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You don’t need to have faced infertility to feel Serena Joy Waterford’s desperation. But if you have, some scenes land differently. Not because they mirror reality, but because they expose something emotionally true: the quiet unraveling that can happen when your ability to conceive becomes uncertain, and your future unpredictable. This isn’t a critique of characters or politics. This is about the psychological toll that infertility can take and how a TV series fiction sometimes gives us the language to speak truths we haven’t yet named. Fertility and Identity Loss The Drive to Have a Child: More Than Desire, Often Identity Infertility doesn’t just challenge biology…it can destabilize identity. Many people grow up imagining who they’ll be as parents, picturing names, birthdays, baby clothes. When that path becomes unclear, the loss isn’t only physical, it’s personal. In The Handmaid’s Tale, we see this reflected in the structure of Gilead, a repressive, dystopian regime that claims to solve the fertility crisis by reducing fertile women to handmaids, treated as surrogates and denied autonomy over their bodies and uterus. The system views reproduction as duty and pregnancy as salvation. The commander’s wife, Serena Waterford, feels this pressure. In Gilead, infertile women of status must watch handmaids become pregnant with their husband’s child. The ceremony, a state-mandated act of rape masked as ritual is a symbol of the mental collapse that follows when control becomes more important than compassion. That’s what many people grappling with infertility feel, too. Not the desire for control in a societal sense, but a desire to reclaim agency over their lives, bodies, and futures. When month after month brings no progress, it can feel like the only option left is to do more, try harder, or create structure where there is only waiting. The Grief of Trying Without Guarantee   What makes infertility uniquely painful is its lack of closure. There’s no timeline. No guarantee. Just a recurring cycle of hope, anticipation, and loss. It’s a grief that resets each month. In that state of chronic uncertainty, people can feel invisible. Baby showers sting. Social media posts celebrate what you’re still working toward. Even well-meaning questions can feel like reminders that you’re behind in a race you didn’t ask to join. And for some, the need to find something—anything—to hold onto becomes survival. It’s not about control, it’s about exhaustion. The emotional toll of endlessly adjusting expectations, grieving silently, and navigating a world that still defines women by their ability to become pregnant or reproduce. What The Handmaid’s Tale Gets Emotionally Right Why This Matters Beyond Fiction In Canada, 1 in 6 couples are experiencing infertility. It’s a significant part of the community. And while science now offers options like IVF, the emotional weight hasn’t gone away. We are still seeing a decline in fertility. Male infertility is rising, too. The Handmaid’s story is fictional, but the emotions are real. It teaches us how unresolved grief and societal pressure can reshape identity. The fertility crisis in the show mirrors very real conversations happening today, about women’s rights, women’s bodies, medical access, and the social and political structures that shape care. To learn more about the psychological effects of infertility, visit the American Psychiatric Association’s resource or read this article from Harvard Health on infertility grief. This Isn’t About Villains or Victims…It’s About Humanity When we talk about infertility through the lens of fiction, the goal isn’t to compare lives to stories. It’s to extract the emotions…the grief, the longing, the identity loss, and give them space. There’s no shame in wanting a child deeply. There’s no failure in not having one yet. And there’s no virtue in pretending it doesn’t affect you. What We Can Learn About Coping and Compassion As a reproductive trauma therapist, I’ve seen how invisible this pain can be. People often don’t know how to talk about it. Friends don’t know how to ask. Partners can feel helpless. And so, many suffer alone. But there are tools. There’s language. There are paths forward that don’t require you to suppress, hide, or harden. You don’t have to become someone else to survive this. Delia Petrescu is a reproductive trauma therapist who helps individuals process the emotional complexities of infertility and identity loss. She offers therapy that is rooted in trauma-informed, emotion-focused, and narrative approaches. Interested in her approach and style? Book a free consultation. Frequently Asked Questions Is infertility still something people don’t talk about? Yes, unfortunately. Even with more awareness today, infertility can feel like something you’re supposed to hide. People often don’t know what to say, and the person going through it may feel like they’re broken or somehow failing. That silence can make an already painful experience feel even more isolating. How is grief connected to infertility? It’s not just sadness about not being pregnant. It’s grieving the life you imagined, the child you hoped for, and sometimes even your sense of self. What makes it harder is that the loss isn’t always clear-cut. The hope comes and goes, especially with ongoing treatments, and that can make the grief feel endless and complicated. Why does The Handmaid’s Tale feel so real to people going through infertility? Because it taps into emotions that aren’t just fictional. When you’ve been poked and prodded in clinics, when your body feels like it’s not your own, and when people make assumptions about your worth based on whether or not you can have children, the show stops feeling like a warning and starts feeling like a mirror. Can the show or book be triggering if I’m going through infertility? Yes, it can be. Some scenes hit hard, especially if you’ve experienced medical trauma, pregnancy loss, or felt pressured about your fertility. How can therapy support someone dealing with infertility? Therapy can give you space to breathe. It’s a place where you don’t have to pretend to be okay or explain why you’re grieving something others might not see. A therapist can help you process the emotional rollercoaster of treatments, explore your options, and feel a little more in control again. What is reproductive trauma, really? It’s the emotional wounds that can come from things like infertility, pregnancy loss, complicated medical procedures, or even feeling like your body is being treated more like a problem than a person. It’s different for everyone, but the common thread is that it shakes your sense of safety and identity in a deep way. Get Reconnected Therapy – FAQ Do you offer therapy for infertility-related grief and loss? Yes. We work with individuals and couples navigating the emotional toll of infertility, including grief after pregnancy loss, failed IVF cycles, or difficult decisions around donor conception. You don’t have to go through it alone or explain why this kind of loss is real. We recognize that fertility struggles often bring layered grief that deserves a space of its own. What is Accelerated Resolution Therapy and how can it help with reproductive trauma? Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) is a gentle but effective approach that helps the brain process painful experiences without needing to relive every detail. If you’ve experienced medical trauma, pregnancy loss, or emotionally distressing fertility treatments, ART can help you move forward with less heaviness in your body and mind. How does Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) support people coping with fertility challenges? Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) gives you tools to ride the emotional waves. If you’re swinging between hope and despair, or struggling with anger, sadness, or shame, DBT offers real-life strategies to regulate those intense emotions. It helps create space between the trigger and the response so you can stay grounded through unpredictable moments. What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and why is it useful for people facing uncertainty about their fertility? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) helps you stop fighting with uncertainty and instead focus on living in line with your values. When the future feels out of your hands—whether it’s not knowing if treatment will work or not having answers right away—ACT helps you stay connected to what matters, even in the middle of the unknown. I don’t know what kind of therapy I need. Can someone help me figure that out? Absolutely. We offer free 15-minute consultations so you can speak with our fertility therapist, Delia Petrescu and get a sense of what kind of support might work best for you. Is everything virtual or do you offer in-person sessions too? We offer both. Many of our clients prefer virtual sessions from the comfort of their own homes, but we also provide in-person therapy at our Yonge & Eglinton office in Toronto. In-person sessions are available for fertility therapy, trauma-focused therapy, and A.R.T.

Most of us know what it feels like to have thoughts and emotions running a mile a minute. Maybe you’re lying awake at night replaying a conversation, or your stomach is in knots thinking about what’s next. In moments like these, mindfulness and meditation can feel like a breath of fresh air as mindfulness allows us to reconnect with the present and our body and mind. But what exactly is Mindfulness? At its core, mindfulness means choosing to pay attention, on purpose, in this moment, and without judgment. It’s not about emptying your mind or stopping your thoughts (spoiler: that’s impossible!). It’s about how you relate to your experiences, with curiosity instead of criticism. Our modern understanding of mindfulness comes from Buddhist teachings, specifically the idea of “bare attention”, a simple, non-judgmental awareness of each moment as it comes. Thich Nhat Hanh, the beloved Buddhist monk, describes it as “keeping one’s consciousness alive to the present moment.” And Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), defines it as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.” Each of these definitions captures something essential: mindfulness is a way to tune in, to your thoughts, your body, and your life, without getting swept away by the chaos of everyday noise. This simple mindfulness approach involves: Mindful awareness: noticing physical sensations as they arise Focus your attention on breath, body, or environment Close your eyes (if helpful) to deepen time for meditation practice And here’s something that might surprise you: mindfulness isn’t about what you’re doing, it’s about how you’re doing it. You can practice mindfulness exercises while walking, brushing your teeth, or savouring your morning coffee or tea – whenever you bring attention to the present moment. And if you’re doing it with awareness and kindness, that’s mindfulness. You could also be doing those same things while criticizing yourself or getting lost in thought… and that’s something else entirely. If you’re curious about the broader benefits of mindfulness (and why it’s such a buzzword these days), we’ve explored that in more detail in our earlier blog post. The Science of Mindfulness When you’re feeling anxious, your body is actually trying to help you. It just doesn’t always do the best job of telling the difference between real danger and everyday stress. So, your brain hits the internal panic button. Your heart starts racing, your breath gets shallow, your muscles tense up. That’s your sympathetic nervous system triggering stress and anxiety, jumping into fight or flight mode. It’s a survival instinct designed to keep you safe, but not super helpful when what you’re facing is a full inbox or replaying something awkward you said last week. This is where mindfulness training comes in. Think of it as a pause button for your nervous system. Instead of staying stuck in overdrive, mindfulness helps send a gentle signal to your brain that you are safe right now. And this isn’t just a nice idea. Research backs it up. According to the American Psychological Association, mindfulness-based interventions have shown significant effectiveness in reducing symptoms of anxiety. Regular mindfulness practice has been shown to calm the amygdala, the part of your brain that handles fear, and strengthen the prefrontal cortex, the area that helps you think clearly, manage emotions, and make grounded decisions. In other words, mindfulness helps shift you out of panic mode and into a more settled, steady state. And over time, mindfulness exercises help rewire your brain to respond differently to stress. You start to notice a bit more space between what’s happening and how you react. Sometimes, that space is exactly what we need when anxiety starts to creep in.   Effect How Mindfulness Works Interrupting Negative Thought Loops  Notice when negative thoughts arise and step off the cycle Reconnecting with Body Observe anxiety manifest in your chest or stomach and by noticing it can soften the tension  Creating Space Between Stimulus and Response Using grounding exercises to pause before reacting. Mindfulness is Not a One Size Fits All Mindfulness is not one-size-fits-all. In fact, it can show up in many ways, and that is exactly what makes it so accessible. It might look like truly savouring your morning tea instead of rushing through it while scrolling your phone. It could be taking a steady breath before responding to that stressful email. Or simply noticing the feeling of your feet on the floor while waiting in line. The point is, mindfulness is less about what you are doing and more about how you are doing it. If you are present, aware, and kind to yourself in the moment, you are practicing mindfulness. On the other hand, you could be meditating and still not be mindful if your inner critic is running the show. Start with what feels natural for you and allow your practice to grow from there. Can Mindfulness Really Help Reduce Anxiety? The short answer is yes, but it is not a quick fix! Therapy for anxiety, especially meditation and mindfulness, can ease anxiety and reduce anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness won’t magically erase anxiety or stop uncomfortable thoughts from showing up. What it does offer is a way to respond to those thoughts with steadiness and self-compassion. It teaches your brain a different pattern, one that is rooted in presence instead of panic. Think of it like building muscles. Every time you notice your mind racing and gently bring your attention back to the moment, you are strengthening your ability to stay grounded, even when things feel overwhelming. And that makes a real difference. Anxiety tends to pull us into the future, into the “what ifs” , the unknowns, and the worst-case scenarios. Mindfulness invites us back into the here and now. Often, this moment is manageable. It is something you can work with. So no, it is not about getting rid of anxiety entirely. It is about learning to meet it in a new way – with awareness, calm, and a little more breathing room. Research supports this approach. A meta-analysis found that various forms of meditation, including mindfulness practices, lead to decreased physiological markers of stress, such as cortisol levels and heart rate. The American Psychological Association also notes that mindfulness-based therapy can be especially effective for reducing stress, anxiety, and depression. How Mindfulness Calms Anxious Feelings Let’s break it down. Here are a few powerful ways mindfulness works its magic when anxiety starts to take over: It interrupts the anxious thought loop You know that feeling when your thoughts start racing, and you can’t seem to stop them? It’s like a hamster wheel in your head, just spinning and spinning with no end in sight. Mindfulness helps you notice when you’re stuck in that loop, and once you recognize it, you can step off. It’s not about shutting the thoughts down but about creating a bit of distance. By just being aware of what’s happening, you can start to disengage from the constant mental chatter. It reconnects you with your body Anxiety doesn’t just live in your mind. It often manifests in physical ways, too. Maybe you feel a tightness in your chest, your heart starts pounding, or your stomach feels like it’s in knots. These are all signs that your body is responding to stress. Mindfulness helps you slow down and tune into these sensations without judgment. Instead of getting overwhelmed, you can notice the tension and allow yourself to soften it, helping you feel more grounded and less consumed by anxiety. It creates space between stimulus and response When anxiety hits, the impulse is often to react immediately. Maybe you snap at someone, withdraw into yourself, or just spiral into worry. Mindfulness offers a pause. That moment between the trigger and your response can be a game-changer. Instead of automatically reacting, you get a chance to breathe, take a step back, and choose how you want to respond. It’s like pressing a “pause” button on the automatic reactions, giving you space to respond with more clarity and intention. Over time, these small, mindful shifts add up. It’s not about instantly eliminating anxiety or making everything “perfect.” It’s about slowly rewiring your brain to handle stress with more resilience, awareness, and calm. The more you practice, the more you build the capacity to face anxiety with a little more ease and confidence, no matter what life throws your way. How to Calm Anxiety in 3 Steps Feeling anxious? Let’s take a quick mindfulness moment together. Try these three steps to help calm your mind: 1. Come Back to the Present Take a pause. Look around. What do you see? What do you hear? What can you feel right now? Naming just a few things in your environment helps pull you back into the present moment, away from the anxious thoughts. 2. Focus on Your Breath No need to change anything, just notice your breath. Feel the air gently moving in and out of your body. Let each inhale and exhale be like an anchor, grounding you right here, right now. 3. Check In With Your Body Where are you holding tension? Maybe it’s in your shoulders, your jaw, or even your stomach. See if you can soften just a little. If it helps, let out a gentle sigh. Sometimes, a deep exhale is all it takes to release some of that tightness. These small mindfulness exercises won’t erase the anxiety, but they let you ride the wave instead of getting pulled under. Breathing Exercises for Anxiety When stress hits, your breath can be your best tool. It’s amazing how something as simple as breathing can have such a powerful effect on calming your mind and body. This quick and simple exercise is something you can do anytime, anywhere, no matter where you are or how chaotic things may feel: 1. Inhale gently through ...

