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Old people are so theoretically cute it's a shame the world made the current batch so evil and vice versa

Doing an IRL DJ set in a couple months with more guidelines than usual so I gotta spend a while coming up with more serious/club mashup ideas lol

i can’t stop laughing about the stand up where kyle kinane is like “my assistant manager is here and you’re looking REAL overserved right now get it together”

@computerchroni1 i recommend watching the Figure It Out episodes he's on. dude is hilarious unscripted.

https://t.co/IMeONopsEX

The pringussy is so tight (I cannot fit my hand inside the Pringle can)

If youre feeling lonely or unloved right now please remember we're just internet friends. Idek you. I couldnt possibly love you

https://t.co/71TJB6N0zA

what if you could peek at what you had copied https://t.co/kNSATP7s1r

Going from Dick Petty racing to Petty Johnson racing. It's like nothing changed!

Girlfriend just walked up to me and told me I should not pay to keep my verification badge, unprompted. The culture war has come to my home.

There's virtually nothing to dislike about the new Apple TV 4K (2022) ✅USB-C on Siri Remote ✅Faster A15 Bionic chip ✅Doubled storage ✅HDR10+ support ✅Cheaper than previous models The cons are really just nitpicks My review on @inversedotcom: https://t.co/2cOYqSgWyz

*so horny i should be subjected to 6 belts of 7.62x54r out of a 23.8 inch barrel* "haha.... no... let's be honest, you're so much more conventionally attractive than me..."

preparing for the end of twitter by speaking my little jokes aloud & getting nothing back

https://t.co/02Lwzfmafz

Also they interview the maker of @Carrot in this episode 😊

This is actually a great explanation of what software SDKs are and why developers use them. https://t.co/rC6IyygNDj https://t.co/9vpBwg4lAV

The MIDI Association - MIDI 2.0 https://t.co/7QVrisk618

https://t.co/nPXaAz86jj

No nut november a little sus 🤔 why are you as a men worried about what other men are doing with their penises 🧐

@NeoYokel he did it!!!

@NeoYokel I had no idea until I looked more into it and it's really upsetting it makes me want to take classes so I can start teaching people how to read

Did anyone do this yet https://t.co/yYdFO3Hx9m

“Wait, there’s a computer in here. Wait, there are two computers in here. Wait, there are three computers in here.” - the poor security staffer who has to search my bag every time I go to a concert after work

Scratch the bourbon and just pour some Everclear. You're going to need it. We're playing New Jazz Conceptions, Portrait In Jazz, Moon Beams, and the absolutely devastating Undercurrent starting in 30 minutes on @datafruits. Come get miserable with us: https://t.co/8qk0q1ANE5 https://t.co/AMGAIV4GsB https://t.co/5T0c3HLVwp

I always LOL at the idea that economists have "physics envy". Economists consider themselves the absolute pinnacle of academia, grudgingly admitting equality only with mathematicians, and only if the mathematicians do a bit of game theory.

https://t.co/qFbTevAugh

https://t.co/oxJI3WT3bG

Took all of the rotting drinks out of my car if you guys care at all :/

only thing that could make me happy today https://t.co/9KjyjXZcv4