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do u remember learning how to read

I dreamt my widow's peak was receding at an alarming rate what a nightmare

some guy made a yelp review for our store saying he “doesnt normally like ultra left hipster coffee shops but his hot chocolate was really good” and my coworkers cant stop quoting it

BIRTHDAY STREAM! Come hang out WE LIVE!

this is like the exact feeling of being stuck in a stupid part of a videogame

Get yourself some cigarettes and a glass of bourbon. It's Artist Spotlight on The Jazz Program tonight, and we're continuing our seasonal sads with the master of melancholy himself, Bill Evans. Two hours of masterful piano misery starts at 9 MST/11 EST/8 PST. Only on @datafruits. https://t.co/gq2UOkBJkP

there is a bit in alice in wonderland where she needs a really tiny key to get though a really tiny door but she keeps doing stuff to go tiny but she leaves the key on the table so she has to go big again get the key go small again but she left the key on the table again so she

i am reading ALICE IN WONDERLAND and nobody will tell you how funny this book is https://t.co/l7maVc85zf

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@soaroz The extra small shopping carts when you were a kid were crazy

I won't pay for a blue check myself, but I absolutely support making people pay for them, on the grounds that that would be funny

this starts in one minute and I still have no idea whether it’s gonna be in English or Korean https://t.co/gumXJfUKbh

some of you have never been to a piggly wiggly and i think that shows https://t.co/u5tripPuSd

Tumblr coming in for the deathblow by letting you post naked pics again https://t.co/XRQV7E5h9t

The Steam Deck is the best ecosystem play I've experienced in tech since the iPhone. Love this thing.

Coins taste weird… taste like wealth, I guess. Or blood.

The mythos is completely fucking destroyed, dude. These guys are compelled to beam their thoughts, their processes out into the world, and without the manicuring that traditional media was able to give them, we realize how vapid and pointless them and their money-changing act are

I come on here and see pizza delivery drivers and grocery store cashiers say the most profound shit, about political theory and art and sociology and all sorts of shit, and right next to it I see the richest men in the world publicly struggle with basic reading comprehension

The most amazing effect of social media is how it completely destroyed the illusion of wealth and success being a meritocracy to everyone except the most charitable. Like if you genuinely still think elon musk is smart after seeing him post, you are too generous for your own good

I hit 15,000 scrobbles

@Coelasquid @NeoYokel yeah this is both the best and worst thing about mastodon (and I say that as someone who's been there since 2017)

@NeoYokel @Coelasquid @Eramdam every regular twitter user has already heard about mastodon and either chosen to be on it or not by this point

@NeoYokel @Eramdam I got very confused and frustrated by the cross-server aspect of Mastodon and ended up drifting away from it

@friendshapedcar the tiniest :) of trucks :) https://t.co/NSz1eyTOIu

Whoever called me twice from a 469 number without leaving a message, you're going to die. You're going to die and then go to hell

personally i think it is really funny that a leveraged buyout is going to doom this site to oblivion instead of like anti-sex work legislation. will be interesting to see where and how writers can hawk their personas in an attempt to get ppl to read their work now https://t.co/2RZ4BVDodx

Wrote up a short time.

https://t.co/Xvk4dxIFmg

@NeoYokel EXACTLY ! move out the way when i’m walking fucking tree branches 😤

just took my kids to get some of the highest grade fentanyl america can offer god bless the usa