There’s a certain kind of ache that creeps in around Mother’s Day when you’re struggling with infertility. It starts quietly, maybe with a store display of baby clothes, or a friend’s social media post announcing their second pregnancy. And then suddenly, the ache is everywhere. Cards, commercials, brunch plans, and well-meaning “when is it your turn?” questions. It all becomes a cruel reminder of what you want so deeply and don’t yet have. If this is where you are right now, remember that it’s normal what you’re feeling. This day can be one of the hardest days of the year. Why Mother’s Day Can Be Exceptionally Difficult For Women Trying To Conceive Mother’s day can be exceptionally difficult for many, but especially for women trying to conceive or women who lost a pregnancy, a baby or a child. When you’re in the field of infertility, it’s not just a holiday, it’s a spotlight on everything that hurts. There’s a silent grief that comes with experiencing fertility issues. You’re often grieving the loss of something you never got to hold. There’s no funeral, no closure… just waiting, hoping, and wondering about your fertility journey. And when Mother’s Day celebrations happen all around you, it can feel like being left out of a club you desperately want to join. Even simple things like a commercial, a diaper ad, a brunch invite, can feel like a cruel reminder. These aren’t just emotions. They’re the real mental and emotional health effects of experiencing fertility distress. According to the American Psychiatric Association, infertility can significantly affect psychological well-being, increasing the risk of anxiety, depression, and identity loss … especially around emotionally loaded moments like Mother’s Day. If your heart feels heavy, this blog on the 9 Stages of Infertility Grief may help you name your emotions and feel a little less alone. You’re Not Overreacting – Your Brain is Responding to Emotional Triggers Here’s the thing: when you’re trying to conceive (TTC), your brain changes the way it processes the world. If it feels like everyone around you is pregnant, it’s not your imagination. Your brain is wired to handle emotionally loaded information. The Reticular Activating System (RAS), a part of the brain that filters emotionally relevant stimuli, plays a big role in why pregnancy cues feel so unavoidable. It basically works like a spotlight… it highlights things tied to what you care most about, like motherhood, fertility, and babies. And when you’re already dealing with the chronic stress of infertility, your amygdala, the brain’s emotional alarm, becomes more sensitive. It may treat these cues as threats…not because they are, but because they stir up loss and longing. When you’re struggling to conceive, the brain tags every stroller, every belly, and every social media post as emotionally important. Add the stress of fertility treatments, and your emotional system becomes extra sensitive. The impact? It can make even a normal Walmart trip feel overwhelming. Infertility and grief make everyday moments feel emotionally exhausting. You’re reacting like any hurting human would. Coping Tools to Help You Survive Mother’s Day During Infertility There’s no right or wrong way to handle this day. But here are some gentle ways to survive it. You don’t need to force joy or gratitude just because the calendar says so. Create Your Own Meaningful Reminder Mother’s Day doesn’t have to look one way. You can honour your path in quiet, personal ways. Light a candle. Write a letter. Take a healing walk. Plan a spa day. Your grief and your hope both deserve space. It’s OK to Turn Down Invitations You don’t have to go to brunch if it breaks your heart. You don’t need to force smiles. It’s ok to turn down invitations. You’re protecting your mental health, not being rude. Take a Break From Social Media It’s okay to take a break from social media during these days. Curate your feed. Mute triggers. Avoid endless scrolling through Mother’s Day celebrations if it stings. Name What You’re Feeling This might be Envy. Guilt. Anger. Hope. ALL AT ONCE. Naming it helps you hold it without being swallowed by it. Infertility grief isn’t linear, it’s layered and real. Lean Into Support Talk to a friend. A therapist. A community. Leaning into support helps keep grief from hardening into despair. Sometimes just hearing words of comfort “You are not alone” makes all the difference. Fertility Resources to Turn To When The Day Feels Too Heavy Navigating this path is hard enough… one of the hardest days, even. When it comes to infertility, you shouldn’t have to walk it alone. There are fertility resources and tools out there to help: Support groups for those going through fertility treatments The 9 Stages of Infertility Grief Finding Hope on The Infertility Journey Ask Yourself This One Question If this day is a lot to carry, ask yourself: What would help me feel just 10% more supported right now? Maybe it’s saying no to a gathering. Or muting a group chat. Or reflecting on your number of eggs, embryos, treatment options… Or just taking a nap. You don’t need to wait for things to change to feel better. You just need the next right thing. Mother’s Day Doesn’t Define You You may not be a mother in the traditional sense, but the love, care, and effort you’ve poured into trying to get pregnant is real. And powerful. This tough day doesn’t erase your value. This holiday doesn’t define your story. Your heart is still worthy of peace, protection, and honour. You matter. Your story matters. And even though this chapter may feel endless, it is not your whole book. You’re doing something so extremely hard. You’re surviving. And that’s enough. Therapy Support If you’re looking for support from someone who truly understands what you’re going through, book a free consultation. Delia Petrescu is a reproductive trauma therapist who specializes in supporting individuals and couples navigating the silent grief of trying to conceive. She draws on trauma-informed care, emotion-focused therapy (EFT), and narrative techniques to help clients process complex emotions and build emotional resilience through their fertility journey.

April 20-26 was Canadian Fertility Awareness Week, a time that reminds us how common yet often unspoken fertility struggles can be. For many, this week isn’t about statistics or headlines …it’s about the quiet, personal stories that don’t always make it into everyday conversations. To help break that silence, we shared a series of posts across our platforms throughout the week. Here’s a collage of the messages we created to spread awareness and offer support: Fertility Awareness Week Reminders: 1 in 6 couples experience difficulty conceiving. Infertility is not rare, and it is not just about age. It can affect anyone, at any stage of life. Talking about it helps to normalize the experience and break the stigma. What We’re Learning: The Real Impact of Infertility An international study published in BMJ Open pulled together data from over 124,000 women across 32 different studies. It’s one of the most detailed looks we have at how infertility affects not just bodies, but minds and emotions too. Here’s what stood out: Infertility was more common than many expect: 46% of women in the study experienced infertility, and over half faced primary infertility (never conceiving). Smoking showed a strong link to infertility risk — women who smoked had almost double the odds of struggling to conceive. The emotional weight is heavy: women with infertility were 60% more likely to experience significant psychological distress and 40% more likely to experience depression compared to those who hadn’t faced infertility. This study made something very clear: infertility is not just a medical condition … It’s an emotional experience that deserves just as much care. Read article Here Conversations That Help (and Hurt) – New Study Insights When you’re going through fertility challenges, support from friends, family, and even healthcare providers can be a lifeline … or it can be another source of pain. A recent Canadian and U.S. study published in PLOS One asked women directly: What comments actually help? And what makes things harder? The study surveyed women whose fertility treatments were cancelled during the COVID-19 pandemic, a time when isolation made emotional support even more crucial. Here’s what they said: What Helped: Listening without judgment Instilling hope without minimizing their pain Hearing from people with lived experience Distraction (sometimes talking about something else was the greatest kindness) Validating emotions (“It’s okay to feel heartbroken” meant more than solutions) Offering tangible support (small gestures that said “I’m here”) What Hurt: Toxic positivity (“Everything happens for a reason” felt dismissive) Unsolicited advice (especially pushing treatment plans or timelines) Invalidation of feelings (“It’s not a big deal” or “just relax” made things worse) Intrusive questioning (asking for updates or private details uninvited) The take-home message is simple but powerful: Good support isn’t about fixing or forcing hope. It’s about sitting beside someone in what they’re feeling — without trying to steer them out of it. Read Article Here

You just said yes again. A coworker needed help, a friend asked for a favour, or someone looked overwhelmed … and you stepped in Even though you’re running on empty, you put their needs ahead of your own. This kind of moment happens so often it barely registers. It feels like the right thing to do. And to be fair, being thoughtful and helpful isn’t the problem. It’s when the desire to please others becomes automatic (when you say yes out of fear, guilt or habit) that it starts to take a toll. Does this happen often? Can you think of a time in the past months when you have not been under pressure? A time when you have been able to do something you enjoy without rushing because you need to move on to the next item on your busy agenda. Why We Become People Pleasers? On the surface, people-pleasing behaviour can look like kindness. But underneath, it’s often tied to low self-esteem, anxiety, a deep fear of rejection, need for validation, or even a genuine value of being a good person. You might find yourself constantly thinking about how others feel and what they need before even asking yourself what you want. If you’re wondering whether this sounds like you, read our blog on 7 Signs You’re a People Pleaser to check common traits and how they show up in daily life. This need for approval is often a coping mechanism from early experiences where love was conditional or inconsistent. Children who walked on eggshells or felt responsible for the emotional tone of the home learned early on that being agreeable and helping other people was the safest way to avoid conflict. However, people-pleasing may also develop in homes where a parent modeled this behaviour, or where children were asked to take on emotional or practical responsibilities far beyond their capacity. Even in supportive households, when children are not taught how to assert themselves or navigate difficult interpersonal dynamics, they may grow up feeling unequipped to handle people who are dismissive, harsh, or manipulative. In those cases, people pleasing can become a survival response … an attempt to feel safe or validated in an often unpredictable or critical world. In fact, many people begin to please others more actively in adulthood, particularly after entering workplaces, relationships, or social spaces that feel intimidating. Without the tools to manage conflict or tolerate disapproval, it can feel safer to stay agreeable… even when it costs you. Over time, this strategy can become your identity. “If I’m useful, I’m lovable.” Think of your sense of self like a clear glass of water. Each time you say yes to keep someone else happy or to absorb someone’s disappointment, you drop in a bit of dirt. At first, it’s barely noticeable. But over time, the water becomes cloudy, harder to see through. People pleasing behaviour makes it difficult to stay connected to who you are beneath everyone else’s expectations. Often, people-pleasing starts before we even realize it. As children, we might learn that being helpful earns praise, or that staying quiet keeps the peace. If we’re not taught how to handle conflict or assert ourselves, we can grow up fearing disapproval. That fear can follow us into adulthood, where the world doesn’t always meet us with warmth, and where trying to control others’ reactions becomes a form of self-protection. Without realizing it, we carry that script forward and sometimes pass it on. People pleasing may keep others comfortable, but it disconnects you from your own voice, your needs, and your peace of mind. What are the dangers of people-pleasing? You may feel resentful after agreeing to things you didn’t want to do. You might feel anxious, guilty, or uncomfortable setting limits. You start to lose track of your preferences because you’re used to deferring to others. When your nervous system is tuned in and you’re constantly thinking about how to manage the needs of others, can lead to: Anxiety: Worrying about disappointing others or being rejected Burnout: Emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion from chronic overextension Low Self Esteem: Difficulty recognizing your own worth outside of what you provide to others Resentment: Frustration that builds when you feel unseen or taken for granted You may also notice trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, and a sense of disconnection from your own thoughts and feelings. What Happens When You Don’t Stop? If you don’t pause and address the pattern, people-pleasing tendencies can lead to full-blown burnout. You might: Feel like you’re always apologizing … even when it’s not your fault Take on blame for things beyond your control Feel invisible or emotionally numb Get caught in unhealthy behaviours just to avoid saying no Over time, this kind of self-sacrifice and constant need to please other people can take a toll on both your mind and body. When Pleasing Others Hurts Your Relationships Trying to please everyone doesn’t just drain you … it can strain your relationships. You might feel frustrated when others don’t notice your efforts. Or you may feel like people expect too much from you and still give little in return. You might feel: Resentful toward others who don’t reciprocate Overwhelmed by the demands on your time Frustrated by your inability to express what you really want or need You might always be expected to be the one to show up. And if you’re used to using humour or sarcasm to hide your discomfort, this too can become part of the pattern. How To Break the Cycle (Without Feeling Guilty) It’s time to ask yourself some serious questions and come up with some really honest answers. Why is it hard for me to say no? What do I fear will happen if I disappoint someone? When did I learn to associate love and approval with pleasing others? You might notice that saying “yes” comes faster than your awareness of your own discomfort. This is where the real work begins: noticing, pausing, and practicing new choices. Saying no doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you’re learning to set healthy boundaries and that’s an act of self-love. What are the effects of people pleasing on me and those around me? People pleasers often experience difficulties in setting boundaries within their own relationships. This can compromise the relationship and your personal happiness. Excessive people-pleasing will, in time, manifest in a range of negative feelings that start affecting both your physical and mental health: You become angry with yourself for taking on too much. You begin to feel resentful when you say yes to others. You feel guilty for not saying yes to yourself and for not spending quality time with friends and family. You become anxious when not coping, and, if not checked, it can eventually lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression. How Therapy Can Help With People Pleasing A trained psychotherapist can help you to explore why you’ve had to rely on this pattern and how to shift it. Therapy gives you time to think, reflect, and connect with your own voice without the pressure to perform or explain. You can learn to recognize and name your needs, rebuild your self-esteem, and start to make choices that serve you, not just others. Therapy also helps you understand the role of your nervous system…how it reacts when you’re overwhelmed, and how to soothe it so you can be more grounded and less reactive. At Get Reconnected, we work with people who have spent too long prioritizing others at the cost of themselves. If you’re tired of running on empty, stuck in old habits, or unsure how to get out of the cycle, reach out for a free 15-minute consultation.

