the Hell Is Going On With This 1970 iPhone Bug?

Software History
Apple users claim iOS 12 is sending iMessages to the wrong contacts
iPhones ‘bricked’ as Apple releases iOS 10 (and then rapidly fixes the problem)
If you can't send an email with iOS 11 and an Outlook.com or Exchange mail account - Apple Support
Use Reminders on your iPhone, iPad or iPod touch
Apple confirms iOS 5 bugs causing battery drain, promises a fix 'in a few weeks'
iPhone DST bug causing alarms to fail across Europe (updated)
Apple to fix iPhone DST alarm bug
PSA: iPhone alarm clock not working again? Time to update
Thanks to iOS 5, some users lose WiFi connectivity
PSA: iPhone alarms not working come New Year's Day 2011
Poll: Have you noticed battery improvements after updating to iOS 5.0.1?
Apple Concedes Its Errors in Maps Application; Asserts 'Working Hard' To Improve Experience; Expert Rules Out Google Maps App For iOS 6
iOS 4.3.1 Patch Imperative - Battery Drain, Alarm Clock Bug, Safari Hole - Softpedia
Apple admits iPhone 5 Maps app needs fixing
Use Do Not Disturb on your iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch
Ask Ars: Why will Apple's Do Not Disturb bug fix itself next week?
Apple - A letter from Tim Cook on Maps
Apple Rolls Out iOS 6.1.1 to Fix iPhone 4S Bugs
Microsoft suggests throttling or blocking iOS 6.1 devices after bug slows down Exchange servers
iOS passcode bug slated to be fixed in iOS 6.1.3—for real this time
Rapid growth in transaction logs, CPU use, and memory consumption in Exchange Server 2010 when a user syncs a mailbox by using an iOS 6.1-based device
Wi-Fi Connectivity Problems with iOS 5 Update
Apple promises to fix 'home screen crash' iPhone bug
Apple says it's working on fix for iOS 7 lockscreen bypass flaw
Audio echo bug plagues iPhone 4S owners during voice calls
Fix Touch ID iOS 8.3 Bugs - iOS Tips and Tricks
Bug forces Apple to delay launch of HealthKit fitness apps
Touch ID Fails In App Store With Apples Recent iOS 8.3 Release
Apple updating its Maps with user corrections every day at 3 am Easter