Have you ever felt like you’re invested in your relationships, and you’re constantly wondering if the people you care about really care about you in return?  Maybe you’ve felt anxious when someone pulls away or find yourself overthinking small changes in someone’s tone or when they text you.  If that sounds familiar, you might be experiencing something known as anxious attachment, a form of insecure attachment that can influence your adult relationships.   Attachment Theory Attachment theory was introduced by psychologist John Bowlby, and it helps to explain how our early caregiving shapes the way we form human relationships as adults.  Your attachment style in childhood often influences how you navigate closeness, intimacy, and connection in adulthood.  When those early bonds are inconsistent, overly protective, or emotionally distant, we might develop an insecure attachment style, craving closeness but fearing rejection or abandonment.  So, what does it mean to have an anxious attachment style, and how can you recognize the patterns that contribute to emotional dependency in a relationship? In this blog, we explore what anxious attachment really means, where it comes from, and how it shows up in romantic relationships.   What is Anxious Attachment? Anxious attachment, also called preoccupied attachment or anxious-ambivalent attachment, is one type of attachment that can form when emotional needs weren’t consistently met in childhood. Maybe your caregiver was loving one moment and distant the next or they were physically there but emotionally unavailable. This can help develop attachment anxiety and create attachment issues later in life.  When this happens, it can leave us with a lingering fear of abandonment or a belief that we’re not quite “enough” on our own. So, we may depend heavily on our partner’s love and commitment for emotional stability.  This doesn’t mean you’re “too much.” It means your attachment style may have been shaped by early attachment trauma. But the good news is that these patterns aren’t permanent. You can overcome anxious attachment style patterns and begin to develop a secure attachment style with awareness and support.   Causes of Anxious Attachment Unpacking the why behind our insecure attachment style isn’t about blaming the past, it’s about understanding how it shaped the present. When we identify the roots of anxious attachment, we give ourselves permission to rewrite the story. We can begin to soothe the fear of abandonment, build self-trust, and develop more secure, balanced relationships. So, what can cause an attachment insecurity?   Inconsistent Parenting The “sometimes yes, sometimes no” dynamic can create unpredictable behaviour in relationships later in life.   One of the most common roots of anxious attachment is inconsistent caregiving. If your parents/caregivers were warm and attentive one day, but distant or unavailable the next, you may have learned that love isn’t stable, it’s something you have to work hard to earn.  This unpredictability teaches children that relationships are a guessing game. As adults, this can translate into overthinking, people-pleasing, or clinging to partners out of fear of being left behind. What might it sound like today? “If they don’t reply right away, did I do something wrong?”   Emotional Unavailability Present, but not really there.  Maybe your parents/caregivers were physically around but emotionally not really there. If your feelings were brushed aside or if you constantly felt unseen, you might have learned to suppress your emotions… or to seek validation elsewhere.  As an adult, you may feel that your worth depends on your partner’s love and commitment, which can affect your ability to form healthy relationships.   What it might feel like: “If I’m not needed or noticed, do I still matter?”   Overprotective Parenting  When love feels like a safety bubble. While it may sound comforting, being overly protected can make it difficult to trust yourself. If you weren’t given the space to make your own decisions or learn from your mistakes, you might now struggle with self-doubt and a need for external validation.  What it might look like: You second-guess your choices and look to others for approval before taking action. This is a hallmark of individuals with an anxious attachment.    Trauma or Loss  When your sense of safety is shaken early on. Early trauma, neglect, or loss can deeply disrupt your sense of safety, laying the foundation for attachment trauma and attachment anxiety. These experiences can imprint the belief that connection is fragile, or worse, unsafe. As adults, we may develop a fear of being left, which leads to clinging, hypervigilance, or feeling emotionally overwhelmed in close relationships. What it might trigger: “If I let my guard down, I’ll get hurt again.”   Parental Anxiety You felt it… even if they never said it. Children are emotional sponges. If a caregiver was highly anxious, especially in relationships, you may have absorbed their fears, learning that love comes with worry, unpredictability, or the need to control outcomes. You may now mirror these patterns: overthinking, catastrophizing, or needing constant reassurance in romantic relationships to feel secure. What it might sound like in your head: “If they pull away even a little, it must mean something’s wrong.”   Genetic Sensitivity Some of us are wired to feel more deeply. It’s not all nurture … but nature plays a part too. Some people are genetically predisposed to emotional sensitivity or anxiety. This doesn’t mean anxious attachment is inevitable, but it does mean certain individuals may be more vulnerable to developing it in the face of inconsistent caregiving or early emotional wounds. While attachment styles don’t come down to genes alone, nature can influence how you respond to early relationships.   Signs of Anxious Attachment Style If your early experiences were filled with emotional unpredictability, your nervous system may have learned to stay on high alert.  Maybe a parent was sometimes warm and loving but other times distant or unavailable. Over time, this teaches the brain to stay on high alert for signs of rejection or emotional loss. These survival patterns can carry into adult attachment, and influence how you think, feel, and connect with others.  Here are some signs that suggest an anxious attachment style may be present:   Constant Need for Reassurance Do you ever find yourself needing to hear “I care about you” or “We’re good!” more often than others? Maybe you reread messages, replay conversations, or check in with friends or partners to make sure everything is okay. This is common in people with an anxious attachment.   Fear of Rejection Even when things seem fine, there’s a lingering fear that people might leave. A small change in tone, a delayed response, or a canceled plan can feel like a sign that something’s wrong. This fear can make it hard to relax in relationships, because part of you is always on guard.  Adults with an anxious attachment often interpret neutral events as potential rejection or abandonment.   Overthinking Everything  Replaying conversations and analyzing every message is common. These are patterns individuals with an anxious attachment may use to predict and prevent loss.   For someone with anxious attachment, even tiny cues can feel huge. Overthinking can feel like a way to prevent pain, but most often, it just keeps you stuck in anxiety.   Emotional Highs and Lows Relationships can feel like a rollercoaster. When things are good, they feel amazing. But if there’s even a small moment of emotional distance, it can feel devastating. This cycle can be exhausting and leave you drained and even burnt out and unsure how to find steady ground.   Jealousy or Possessiveness  You might feel uncomfortable when someone you care about gives attention to others. Maybe you worry they’ll replace you or that your bond isn’t strong enough. These feelings don’t come from a lack of love… but from a fear of losing the connection that means so much to you.   Clinginess or Overdependence  When a loved one is distant, even for a short time, it might feel overwhelming or triggering. You might try to hold on tighter, texting or checking in more, just to feel close again. It’s not about trying to control the other person, but about trying to soothe your own anxiety. You may hold on tightly when someone pulls away, not to control, but to avoid feeling abandoned. This can make it hard to build secure attachment styles.   Struggling with Boundaries   Boundaries can feel confusing when your nervous system equates space with abandonment. You might Avoid setting boundaries for fear of rejection Feel hurt when others need space  Crave closeness but feel uneasy once you get it     Difficulty Calming Yourself Without Reassurance  Without outside reassurance, regulating emotions may feel nearly impossible. This is typical for those with an insecure attachment style. You might feel lost, anxious, or empty, and need others to feel calm again.   Recognizing Anxious Attachment in Relationships Even when things seem fine, people with an anxious attachment may feel like they’re waiting for the other shoe to drop. A tone shift or shorter text can trigger spirals of worry. These feelings often trace back to childhood, where love felt conditional or inconsistent. But here’s what’s important to remember: You’re not broken. Your brain adapted to survive  These patterns made sense once.  ·  You can deal with them and begin forming more life-enriching relationships.   Anxious Attachment Triggers Emotional dependency can feel like needing others to “fill you up” emotionally. If you have an anxious attachment style, you might rely on others for validation, reassurance, or a sense of worth, not because you’re needy, but beca...

Have you ever said yes when you really meant no? Maybe you agreed to take on one more thing, even though your plate was already overflowing. Or you stayed quiet during a conversation because you didn’t want to rock the boat, even though something didn’t feel right. Maybe you smiled, nodded, and played along, while a little voice inside whispered ‘This isn’t what I want.’ That inner tug-of-war? That’s what people pleasing often feels like. It’s not just about being kind or helpful. It’s about feeling the need to keep the peace, avoid conflict, or live up to who we think others expect us to be—even if it means putting ourselves last. From the outside, it might seem like everything’s fine, but on the inside, it can be exhausting. In this month’s newsletter, we want to address and unpack what people pleasing really is, where it starts, how it shows up in our lives and relationships, and why it’s so hard to stop—even when we know it’s not serving us. 7 Signs You’re a People Pleaser Earlier this month, we wrote a blog on the 7 common signs of people pleasing. People pleasing doesn’t always look the way we expect. Sometimes it’s subtle—like saying “it’s fine” when it really isn’t, apologizing for things that aren’t your fault, or struggling to make a decision when someone else might be affected. Here are seven signs that may point to people-pleasing tendencies: Struggling to say no, even when you’re exhausted Feeling responsible for others’ emotions Constantly scanning for how others might react Trying to avoid conflict at all costs Being afraid of being seen as selfish Apologizing excessively Feeling guilty to prioritize yourself These behaviours often originate from early experiences where keeping others happy helped us feel safe, loved, or accepted. Why is This Important? People pleasing isn’t just a habit—it’s something many of us learn early on. But over time, constantly putting others first can take a toll. It can leave you feeling emotionally drained, quietly resentful, or unsure of who you really are outside of everyone else’s needs. The good news? Noticing these patterns is the first step. When you start to recognize what’s going on, you can begin to shift things one small choice at a time. Read the full blog here Gabor Maté on Why We People Please In this interview on Let it Be Easy with Susie Moore, Dr. Gabor Maté talks about something many of us can relate to: doing things for others at the expense of ourselves. He explains that this tendency often starts when we’re young—especially if we felt we had to be “good” or easygoing to be accepted or avoid conflict. The more we do it, the more it becomes a pattern. Dr. Maté encourages us to get curious about our behaviour. Ask yourself: I wonder why I did that? What was my fear? Of being myself? He suggests that when faced with the choice, choose guilt over resentment—because guilt means you’ve honored yourself, even if it feels uncomfortable. Why is this important? Because it helps us stop blaming ourselves for always saying yes, avoiding hard conversations, or keeping the peace at our own expense. When we understand why we do it, we can start being kinder to ourselves and begin choosing honesty and self-respect over automatic approval. It’s not easy, but it’s how we start coming back to ourselves. Watch Episode Here Final Thoughts Was there a moment today when you wanted to say no but said yes instead? Try to notice it, not with judgment but with curiosity. Ask yourself: What was I afraid might happen if I said what I really felt? That kind of noticing matters. And here’s the deeper truth: the part of you that recognizes you’re not being fully yourself—that’s your authentic self. Every time you notice a moment like that, you’re already reconnecting with it. Little by little, this awareness helps you come back to who you really are. At Get Reconnected, we create space for exactly that kind of reflection. Therapy isn’t about fixing—it’s about getting curious about yourself. If people pleasing has been a hard pattern to break on your own, our People Pleasing Therapy Page shares more about how we can help. You’ll find a place to explore your needs, understand your boundaries, and learn to prioritize yourself without guilt. Let’s notice what’s coming up for you. Book a free 15-minute consultation.

Trauma isn’t just something you remember. It’s something your brain holds onto. You’ve probably wondered why certain sensations or memories feel stuck in your mind. Why does your heart suddenly race when something reminds you of the past? Why do certain memories feel jumbled or out of order? Why is it so hard to just let go and move on? This is because of how traumatic events change the brain. When you go through something extremely stressful or frightening, your brain reorganizes itself to protect you. Some parts go into overdrive and make you more alert to danger, while others slow down and make it harder to think clearly or remember details. This is by no means a weakness or your inability to cope… it’s just the way your brain does its job to keep you safe. If you’re curious what happens when we experience an overwhelming situation or something terrifying, you’re in the right place. Continue reading and you’ll find out what’s really happening when you experience trauma. The Brain’s Response to Trauma – A Neurobiological Perspective Trauma physically changes how the brain works. According to trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, these changes happen in three major ways:   The Brain Becomes Overly Sensitive To Danger After a traumatic event, the brain sees threats everywhere, even when there’s no real danger. This happens in the survival part of the brain that reacts automatically and not in the thinking part that helps you assess situations logically.   The Brain Struggles To Filter Out Unimportant Information Normally, your brain helps you focus on what matters and inhibit things that don’t. After trauma, this system malfunctions and makes it hard to ignore small details that feel important but aren’t actually a threat. This can make ordinary situations feel overwhelming.   The Connection To Your Own Body Becomes Weaker Trauma can numb the brain’s ability to recognize what’s happening inside your body. This is a protective mechanism. When terrifying things happen, physical sensations such as a racing heart or tight chest can be intense. To protect you, the brain turns down those signals and makes it harder to feel emotions or bodily sensations. This dissociation is a common effect of trauma. Research has shown that trauma doesn’t just leave emotional scars but it physically changes brain structure and function, particularly in areas like the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. These changes help explain why after a traumatic experience we may experience hypervigilance, memory issues, and difficulty regulating emotions. Three key areas are impacted: Amygdala (fear center) Hippocampus (memory organizer) Prefrontal cortex (decision-maker and emotional regulator)   1.  The Amygdala – The Brain’s Alarm System The amygdala is a small, almond-shaped structure inside our brains. Basically, the word “amygdala” comes from the Latin word for “almond” because of its shape. Even though it is a tiny structure, it plays a huge role in processing emotions, especially fear and survival instincts. It’s like the brain’s watchdog or alarm system. It is always scanning for danger and deciding when to sound the alarm. Before a traumatic experience, your brain responds to danger in a balanced way. If you hear a loud car horn, you might feel startled for a moment, but your brain quickly realizes everything is fine, and you calm down. But after a traumatic event, the brain’s alarm system (amygdala) gets stuck in high alert. It starts reacting to everyday things (loud noises, sudden movements, or certain smells) as if they are serious threats. Those everyday situations end up triggering a panic response. Even in completely safe situations, the body feels like it is in danger. This fight or flight response becomes easily triggered. Why does it feel so real? Because your amygdala isn’t logical. It doesn’t ask if something is dangerous, it just reacts. It reacts as if the threat is still happening, and this is based on what it remembers.   2.   The Hippocampus – When Memories Don’t Feel Like the Past The hippocampus is the brain’s memory organizer. It helps distinguish between past and present and ensures memories are stored in an orderly way. Before a traumatic experience, the hippocampus helps process memories logically, so past events feel like they happened in the past. But after a traumatic event, the hippocampus shrinks and becomes less effective. Instead of neatly storing traumatic memories, it scrambles them. This leads to Intrusive memories (flashbacks) Time distortions (feeling like the trauma is happening now) Gaps in memory (trouble recalling details or remembering events clearly) Because the hippocampus isn’t processing trauma as a past event, it can feel like it’s still happening, even if it occurred years ago. For instance, someone who survived a violent situation might react as though they are in danger when they see someone who looks like their past aggressor, even if they are in a completely safe environment. The brain hasn’t filled the memory correctly, so it feels present instead of past.   3.   The Prefrontal Cortex – When Logic and Emotion Fall Out of Balance The prefrontal cortex is the brain’s control center. It helps with: Thinking rationally, planning Managing your feelings Making decisions Before a traumatic experience, the prefrontal cortex helps you stay calm, think clearly, and make logical decisions. It keeps emotions balanced and helps you respond rather than react. But after a traumatic event, this part becomes less active and makes it difficult to manage feelings, think through decisions or override fear-based reactions. This is why someone might know they are safe but still feel unsafe. The brain isn’t sending strong enough signals to quiet the fear response. For instance, someone who experienced childhood abuse or neglect may struggle to trust others, even in healthy relationships. Even when they recognize they are loved, their brain still expects rejection because the part responsible for calming those fears isn’t working as well as it should.   Why Trauma Feels So Inescapable Trauma changes how the brain processes the world. It doesn’t just affect emotions but it also physically rewires the brain and makes it respond differently to daily situations. The limbic system and fear circuitry become overactive, while areas that mediate rational thought show decreased activity. This is why people who have been through a trauma exposure may experience: Hypervigilance – feeling constantly on edge, always scanning for danger, even when everything is fine. Emotional dysregulation – struggle to manage emotions, with feelings that feel too intense or unpredictable. Memory difficulties – including flashbacks or trouble recalling events clearly. Feeling disconnected from the present – feeling as if they are detached from the present moment. These reactions have nothing to do with being weak or having a personality flaw. They are the brain’s way of trying to protect itself after a distressing experience. In the midst of trauma, people may experience a “deer in the headlight” response, where they freeze completely (another survival mechanism). Research shows that trauma physically changes key areas of the brain, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. These changes affect how we process fear, store memories, and regulate emotions, which is why trauma can feel so inescapable.   The Brain Can Adapt Again The brain doesn’t stay stuck forever. Just as trauma rewires it for survival, it can also rewire itself to heal. That’s called neuroplasticity. The brain is built to adapt, rebuild and recover. Treatment of trauma focuses on this capacity for change. Here’s what we know about recovery Therapy Helps Rebuild Pathways and Reconsolidate Memories Trauma-informed therapy can help process traumatic memories so they don’t feel like active threats. Here are some therapy approaches that address the neurobiological consequences of trauma: Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) Uses guided visualization and rapid eye movements to help process traumatic memories in a way that reduces emotional distress. Polyvagal Theory in Therapy This approach helps calm the nervous system by recognizing how the body reacts to stress. Somatic Therapy Somatic therapy uses techniques like deep breathing, gentle movement, and touch to help release trauma that the body holds onto. Eye Movement and Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Uses guided eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help process traumatic memories in a way that makes them feel less intense over time. Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) Helps you recognize and shift negative thoughts about your trauma so you can see things in a new way and feel less overwhelmed by them.   Key Takeaways Trauma doesn’t just affect emotions…it reshapes the brain in ways that can impact memory, emotional regulation, and a sense of safety. If you’ve struggled with response to stress, it’s not because you’re weak or broken. Your brain adapted to survive. Exposure to trauma, especially early life trauma, can significantly alter brain development and even affect gene expression. But good news! Your brain is also wired for healing. With the right support, it can learn to feel safe again. Emotional trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder are not permanent states, they are conditions that can be addressed with proper care and understanding.   Trauma FAQs 1. Are trauma anniversaries real? Yes, they are. Trauma anniversaries happen when a certain date, season, or event reminds your brain of something painful from the past. Even if you’re not thinking about it consciously, your body and emotions might react. You might be feeling anxious, unsettled, or emotional around the same time each year. This is because the brain holds onto the memory in a way t...

What happens when you are struggling to conceive a second time around? You thought having another child would be easy. You pictured siblings growing up together, but now each month brings another negative test.  Maybe you’ve had a miscarriage. Maybe doctors can’t explain what’s wrong. Maybe friends and family don’t understand why you’re upset because you ‘already have a child.’ The truth is, experiencing infertility after a previous pregnancy can be just as painful as primary infertility. You might feel lost, overwhelmed, or guilty for wanting another child, frustrated with your body, or heartbroken.  If this sounds familiar, we’re here to support you.   What is Secondary Infertility? Secondary infertility is defined as when you have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a pregnancy to term after having one or more children naturally.  It can feel confusing and isolating, especially when people around you assume you should be able to conceive again without a problem.     Why am I so angry about infertility? Anger is often covering up something deeper…like hurt, fear, or helplessness. You might feel angry at your body, at doctors, at people who seem to get pregnant without trying. That anger is valid. It’s part of grief.   Common Causes of Secondary Infertility Fertility changes over time. Even if nothing was wrong the first time, new challenges can arise. Some common causes of secondary infertility include:  Age-related changes (lower egg quality, declining sperm health) Hormonal imbalances such as Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), thyroid issues, or ovulation disorders. Scarring from previous pregnancies or deliveries affecting the fallopian tube. Male-factor infertility (low sperm count, poor motility, high DNA fragmentation) Pelvic Inflammatory disease Unexplained infertility, where no clear cause is found Even though this isn’t your fault, it doesn’t make it easier!   Why This Feels So Hard People assume that because you have one child, you shouldn’t be struggling. If you are going through secondary infertility, it often feels that you are misunderstood.  But the pain of secondary infertility is real. You may feel heartbroken and alone, especially if others don’t understand. You might feel guilty, as if wanting another baby makes you ungrateful. Your relationships may feel strained, whether with your partner, family, or friends who don’t know what to say. You might feel stuck between two worlds—a parent who’s grateful for their child but longing for another. Trying to get pregnant again can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. You might be working with a fertility clinic or fertility specialist, but answers aren’t coming easily.   Support for Every Stage of the Journey Your experience with secondary infertility may look different from someone else’s. Whether you’re just starting to notice difficulties or have been trying for years, support is available. Trying to Conceive? We offer emotional support while you navigate the uncertainty. Facing Pregnancy Loss? We provide a space to grieve and heal. Exploring treatment options? Whether it’s in vitro fertilization (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI) or lifestyle changes, we help you explore your next steps with clarity.     How We Can Help Here’s how an infertility counsellor can help: Everyone’s journey is different, so we offer multiple types of support: Individual Counseling – One-on-one support to help you process emotions and create a treatment plan that fits your needs. Couples Counseling – Helping partners navigate fertility issues together. Mind-Body Workshops – using mindfulness and relaxation to ease the rollercoaster of emotions.   Is infertility a form of trauma? Yes, for many people, infertility can feel traumatic. There’s loss, disappointment, medical procedures, and the feeling that something important is out of your control. And often, you’re going through it without a clear ending. That emotional weight can stay with you…but healing is possible. Talking through it with someone who understands can help lessen that weight.   Counseling Can Help You: A mental health professional specializing in fertility can help you: Process grief, frustration, and uncertainty of experiencing infertility Cope with anxiety, disappointment, and relationship stress Navigate fertility treatments and explore the right treatment options Release guilt and validate your experience—because trouble getting pregnant again is real, and you deserve support.  Let’s Talk. Book a consultation today. You don’t have to go through this alone.   Secondary Infertility Counselling FAQ’s   1. What are the emotions of secondary infertility? Secondary infertility often brings a complex mix of emotions. Parents may feel guilt for wanting “more” when they already have a child, grief for the family they imagined, isolation from peers who don’t understand, and shame for struggling with something they assumed would come naturally again. Many also experience envy, frustration, and a deep sense of loss.   2. How to make peace with secondary infertility? Making peace doesn’t mean you have to be okay with it right away. It means finding ways to live with the pain, not against it. That might involve talking to a therapist, learning how to cope with triggers, or slowly letting go of the pressure to “move on.” It takes time and it’s okay if you’re not there yet. Everyone’s path to peace looks different.   3. How many couples struggle with secondary infertility? It’s more common than people think. About 1 in 6 couples who try to have another child run into fertility issues. It’s rarely talked about because people assume that once you’ve had one child, the rest should be easy, but that’s not always the case.   4. How do I stop being sad about infertility? It’s okay to feel sad, infertility grief is real. Sadness is a normal response to loss. Trying to ignore or bury it can make it worse over time. What helps is giving yourself permission to feel the sadness, then finding ways to take care of yourself: therapy, creative outlets, journaling, or just talking with someone who gets it.   5. What is the grief of secondary infertility? This grief is often ambiguous and layered. It’s a quiet kind of grief. You’re grieving the baby you hoped for, the family picture you had in mind, or the chance to give your child a sibling. It’s painful because it’s invisible to most people. It’s a silent sorrow, made harder when others assume you “should be fine.”   6. Can stress cause secondary infertility? Stress doesn’t directly cause infertility, but being under constant emotional pressure can throw off your body’s natural rhythms, like ovulation or hormones. That said, stress is usually a result of infertility—not the cause. Therapy can help you find better ways to manage that stress, so it doesn’t take over your life.

Do you find yourself saying yes to others before truly considering it?  Do you often feel regret when it’s time to follow through on those commitments? It’s natural to be considerate. After all, humans are biologically wired to cooperate and respond to our environment. In many ways, our survival has depended on it.   Interestingly, the first contract in human history wasn’t a legal document, it was a social contract. Long before written agreements, different groups formed unspoken treaties to ensure cooperation, safety, and mutual survival.  This instinct to maintain harmony isn’t just cultural, it’s deeply wired into us.   By securing our environment and strengthening our social bonds, we create a sense of safety that allows us to navigate the world with less conflict. But what happens when this natural instinct to cooperate and maintain harmony starts working against you?  Understanding people-pleasing isn’t just about being kind or considerate. People-pleasing is a pattern of behaviour where you feel an obligation to meet everyone’s expectations, often at the expense of your own needs and well-being.  If you find yourself prioritizing the needs of others to avoid conflict, rejection, or disapproval, you might be caught in the people-pleasing cycle.  The tricky part? It can be so ingrained that you don’t even realize you’re doing it.  You may think you’re just being helpful, easygoing, or a “good friend,” when in reality, you might be stretching yourself too thin, silencing your own needs, or carrying a quiet resentment that no one seems to notice (or appreciate) how much you do. You tend to ignore your own needs while going to great lengths to ensure others feel happy, comfortable, and satisfied.   So, how do you know if you have people pleasing tendencies? What are the signs of people-pleasing behaviours that go beyond just being nice?  In this blog we’ll talk about the subtle (and not-so-subtle) red flags that might indicate you’re putting others before yourself a little too often.  We also explore the impact of people-pleasing and provide strategies for breaking the habit of people-pleasing.   Signs You Might Be a People-Pleaser 1. You Struggle to Say No Saying no is about setting boundaries, and when trying to please others, boundaries can feel terrifying.  Why? Because saying no might come with consequences…fear of losing a relationship, fear of being judged, or fear of no longer being seen as the “fixer” who’s always available. If your identity has been built around saying yes, rejecting a request can feel like rejecting a part of yourself.  It can also feel like you’re risking your place in someone’s life, whether it’s a friendship, a job, or a family dynamic.  If saying no makes you feel like your worth or likeability is at stake, that’s a red flag you may be a people pleaser.   What You Can Do: Establish Healthy Boundaries with Yourself First Just because you understand someone’s feelings doesn’t mean you have to take them on as your own.  You can care about what they’re going through while still honouring your own emotions. Think of boundaries as a way to keep people in your life, not push them away. Without boundaries, resentment builds. With boundaries, relationships become more balanced. Try this: Do a social experiment with yourself. Every time you say no to something, ask: “What am I saying yes to instead?” Maybe you’re saying yes to your well-being, your time, your mental peace. If you find yourself constantly agreeing to things you don’t want to do, whether it’s extra work, social events, or favours … this could be a sign of people-pleasing behaviour.   2. You Feel Responsible for Others’ Feelings It’s important to take responsibility for your words and actions, especially if they’ve hurt someone. … But people-pleasers often take it a step further, believing they are responsible for how others feel, even when it’s beyond their control. For example, if someone is upset, do you immediately feel like you must “fix” it? Do you struggle to separate what’s yours to own versus what someone else is bringing from their own experiences? People-pleasers often blur the lines between caring and carrying. They take on emotions that aren’t theirs, believing that if someone else is unhappy, it must be their fault, or their job to make it better. What You Can Do: Be Honest with Yourself Ask yourself: What am I really afraid of? Fear of rejection? Fear of being disliked? Fear of conflict? Understanding the root can help you break the cycle. You don’t have to carry someone else’s emotions to be a compassionate person.   3. You Seek Approval and Validation Do you feel uneasy if someone seems upset with you? Do you overanalyze conversations, wondering if you said the “wrong” thing? For people pleasers, self-worth is often tied to external validation. If people are happy with them, they feel okay. If someone is upset, they feel like they’ve failed. It’s like constantly waiting for a report card… If people smile at you, you get an A. If they frown, it’s a D. But living at the mercy of other people’s reactions is exhausting. It’s also impossible to control. What You Can Do: Set Personal Rules for Yourself Your personal integrity should not be up for negotiation. If a request makes you uncomfortable or goes against your values, remind yourself: Saying yes to someone else should not mean saying no to yourself. The more you practice making decisions based on your own values, rather than others’ expectations, the more self-trust you’ll build.   4. You Avoid Conflict at All Costs Do you go along with things just to “keep the peace,” even when you don’t agree?  And it makes sense because disagreement can feel like rejection. You might fear that speaking up will make others upset, lead to confrontation, or even damage a relationship.  But constantly suppressing your true thoughts and feelings leads to frustration, resentment, and emotional exhaustion.   Think of it this way: If avoiding external conflict is creating internal conflict, it’s time to reconsider.  If you frequently catch yourself thinking, I wish I had spoken up, or I wish I had set a boundary, it might be time to reassess.   How to Reevaluate Ask yourself: Am I in harmony with myself? If saying yes to something throws you off balance… if it makes you feel disconnected from your values, it’s probably something worth saying no to. What You Can Do: Reframe Conflict as Healthy Communication Not all conflict is destructive. In fact, addressing issues directly often leads to stronger, more authentic relationships. If you struggle to speak up, start small: Practice disagreeing in low-stakes situations. If a friend suggests a restaurant you don’t like, voice your opinion instead of going along with it. Use “I” statements. Instead of saying, You always ignore my feelings, try: I feel unheard when my concerns are dismissed. Pause before responding. If your instinct is to immediately agree, take a deep breath and ask yourself, Do I actually want this?   The more you practice, the easier it becomes to assert yourself without guilt.   5. You Apologize Excessively Do you find yourself saying “sorry” for things that don’t actually require an apology? While acknowledging mistakes is important, over-apologizing can signal deeper issues … like guilt, insecurity, or a fear of upsetting others. Saying sorry can become a reflex. You might apologize for taking up space, for asking a question, or even for someone else’s mistake. But when every sentence starts with I’m sorry, it reinforces the idea that you are somehow at fault … when in reality, you’re not. What You Can Do: Replace Apologies with Gratitude or Assertiveness Next time you catch yourself about to say sorry, ask: Did I actually do something wrong? If not, swap it for something more confident: Instead of Sorry for being late, say Thanks for waiting for me. Instead of Sorry for asking so many questions, say I appreciate your help clarifying this. Instead of Sorry, can I say something? say I’d like to add something here. Shifting your language helps reinforce self-worth and reduces unnecessary guilt.   6. You Overcommit and Feel Overwhelmed Do you say yes to every request, even when your schedule is already packed? Overcommitting is a common habit among people pleasers because saying no feels like letting someone down. But constantly taking on more than you can handle leads to exhaustion, stress, and burnout. At first, it might feel good to be the “go-to person” that everyone relies on. But when you’re stretched too thin, your well-being takes a hit. You might feel drained, resentful, or even start dreading interactions with the very people you wanted to help. What You Can Do: Set Limits Before You’re Overwhelmed Instead of automatically saying yes, give yourself time to decide: Try saying, Let me check my schedule and get back to you. This gives you space to assess whether you truly have the time and energy. Create a “yes” budget. Decide in advance how many commitments you can realistically handle each week, and stick to it. Prioritize your well-being: If saying yes to someone else means saying no to your own rest, reconsider. Protecting your time isn’t selfish … It’s necessary for your health and happiness.   7. You Feel Guilty Prioritizing Yourself If taking time for yourself feels selfish, you may have been conditioned to believe that your needs don’t matter as much as others’. People pleasers often struggle with the idea that rest, self-care, and personal goals are just as important as helping others. You might feel uneasy declining invitations, taking a break, or setting boundaries because deep down, you worry that prioritizing yourself means disappointing someone else. But the truth is, constantly putting yourself last only leads to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. What You Can Do: Refra...

Winter can be tough! Shorter days and colder weather can take a real toll on our mood. Many people feel a bit down this time of year. This is often called the “winter blues,” or in more severe cases, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). You might notice yourself feeling more tired, less motivated, or just not as interested in things you usually enjoy. Many people experience the winter blues when days get shorter and the weather turns cold, but it’s important to recognize when these mood changes might indicate something more serious. The good news is that recognizing these changes as a normal part of the winter season can be the first step before you can do something to beat those winter blues.   What Those Winter Blues Really Feel Like You’re hitting the snooze button for the third time, even though you went to bed early. The thought of leaving your warm cocoon of blankets feels almost impossible. Your favorite activities? They still interest you—but it’s harder to get excited about them. Maybe you’re craving comfort foods more than usual, finding yourself reaching for extra carbs and sugary treats. You’re sluggish, a little down, but you can still function. These are classic signs of the winter blues—a temporary dip in mood caused by shorter days and colder weather. While they can be frustrating, they don’t necessarily disrupt your daily life in a significant way. However, when these feelings become persistent, severe, and start interfering with your ability to function, they may be signs of something more—Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).   What is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? SAD is a type of depression that occurs during a specific season, usually fall and winter months. It is formally called seasonal affective disorder and is considered a type of major depressive disorder with a seasonal pattern. It is a mood disorder that affects people who normally have good mental health throughout the year, and it impairs daily functioning and interferes with daily activities. People that struggle with SAD typically experience symptoms that start in late fall when daylight hours begin to decrease. Seasonal mood shifts can affect even those who usually feel mentally well throughout the year. When the winter blues set in, it disrupts daily life and makes simple tasks feel overwhelming. Symptoms typically appear in late fall or early winter and improve during spring and summer. Most people with SAD begin to feel the effects when fall arrives and continues to experience SAD throughout the winter months. But, there have been instances where this pattern is reversed, and the symptoms occur during the summer months, a ‘summertime sadness’ or summer depression.   Symptoms of SAD: Symptoms can include signs similar to those of major depression, and SAD symptoms may vary in intensity: Low mood: may feel like a heavy cloud that lingers, everything may seem a little duller and harder to face. It can bring a sense of sadness or hopelessness that’s tough to shake, even when there’s no clear reason for it. A persistent feeling of sadness or hopelessness. Many people feel sad during fall and winter due to these seasonal changes. Loss of interest/ lack of motivation: Things that once felt exciting or fulfilling start to feel like a chore. Hobbies, social events, or even favorite pastimes lose their spark, leaving little motivation to engage in them. A decrease in interest or pleasure in once-enjoyed activities. These symptoms of depression can make everyday activities feel overwhelming. Fatigue: No matter how much sleep you get, you still wake up feeling drained. Simple tasks feel exhausting, and even getting through the day can seem like a struggle. Feeling excessively tired or lethargic, even after sleeping. The lack of sunlight in fall and winter can contribute significantly to this fatigue. Sleep disturbances: Mornings feel impossible to face, and getting out of bed takes extra effort. On the other hand, sleep might be the only escape, leading to long hours of rest that still don’t feel refreshing. Difficulty waking up in the morning or excessive sleeping. This is a common symptom for those who experience SAD. Weight changes: Cravings for comfort foods, especially carbs, can lead to unexpected weight gain. On the flip side, a loss of appetite might cause weight to drop without trying. Gaining weight due to increased cravings for carbohydrates or losing weight. SAD may cause significant changes in appetite and weight. Difficulty concentrating: Your mind feels cloudy, making it hard to focus or stay on track. Even simple tasks take more effort, and thoughts seem to slip away just as quickly as they come. A feeling of mental fog or difficulty focusing. Social withdrawal: Spending time with others feels exhausting, leading to a pull toward isolation. The idea of socializing feels more like a burden than a source of comfort. A desire to isolate from family and friends. In Canada, long winters and less sunlight make Seasonal Affective Disorder SAD more common, particularly prevalent, affecting about 2-3% of the population (CMHA, 2021). Due to the long winters and reduced sunlight. While the exact cause isn’t fully known, experts believe this type of depression happens because of seasonal changes.   The Science Behind The Seasons Our bodies operate on a delicate internal clock, or circadian rhythm, that’s significantly influenced by sunlight. When winter brings shorter days and less natural light, this rhythm can be disrupted, leading to: Decreased serotonin production, a neurotransmitter that helps regulate mood Increased melatonin levels, which can make you feel sleepy and sluggish Vitamin D efficiency, as our bodies produce less when exposed to less sunlight It is thought that this subtype of depression occurs in response to changes brought on by the weather changes. The body’s natural biological rhythms can get thrown off by the lack of are disrupted by the reduced sunlight and lead to hormonal imbalances. This affects important brain chemicals that control mood and sleep, making winter months feel heavier and harder to get through and thereby impacting neurotransmitters in the brain, especially those that regulate mood and sleep cycles (CMHA, 2021). If you’ve been feeling sluggish, moody, or just not yourself, you’re not alone. A big part of this is how winter affects our brain chemistry and biological rhythms, but the good news is, there are ways to turn things around. If you regularly feel sad when daylight hours decrease, you might be experiencing seasonal affective disorder.   1. Get More Natural Light – Boost Serotonin and Regulate your Circadian Rhythm Sunlight is one of the most powerful tools for keeping your mood and energy levels up. It helps regulate your circadian rhythm (your body’s internal clock) and boosts serotonin, a neurotransmitter that makes you feel calm and happy. Get outside in the morning – even if it’s cold. Just 20-30 minutes of natural light exposure can help regulate your sleep wake cycle and improve your mood. Sit Near Windows or work in well-lit spaces during the day. Consider a light therapy lamp if sunlight is limited. Use it for 20-30 minutes in the morning. It mimics sunlight and helps keep your brain on track. 2. Move Your Body – Release Dopamine and Endorphins Exercise is one of the easiest ways to feel better, fast. Physical movement releases endorphins (your body’s natural painkillers) and dopamine (the “reward” hormone that gives you a sense of accomplishment). It also helps regulate your body temperature and energy levels, which can get thrown off in winter. Do anything active – walk, stretch, dance in your kitchen, or go to the gym. The goal is to move, not to be perfect. Start small – 5 minutes is better than nothing. Once you start, you’ll probably keep going. Try outdoor exercise if possible – fresh air + movement = double the mood boost 3. Fix Your Sleep Schedule Winter messes with our melatonin production, the hormone that makes us sleepy. Less sunlight means our brains produce melatonin earlier, making us feel sluggish before it’s even bedtime. The key is to reset your sleep schedule so your body knows when to be awake and when to wind down. Get morning light exposure as soon as you wake up. It signals to your brain that it’s daytime. Stick to a consistent sleep schedule (yes, even on the weekends). Avoid screens at night – blue light tricks your brain into thinking it’s still daytime and messes up melatonin production. Try a sunrise alarm clock if waking up in the dark is a struggle. 4. Eat for Mood Balance – Support Serotonin and Energy Levels Food impacts how you feel more than you think. Winter cravings tend to lean toward carbs and sugar because they temporarily boost serotonin, but they can also cause crashes. Instead, focus on foods that naturally support brain chemistry. Eat more protein (eggs, fish, turkey, nuts) to support dopamine production. Get healthy fats (avocados, olive oil, nuts) to stabilize your mood. Add omega-3s (found in salmon, flaxseeds, walnuts) to reduce inflammation and support brain function. Stay hydrated! (Dehydration can make you feel sluggish and foggy. 5. Stay Social – Boost Oxytocin It’s tempting to hibernate in winter, but too much isolation makes the blues worse. Social interaction releases oxytocin, the “bonding” hormone that helps you feel connected and supported. Make plans, even when you don’t feel like it. A quick coffee date, a phone call, or a video chat can boost your mood. If getting out feels overwhelming, find small ways to connect – text a friend, send a meme, or join an online group. Combine socializing with movement (like a winter walk) for double the benefit. 6. Do Things That Make You Happy – Dopamine and Endorphins Boosters When everything feels dull, it’s easy to stop doing things you enjoy. But small dopamine-boosting activities can make a big differ...

What are thoughts?  According to cognitive science, a thought is a mental process where our brain takes in information, processes it, and forms an idea, image, or understanding.  Basically, thoughts are the engine that can shape our lives.  Without thoughts we cannot plan, we cannot problem solve, we cannot daydream … Our thoughts come from different parts of the brain working together. When we experience something, our senses gather information and send it to the brain as signals.  The brain then mixes this new information with our memories, emotions, and ongoing thinking.  In a nutshell, our brain constantly combines what we see, hear, and feel with what we already know to form our thoughts. In this newsletter edition we are bringing together some research on thoughts.  Did You Know We Have More than 6,000 Thoughts Per Day? Research indicates that we have over 6,000 thoughts daily.  However, a common misconception suggests we have around 60,000 thoughts per day, a figure not supported by scientific evidence.  A study led by Dr. Jordan Poppenk and his master’s student, Julie Tseng, at Queen’s University provides a more accurate understanding of our thought processes through the concept of Thought Worms.  Dr. Poppenk and Tseng introduced the concept of “thought worms,” which represent consecutive moments when an individual focuses on the same idea.  Using functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI), they tracked these thought worms by mapping distinct patterns of brain activity.  Each new thought corresponds to a unique point in the brain’s activity pattern which allows researchers to detect transitions between thoughts. Why is This Important? Our minds are constantly shifting between thoughts, but we’re unaware of most of them. The thought worms research by Dr. Jordan Poppenk and Julie Tseng shows how often these shifts happen, giving us a glimpse into the flow of our minds. Here’s where negativity bias comes in. Our brains are wired to focus on problems and worst-case scenarios for survival.  This means many of these unnoticed thoughts lean toward worry, doubt, or fear. Without realizing it, we may be stuck in loops of negative thinking. But awareness is power. The more we understand how our minds work, the better we can catch these patterns, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and shift toward a more balanced mindset.  Not every thought deserves our attention, so why not be intentional about which ones we listen to? Read the Article Here    How Your Brain Blocks Unwanted Thoughts Ever had a thought that just wouldn’t leave you alone?  Maybe it was something embarrassing you said years ago, or a worry that keeps creeping in at the worst moments.  It turns out, our brains have a built-in system to shut down intrusive thoughts – but sometimes, that system doesn’t work as well as it should.  Researchers at the University of Cambridge discovered that a neurotransmitter called GABA (gamma-aminobutyric acid) plays a key role in suppressing unwanted thoughts.  GABA is the brain’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter, meaning it helps calm neural activity. The study found that individuals with higher levels of GABA in the hippocampus (the brain’s memory center) were better at stopping intrusive thoughts. This breakthrough helps explain why people with anxiety, PTSD, depression, and schizophrenia often experience persistent, distressing thoughts.  These conditions are linked to impaired inhibitory control, meaning the brain struggles to shut down unwanted thoughts, memories, or worries.  Why Is This Important? Your brain isn’t just a storage unit for memories, it’s actively managing which thoughts surface and which get filtered out.  If you’ve ever struggled with intrusive thoughts (whether it’s worrying about the future, replaying past mistakes, or dealing with unwanted memories) this research can help explain why that happens. The ability to mentally “hit the brakes” depends on how well the brain can regulate thought processes, and GABA plays a critical role in this. In short, the way we think is shaped by our brain chemistry. How You Can Enhance GABA Activity? Slow, controlled breathing (e.g., diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing) can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, which enhances GABA activity. Aerobic exercise (like walking, running, or yoga) boosts GABA production and helps regulate stress responses. Read the Article Here.   How Your Brain Filters Out Distractions to Focus Ever walk into a room and instantly forget why you’re there? Or try to focus on a conversation but get distracted by everything else happening around you? … your brain is constantly sorting through information to keep you on track. Researchers at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology discovered that our brains use different frequencies of gamma waves to separate important details from background noise.  Slow gamma waves help recall memories, while fast gamma waves process what’s happening around us.  This natural “tuning system” allows us to block out distractions and focus on the task at hand. Why is This Important? If your thoughts feel chaotic, pause and become aware of them – are you stuck in past memories, or are you focused on the present?  If you need clarity, remove distractions and consciously direct your attention to one thing at a time.  Understanding how your brain filters thoughts helps you take charge of them, so you’re not just reacting to whatever pops into your mind but actively shaping what you think about.   Read the Article Here Final Thoughts (Pun Intended) “There’s nothing in this world that can hurt you as much as your thoughts … There’s nothing in this world that can heal you as much as your thoughts”  (Anonymous)

It’s 6 PM on a Wednesday, and you’re staring at your screen, and you feel like your brain has turned to mush. The thought of checking one more email makes you want to throw your laptop out the window. You might think: “I’m so burned out”. But are you really?   We tend to use the word “burnout” on a daily basis, but sometimes, it might not be burnout at all – but just plain exhaustion. The difference isn’t just semantic, it could be the key to getting your spark back.   As a mental health professional, I’m going to let you in on something crucial: understanding whether you’re burned out or just exhausted can completely change how you recover.   It’s like having a headache versus a migraine. They might feel similar, but they need very different treatments. Understanding the stages of burnout and recognizing early warning signs can make a significant difference in your recovery journey. Recent systematic review and meta-analysis studies show that early intervention is key.   What’s Actually Happening to You? The relationship between burnout and exhaustion isn’t always clear. Let’s break it down: What is Burnout? Job burnout and chronic stress often develop gradually. Remember that plant you forgot to water for weeks, and now it’s looking sadly droopy? Exhaustion is like that plant needing a good drink of water.   Burnout? That’s the plant that’s been sitting in the wrong soil, wrong light, and wrong environment for months. Simply watering it won’t solve the problem.   The effects of burnout also run deep – it’s a state of deep state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion that sneaks up on you over time.    It’s not just about feeling emotionally drained. It’s about losing your sense of purpose, feeling increasingly cynical, and wondering if anything you do actually matters. Your attitude towards work and life can shift dramatically. But signs of burnout appear differently for everyone. Burnout can also impact your physical and mental health in ways that aren’t immediately obvious. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be hard to distinguish between temporary stress and deeper issues. What is Exhaustion? When you feel exhausted, think of it as your body’s version of a low battery warning. Your productivity drops because you’ve been running too many apps for too long, and now you need to plug in and recharge.    Think of exhaustion as your body’s version of a low battery warning. You’ve been running too many apps for too long, and now you need to plug in and recharge.  The good news? Unlike habitual burnout, exhaustion is your body’s normal response to doing too much, and it’s usually fixable with proper rest. How to Tell The Difference Burnout often manifests differently from simple tiredness. The key difference lies in how you feel after rest. With exhaustion, a good weekend of rest, proper sleep, and disconnecting from stress at work can help relieve your symptoms.    To overcome burnout, however, you need more than just a good night’s sleep or vacation. You might come back from two weeks off and still disengage from work, feeling that same sense of dread and emptiness about your occupational responsibilities.    Another major difference is how you feel about your activities. When you’re exhausted, you might be too tired to do things, but you still care about them.   With burnout, you might notice yourself becoming cynical, detached, or feeling like nothing you do matters anymore. The road to burnout is often gradual, while exhaustion caused by temporary overload can feel sudden and intense. Understanding this difference is crucial for choosing the right recovery approach.   Which One Are You Dealing With? Let’s play detective with your symptoms. Grab a coffee (or better yet, a calming tea), and let’s figure this out together. Ask yourself these questions and be very honest because your recovery depends on it. Burnout may look different for each person, but there are common patterns to watch for. Overwhelming stress can put anyone at risk for burnout, but certain factors make some people more susceptible than others.   Questions to Ask Yourself: Burnout or Exhaustion? Different personality traits can influence how you experience these symptoms.    Take a moment to reflect on these questions. Keep in mind that there are no right or wrong answers, just insights into what you might be experiencing:   About Your Rest Patterns: When you get proper rest, do you feel better the next day, or does the heaviness persist regardless of how much you sleep? After a weekend off, do you feel somewhat recharged, or do you feel just as empty as before? When you take a vacation, does the thought of returning make you feel refreshed or fill you with dread? About Your Emotions: Are you just physically tired, or do you feel emotionally numb? Do you still find joy in activities you usually love, even if you’re too tired to do them right now? Has your sense of humor disappeared, or are you just too tired to laugh?   About Your Motivation: Do you still care about the quality of your work but feel too tired to perform at your best? Have you become cynical about your work, feeling like nothing you do matters anymore? Can you imagine feeling better once this busy period passes, or does it feel like there’s no end in sight?   About Your Daily Life: Are you procrastinating because you’re too tired, or because you’ve stopped caring altogether? Do you feel overwhelmed by tasks but still want to complete them, or have you become detached from all responsibilities? Are your current struggles related to a specific busy period, or have they become your constant state of being?   If your answers lean toward temporary tiredness with moments of relief after rest, you’re likely dealing with exhaustion.   However, if you’re experiencing persistent emotional numbness, cynicism, and a sense of hopelessness that doesn’t improve with rest, you might be experiencing burnout.   Keep in mind! This self-assessment isn’t a diagnostic tool, but rather a way to better understand your current state. Understanding the relationship between burnout and exhaustion is crucial for recovery. While these conditions can overlap, they require different coping strategy approaches. Your Recovery Roadmap At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we like to refer to this as the RESET Roadmap. If you’ve made it this far, you probably have a better idea of what you’re dealing with. Here are a few tips, depending on your situation: Tips for Managing Exhaustion Reset Your Sleep Schedule Don’t just crash on the weekend. Try to establish a consistent sleep routine that gives you 7-9 hours of rest each night. Your body will thank you for the regularity. Set Better Boundaries Learn to say “no” to non-essential tasks when you’re already stretched thin. It’s okay to postpone that coffee catch-up or reschedule that optional meeting when you need to recharge. Take Strategic Breaks Don’t wait until you’re completely drained. Take short breaks throughout your day – even 10 minutes of fresh air or a brief walk can help maintain your energy levels. Tips for Addressing Burnout Symptoms To prevent burnout and address its root causes, consider these strategies:  Evaluate Your Situation First, identify your primary stressor. Take an honest look at what’s causing your burnout. Is it your workload? Lack of recognition? Misalignment with your values? Understanding the root cause is crucial for making meaningful changes. Make Changes Unlike exhaustion, burnout usually requires bigger life changes. This might mean having a serious conversation with your supervisor, changing roles, or even switching careers. Seek Professional Support To recover from burnout, consider talking to a mental health professional who can help you develop coping strategies and guide you through this challenging period. Recognizing whether you’re experiencing burnout or exhaustion is the first step toward recovery. If you’re just exhausted, some rest and better boundaries might be all you need. But if you’re dealing with burnout, you need to acknowledge that quick fixes won’t solve the problem. You’ll need to make more substantial changes to restore your wellbeing.   Most importantly, neither condition should be ignored. Whether it’s burnout or exhaustion, your body and mind are telling you something important.    At Get Reconnected, we see burnout as a great teacher. In sessions, we help all our clients to figure out what it is trying to tell them?   The truth is, whether you’re dealing with burnout or exhaustion, recognizing it is half the battle. The other half? Taking action before that Wednesday evening meltdown becomes your daily reality.   What I’ve learned from years of helping people through both burnout and exhaustion is this: recovery is always possible. The key is knowing what you’re dealing with and taking the right steps to address it.   While this guide can help you understand what you’re experiencing, a mental health professional can provide personalized support and strategies tailored to your situation.   At Get Reconnected, we specialize in stress and burnout recovery and we’re here to help you navigate burnout and exhaustion. Book a Free Consultation.

We’ve all heard the term “mindfulness,” and it can feel like just another buzzword. But mindfulness is much more than that. It’s a practice that everyone can benefit from, no matter your age or background. In a nutshell, mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment with acceptance and without judgment. The word mindfulness originates from the Sanskrit word smriti, which means to remember. Mindfulness can be thought of as remembering to come back to the present moment. It’s about being fully aware of what you’re doing, feeling, or thinking, without letting your mind wander into negative spirals or judgment. For example, if you catch yourself thinking about something stressful or upsetting, mindfulness allows you to pause and say, I notice that my mind is going there. This moment of awareness gives you the opportunity to redirect your focus to the here and now. Benefits of Mindfulness Mindfulness isn’t just about slowing down, it’s about changing how you experience life. We’ve written a blog that touches on all the incredible benefits it offers. From reducing anxiety and depression to boosting your immune system and protecting your brain from stress and aging, mindfulness can truly change your life. It can help you feel calmer, improve focus, and even improve your sleep by quieting that mental chatter at night. If you’re curious about how this simple practice can make such a big difference, check out our blog on the Benefits of Mindfulness to learn more! Why Is This Important? Life moves fast, and we often get stuck in autopilot, constantly reacting to stress and distractions without a moment to breathe. Mindfulness is important because it offers a way to step out of this cycle. Read the Article Here. New Research Shows Mindfulness Can Reduce Impulsivity Have you ever reacted in the heat of the moment and instantly wished you could take it back? Maybe you said something hurtful or made a rash decision. Research shows that mindfulness can help you slow down and think before you act, giving you the chance to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively. It’s not about being perfect or always calm but about creating a little space that allows you to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. Read the Article Here. Why Is This Important? We live in a fast-paced world where stress and quick reactions are the norm. Without being mindful, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected from how we truly want to respond. Mindfulness helps you step off autopilot.  Read the Article Here.   How to Practice Mindfulness Meditation The truth is, we all practice mindfulness in different ways, even if we don’t realize it. Think about when you’re cooking a meal and completely focused on chopping the vegetables just right, or when you’re fixing something around the house and paying attention to every detail. Maybe you’ve been absorbed in a great book, losing track of time and feeling fully immersed in the story. This is all informal mindfulness—those everyday activities where we naturally focus on the present moment without forcing it. For the next month, set an intention to do something more mindfully. For example, drink your morning coffee more mindfully. Notice how hot the cup feels in your hands, the smell of the coffee, the taste, how it feels as you drink it, and when your mind drifts to something else. Catching yourself and gently bringing your focus back is part of the practice.  Another way to build mindfulness is through formal practice. Here’s a quick way to start: 5-minute guided mindfulness meditation.  Find a quiet spot, get comfortable, and give yourself these few minutes to reconnect with the present. Watch the 5-Minute Mindfulness Meditation

Do you ever feel unsure if it’s ADHD or Anxiety causing your struggles? These conditions can share similar symptoms, which often makes it hard to tell the difference. Sometimes, anxiety gets mistaken for ADHD, or ADHD is misunderstood as anxiety. To make things more complicated, sometimes anxiety gets mistaken for ADHD, or the other way around. For some, anxiety and ADHD can occur together, making life even more challenging. So, how do you know the difference? In this blog, we’ll break down what ADHD and anxiety are, their similarities, and their differences – so you can better understand what might be going on and what steps you can take to address it.   What is Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)? Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, commonly known as ADHD, is a neurodevelopmental condition. It affects how the brain focuses, organizes, and controls impulses. People with ADHD often describe feeling scattered or overwhelmed by tasks. It’s not just a matter of being forgetful or distracted, ADHD can cause significant challenges in daily life. While ADHD may begin in childhood, some individuals don’t realize they have it until they’re adults. Adults with ADHD might notice difficulties with work, managing time, or keeping up with responsibilities.   Common ADHD Symptoms Symptoms of ADHD include three main categories: 1)    Inattention You forget things a lot like instructions, important dates, or deadlines You misplace items (keys, phone, etc.) It’s hard to finish tasks or stay organized You make simple mistakes in your work You have trouble focusing during long meetings, lectures, or reading You get distracted easily or can’t stick to a plan 2)    Hyperactivity You fidget a lot, constantly tap or your hands or feet, or can’t sit still You talk a lot, even when it’s not the time for it, or go off on a different tangent while speaking You constantly need to move around You struggle with quiet activities like reading or watching a movie If you’re a kid, you might run or climb when it’s not appropriate You find it hard to stay seated, even when you’re supposed to     3)    Impulsivity You have trouble waiting your turn or waiting in line  You blurt out answers before someone finishes asking a question You might spend money on things you don’t need without thinking it through What is Anxiety? Anxiety may feel like an ongoing sense of worry or fear. It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes, like right before a big test or job interview. But when anxiety can cause constant stress, even in non-threatening situations, it might be a disorder. People with anxiety often feel overwhelmed by “what if” thoughts, making it difficult to focus or relax. Anxiety makes you feel like something bad is about to happen – even when there’s no real danger.   Types of Anxiety Disorders Anxiety can come in many types, including: Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Panic Disorder Specific Phobias Social Anxiety Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Agoraphobia Separation Anxiety Disorder (SAD) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) But at its core, anxiety is driven by fear, and it’s often accompanied by intense worry about the future or what might go wrong.   Common Symptoms of Anxiety Disorders Anxiety symptoms can be both psychological and physical: Psychological signs: • Worrying all the time, even about small things • Feeling like something bad will happen • Struggling to focus or concentrate • Feeling restless, tense, or easily irritated • Not being able to sleep because your mind won’t quiet down Physical signs: • Feeling tired or drained • Racing heart or shortness of breath • Stomach issues like nausea or feeling sick • Trembling or shaking • Excessive sweating or feeling overheated • Feeling lightheaded or dizzy • Tightness in the chest or throat • Headaches • Stiff or sore muscles   How Are Anxiety and ADHD Similar? ADHD and Anxiety can look alike in some ways: Trouble Focusing – ADHD makes it hard to focus due to inattention, while Anxiety causes distracting worries. Restlessness – ADHD can make you feel restless, while Anxiety creates an inner sense of tension. Disruptions in Daily Life – Both ADHD and Anxiety can make it hard to manage tasks, work, or relationships.   How To Tell the Difference Between ADHD and Anxiety Here’s the key: the reasons behind the symptoms are different. ADHD is about focus and impulses. For example, adult ADHD may cause someone to forget deadlines or jump from one task to another. Anxiety is about fear and worry. In contrast, people with anxiety might spend hours overthinking decisions or fearing failure.   Hypothetical Example: Alex vs. Sara Alex struggles to meet deadlines at work. he procrastinates and finds himself jumping between tasks. He starts a project, then decides to grab coffee, and somehow ends up cleaning his kitchen instead. This is ADHD in action. Alex’s brain has trouble staying focused on organized. Treatment for ADHD might include therapy, coaching, or medication to improve focus and structure. Sara is also behind on her deadlines, but for a different reason. Every time she starts her presentation, she worries it won’t be good enough. Her chest feels tight, her heart races, and she keeps re-reading the same slide. This is Anxiety. Sara’s fear of failure keeps her stuck. Anxiety may improve with techniques like mindfulness, therapy, or relaxation exercises. Both Alex and Sara struggle with work tasks, but their experiences and solutions are completely different. It is also possible to have both. This is known as ADHD and comorbid anxiety. The overlap can make it even harder to manage daily life. For example: ADHD can cause someone to forget deadlines, which might trigger anxiety about falling behind. Anxiety might make someone second-guess their choices, which can worsen ADHD-related inattention.   Reach Out for a Free Consultation The good news? ADHD and anxiety are both manageable. With the right support, you can find ways to cope and thrive. A mental health professional can help you figure out what’s going on and create a plan that works for you. At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we’re here to help you navigate your challenges, figure out what’s going on, and find the right strategies to feel better. Contact us today for a free 15-minute consultation to see how we can help you start feeling better.

What Happens When You Sleep If you have a brain, chances are you need to sleep. It is a biological necessity we share with all animals and can change how well we function, respond, act and heal. There is evidence that shows that almost every choice we make during the day can affect sleep: from the food we eat, vitamins, substances we ingest (e.g., caffeine), daily habits, etc. You probably know that you need sleep but sometimes it’s hard to explain why quality of sleep is so important to focus on. Sleep plays a huge role in keeping us healthy, and the 5Rs—Refresh, Renew, Restore, Regenerate, and Reconfigure—help explain why. Sleep refreshes your mind and body by clearing out waste and giving your brain a chance to reset. It renews your physical health by helping your muscles heal, boosting your immune system, and recharging your energy. Sleep restores your emotional balance by helping you process memories and manage your mood. During deep sleep, your body regenerates by repairing and growing cells. Finally, sleep reconfigures your brain, making it easier to learn new things and come up with creative ideas. Understanding the importance of sleep can help us make choices that improve it. There is a reason it’s prescribed by healthcare practitioners and therapists everywhere as one of the backbones to a better life!   The Science Behind Sleep Sleep may seem like a quiet, inactive state, but it’s actually a busy and dynamic process. During non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep, your body slows down its energy use, which helps boost your immune system and repair cells. On the other hand, rapid eye movement (REM) sleep is when your brain works on processing emotions and storing memories. Together, these stages of sleep help you recharge and get ready for the challenges of everyday life. Sleep patterns in the animal kingdom show just how universal sleep is. Even though sleeping makes animals vulnerable, every species sleeps or has some form of rest. One idea from evolution, called the energy conservation hypothesis, suggests that sleep helps animals save energy by lowering their metabolism and body temperature. You can see this in smaller animals, which have faster metabolisms and need more sleep compared to larger animals. Hibernation takes this idea even further. Many animals conserve energy during cold months by dramatically slowing down their metabolism. Recognizing how important and widespread sleep is reminds us to prioritize it in our own lives. Sleep isn’t just a basic need – it’s essential for healing, growth, and thriving in all areas of life.   How Does Sleep Work? Even though sleep seems like a time when the brain shuts down, it’s actually very active. While you sleep, your brain sorts through the events of the day, deciding which memories to keep and which to let go. The deeper stages of sleep, especially NREM sleep, help lock in facts and skills you’ve learned. REM sleep, on the other hand, focuses on processing emotions and keeping your mood balanced. Sleep also acts like a cleaning crew for the brain. As you sleep, your brain cells shrink, making space for toxins and harmful proteins to be flushed out through the glymphatic system. This process helps keep your brain healthy and sharp. Meanwhile, your body goes through physical repairs – muscles relax, growth hormones are released, and tissues throughout your body are restored. Sleep does more than just support your brain — it’s crucial for your whole body, especially your immune system. While you sleep, your body produces T-cells that help fight infections. Sleep also regulates hormones like leptin and ghrelin, which manage hunger and fullness, making it easier to maintain a healthy weight. Even your skin benefits from sleep, as antioxidants are released to repair damage and reduce inflammation, which is often referred to as “beauty sleep”. Sleep isn’t just about resting, it’s an active process that keeps so many important functions running smoothly — things we often rely on without even realizing it.   Quantifying sleep: How much is enough? When it comes to sleep, the question is: How much is enough? Sleep needs vary depending on age, and getting the right amount helps us function at our best. Adults generally need 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Older adults (65 and up) might need a little less and often make up for it with naps. Teenagers, who are still growing and developing, need 8 to 10 hours of sleep. They also naturally tend to stay up later at night and sleep later in the morning. Sleep is especially important for children as it supports their growth and development. School-aged children (6 to 12 years old) need 9 to 12 hours of sleep each night. Toddlers (3 to 5 years old) need between 10 and 13 hours, including naps. Infants (4 to 12 months old) benefit from 12 to 16 hours of sleep, including nap time. These sleep guidelines matter because not getting enough rest can affect a child’s cognitive development, emotion regulation, and overall physical health. What about “just 5 more minutes” of sleep, as we make pleas with our spouse, partner, parent or alarm clock? It may feel harmless, but it can actually disrupt your sleep cycle. Sleep cycles last about 90 minutes and go through different stages of sleep. When you hit the snooze button, you may begin a new cycle and then wake up before completing it, leaving you feeling groggy and less refreshed. It’s better to aim for a consistent sleep schedule and avoid interruptions that prevent your body from completing its full cycles.   Sleep Stages Sleep is divided into two main categories: REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep and non-REM sleep. Non-REM sleep itself is divided into three stages: N1, N2, and N3. Each stage is defined by different brain wave patterns and physiological processes.   N1 (Stage 1) is the lightest stage, the transition from wakefulness to sleep. This phase lasts 1 to 5 minutes and is characterized by relaxed muscles and occasional twitching.   N2 (Stage 2) represents a deeper level of sleep where your body temperature drops, and your heart rate and breathing become more regular. In this stage, the brain produces bursts of electrical activity, known as sleep spindles, which help resist external disturbances. You’ll spend about half of your night in N2.   N3 (Stage 3), also known as slow-wave sleep or deep sleep, is the most restorative stage. It plays a key role in repairing tissues, boosting the immune system, and supporting brain functions like memory and creativity.   REM sleep happens in cycles throughout the night and is marked by rapid eye movements and vivid dreams. During this stage, your brain is highly active, while your muscles temporarily become paralyzed to prevent you from acting out your dreams. Each stage of sleep serves a unique purpose. Non-REM sleep helps with physical recovery, growth, strengthening the immune system, and storing memories. REM sleep is crucial for mental tasks like problem-solving, learning, and processing emotions. Together, these stages work together to ensure that both the body and mind are rejuvenated. How Can You Tell If Your Sleep is Efficient? Sleep efficiency refers to the ratio of time spent asleep to the total time spent in bed. Ideally, you want a sleep efficiency of around 85% to 90%. A high sleep efficiency means you are getting the most restorative rest possible. One way to track sleep efficiency is by using a sleep tracker like a Fitbit. If you don’t have a tracker, you can estimate your sleep efficiency manually by following these steps: Note the time you go to bed and the time you wake up. Subtract the time it took you to fall asleep (if any). Count how many times you woke up during the night and estimate the total time spent awake. Calculate the total sleep time and divide it by the total time spent in bed. For example, if you spend 7 hours in bed but only manage 6.5 hours of sleep due to wakefulness or tossing and turning, your sleep efficiency is about 93%. The goal is to improve this ratio by minimizing disruptions and ensuring a more restful sleep experience. Improving sleep quality can involve making simple changes, such as establishing a consistent bedtime, reducing screen time before bed, or engaging in relaxation techniques like meditation or progressive muscle relaxation. Monitoring your sleep efficiency over time can help you track progress and refine your sleep habits for better health and well-being.   The Theories Behind Sleep Evolutionary theories suggest that sleep evolved to conserve energy, with NREM sleep lowering metabolism and body temperature. However, studies show that the energy saved during sleep is minimal (equivalent to a stick of celery!) making it unlikely to be the sole reason we sleep. Interestingly, REM sleep, which shows brain activity similar to when you’re awake, actually uses more energy. This challenges the idea that sleep is just about saving energy.   Key Takeaways Sleep is more than just rest … It’s a complex and active process essential for keeping your mind and body in top shape. Each stage of sleep plays a unique role in cognitive function, emotional balance, physical recovery, and overall well-being. From strengthening the immune system and clearing out toxins to helping us manage emotions and lock in new memories, sleep supports nearly every aspect of our health. Prioritizing quality sleep isn’t a luxury, it’s a fundamental part of living a healthier, more resilient life.

Emotions are a big part of what it means to be human. They shape how we see the world, how we make decisions, and how we connect with others. Sometimes, they bring us joy and clarity, and other times, they leave us feeling stuck or overwhelmed. This month, we’re exploring how emotions affect both the brain and body. Understanding what emotions do and how they work can help us make sense of these experiences and take better care of ourselves. How to Understand Emotions |Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett | Huberman Lab Podcast In the Huberman Lab Podcast episode with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, “How to Understand Emotions,” Dr. Barrett, a psychology professor at Northeastern University, discusses the science behind emotions. She explains that emotions are not universal reactions but are constructed by our brains, integrating signals from our bodies and surroundings. This means that what we feel is influenced by our personal experiences and cultural backgrounds. She also highlights the importance of language in shaping our emotional experiences and offers practical tools for better understanding and managing our emotions. Dr. Barrett’s insights challenge us to rethink our understanding of emotions, recognizing the significant influence of language, culture, and personal history in shaping our emotional lives. Watch the Full Episode Here.   How Emotions Shape the Brain Did you know your emotions affect your entire brain, not just one part? Whether it’s happiness or stress, emotions create a ripple effect and influences how different regions of the brain interact and function. Research shows that emotional states—positive or negative—impact key areas like the amygdala, which processes emotions and triggers responses, and the prefrontal cortex, which handles decision-making and focus. Stressful emotions can impair clear thinking, while positive emotions strengthen these functions. The hippocampus, responsible for memory, is also affected. Negative emotions, like chronic stress, can disrupt memory and learning, whereas positive feelings enhance these abilities. Even the brainstem, which regulates vital functions, reacts to emotional states, with stress speeding up heart rate and breathing, while positivity promotes relaxation. Why Is This Important? Understanding how emotions influence the brain can help us manage them more effectively, improving clarity, focus, and resilience. Addressing emotional challenges early can prevent their ripple effects, leading to better mental and physical well-being. Read the Article Here.   The Brain-Body Connection: How Emotions Shape Us Our emotions are far more powerful than they appear, they influence not just how we think but also how we feel physically. Recent research reveals that emotions don’t just affect isolated parts of the brain but instead impact its entire operation. The amygdala, for example, processes emotions like fear or happiness and activates responses that ripple throughout the brain, shaping how we think, act, and remember. But the story doesn’t stop at the brain. Emotions also leave a physical imprint on the body, creating unique sensations in specific areas. For instance, joy might feel like warmth spreading through the chest, while anger might manifest as heat in the head or tension in the hands. Researchers have even mapped these emotional “hotspots,” showing how tightly linked our emotions are to our physical sensations. Why Is This Important? These findings emphasize the deep mind-body connection. Emotions don’t just stay in your head – they affect your entire being. By understanding how emotions influence both brain function and physical sensations, we can better manage stress, improve mental health, and care for our overall well-being. When you feel tension in your chest or butterflies in your stomach, it’s your body and brain working together to communicate how you feel. Recognizing this connection is a step toward better self-awareness and healthier emotional responses. As the year comes to a close, take time to reflect on how your emotions have shaped not just your thoughts but also your physical health. It’s a good reminder that caring for your emotional well-being means caring for your whole self. Read the article here.

If you’ve ever heard these terms and felt confused, you’re not alone. Most people hear these terms and do not know what the differences are. It can feel like everyone’s speaking the same language but using different words. It’s easy to wonder, why does it have to be so complicated? In this blog, we’ll clear up the confusion. We’ll explain what each professional does, their education and training, and what you can expect when you see a psychologist, psychotherapist, or psychiatrist. Imagine you’re struggling with something in your life. It could be anxiety, a tough relationship, or just feeling stuck. Who should you seek out then? A psychiatrist? Psychologist? Or a Psychotherapist? The good news is that these professionals are all working towards the same goal: helping you feel better by working with you to navigate life’s challenges through talk therapy and/or medications. Type of Mental Health Professionals Psychiatrists Psychiatrists are medical doctors of the mental health world. They’ve gone through medical school and specialized in understanding how the brain works from a medical perspective. If you’re dealing with more complex mental health disorders like severe depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, a psychiatry referral would be the go-to professional. They can diagnose and treat mental health conditions and prescribe medication. What’s the difference between psychiatrists and psychologists? The primary distinction lies in their ability to prescribe medication and their focus on medical treatment. Psychologists Psychologists are like detailed investigators of human behaviour. They have advanced degrees (often a doctoral degree like a PhD or PsyD) and a degree in psychology. These professionals specialize in understanding the differences in how people think, feel, and behave. A clinical psychologist can provide comprehensive psychological testing and diagnose and treat mental health disorders. Psychologists are trained in cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and other evidence-based methods to help you understand patterns in your life. Unlike psychiatrists, psychologists do not prescribe medication. Instead, they can provide assessments and psychotherapy with a focus on helping you manage emotional responses and change problematic behaviours. They can help guide you on how to move out of the patterns that keep you stuck. Psychotherapists Psychotherapists are a broad category of professionals trained in psychotherapy and counselling. They usually have a Master’s degree and specialization in mental health support. A psychotherapist may also be social work professionals, counsellors, or couples and family therapists. Psychotherapists provide ongoing support to help you process emotions, develop coping strategies, and navigate personal challenges. They can also provide therapy for specific mental health disorders through evidence based methods. If you need someone to help you work through emotional patterns, transitions, or stress, a psychotherapist is an excellent choice. In Ontario, psychotherapists play an essential role in supporting mental health needs, often collaborating with other professionals. How These Professionals Work Together Let’s say you’re struggling with depression. A psychiatrist might assess your condition and potentially prescribe medication to help balance your brain chemistry. A clinical psychologist might do comprehensive testing to understand the depth and nature of your depression and can provide a diagnosis. A psychotherapist would provide ongoing support, helping you develop coping strategies and work through the emotional aspects of your experience. These professionals also provide support in different ways, but the goal remains the same: to help you understand yourself better and improve your mental health. Choosing the Right Mental Health Professional Many people benefit from a combination of approaches. Maybe you’re seeing a psychiatrist for medication management, while also seeing a psychotherapist for weekly support. It is basically having a team of experts all focused on helping you become the best version of yourself. When considering the difference between psychiatrists, psychologists, and psychotherapists, it is important to reflect on your specific needs. Choosing the right professional is personal. It’s about finding someone you feel comfortable with, who understands your specific needs, and who can provide the type of support that works best for you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, have initial consultations, and find the right fit. Your mental health journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. At the end of the day, whether it’s a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychotherapist, the goal is the same: to support you in understanding yourself better, developing healthier coping mechanisms, and living a more fulfilling life. Reach Out for a Free Consultation At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we are a team of psychotherapists, intern therapists, and a psychologist, each specializing in specific areas such as ADHD, phobias, infertility, burnout, relationship difficulties, among others. We also collaborate with Psychotherapy Matters where we can consult with psychiatrists on your unique symptoms. Reach out to us for a free 15-minute consultation to find out how we can help.

The holiday season is supposed to be filled with joy, family, and celebration. But when you’re dealing with infertility, it can feel like walking through a minefield of emotions, awkward conversations, and unspoken pain. I’ve supported many clients going through infertility, and I understand how overwhelming this time of year can be. Family gatherings can be tough when you’re still on the train of trying to conceive. There’s always an uncle or aunt asking when you’re going to start a family, cousins showing off their adorable children, and what seems like endless conversations about pregnancy and babies. It can feel like you’re constantly dodging emotional landmines at holiday events and family events. It’s no wonder many couples struggling with infertility feel like victims of the holiday blues. Here are 7 Tips In Coping With Infertility During the Holidays 1. Emotional Preparation is Key It’s Okay to Not Be Okay First things first, your feelings are valid. Whether you’re experiencing a mix of sadness, resentment, jealousy, anger, grief, these emotions you’re experiencing are completely normal. The pain of infertility is a profound loss, and the holidays may amplify those feelings. Give yourself permission to feel it all. There’s no ‘right’ way to handle this, and it’s okay if you’re not feeling the holiday spirit.  2. Set Boundaries Before you step into any gathering, have an honest conversation with your partner about what feels right for both of you. Decide together: How much you’re willing to share Who knows about your fertility journey A secret signal if you need to exit a conversation or room Create a game plan. Maybe that means having a code word that tells your partner you need a break, or pre-planning an exit strategy for uncomfortable moments. 3. It’s Okay to Say No You don’t have to go to every single event and say ‘yes’ to every invitation. It’s okay to be selective about accepting invitations to parties and holiday celebrations. If a certain event feels too difficult, give yourself permission to decline. It’s okay to skip gatherings that will drain you or bring up too much pain. You are not obligated to attend every gathering. If a gathering feels too overwhelming, it’s perfectly acceptable to: Decline the invitation Attend for a shorter time Bring a supportive partner or friend Create your own alternative celebration 4. Prepare for The Awkward Questions Certain questions from well-meaning relatives can be tough. When someone asks, “When are you going to get pregnant?” or “You don’t want to have kids?” or hints at you starting a family, it can feel like a punch to the gut. Preparing a few responses ahead of time can help you feel more confident. You might say: “We’re just enjoying our time together right now”, or “We’ll share news when we’re ready”. If you need to, don’t hesitate to redirect the conversation. A simple “Let’s change the subject and talk about something else” can save you from further discomfort. Practicing these responses can help you feel ready when the moment comes. 5. Create New Traditions That Bring You Joy Infertility doesn’t have to define your holiday experience. This could be the time to create new traditions that bring you joy or feel good to you. Maybe you volunteer at a local charity, plan a trip with your partner, or start a new hobby. You can also build in self-care rituals, like a long walk, a cozy night with a favourite style movie, or whatever fills your cup. These are wonderful ways to feel grounded and connected to yourself while navigating infertility around the holidays. Small moments of joy can go a long way in helping you get through the holidays. 6. Support Matters – For Both Of You Don ‘t forget that you’re not alone in this. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. Be open about your frustrations, fears, and hopes. Many couples struggling with infertility feel the weight of this journey together. For men, especially, it’s okay to acknowledge feelings of grief, inadequacy, or frustration. Infertility isn’t just a “woman’s issue”, and both of you deserve infertility support. Talking to a fertility specialist or joining a support group may be a good way to help both of you process this life crisis. 7. Self-Care is Much Needed Self-care is essential during this time. Limit social media if seeing pregnancy announcements or family photos feels painful. Make time to move your body, practice mindfulness, and get the sleep you need. Let yourself grieve if you need to, and don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself. Remember: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your choices or your feelings. Final Thoughts This holiday season might feel impossibly hard, and that’s okay! You are not defined by your ability to conceive. Your worth is not tied to anyone’s expectations. Your family is whatever you define it to be. Some days will be harder than others. Some moments will bring tears. Others might surprise you with joy. All of it is valid. Wishing you gentleness, compassion, and moments of peace this holiday season.

Infertility can leave you feeling like the ground has been pulled out from under you. It’s not just about not being able to get pregnant —it’s the loss of the life you pictured, the dreams you nurtured, and the milestones you thought were certain. The grief of infertility is messy, complicated, and deeply personal. While everyone’s journey is different, there are common stages that many people experience. Here’s a look at what those nine grief stages can feel like. Infertility Grief 1. Shock Hearing the words “infertility” for the first time feels like someone hit pause on your world. It’s surreal. This can’t be real, right? There’s this moment where your brain struggles to catch up with the idea that something you assumed would just happen is now in question. Everything feels frozen. What Can You Do? Give yourself time to process. When you first hear the diagnosis or face the reality, it’s normal to not have all the answers. Sit with it, let it sink in. You don’t have to “fix” it right away. Journaling or even just taking a quiet walk can help you start making sense of the chaos in your head. 2. Denial Maybe the doctor’s wrong. Maybe it’s just stress. Maybe next month will be different. You hold onto every shred of hope that this is temporary. Googling miracle stories and success after failed attempts becomes second nature. You’re not ready to believe this is really happening to you. What Can You Do?  Balance hope with facts. Grief is a complex process, and it’s natural to cling to hope. But don’t get stuck in endless “maybe ifs.” It’s helpful to talk to your doctor, friend, or a fertility counsellor about realistic options. Having a plan—even a rough one—can help you feel like you’re taking control without losing sight of reality. 3. Isolation Struggling with infertility has a way of making you feel like you’re on an island. Friends don’t understand, family doesn’t always say the right thing, and the last place you want to be is at a baby shower or scrolling through social media. It’s easier to avoid people than to explain or risk hearing well-meaning but hurtful comments like, “Just relax, and it’ll happen.” What Can You Do? Find your people. You don’t have to tell everyone, but talking to someone who gets it can be a lifeline. Join a support group (online or in-person) or connect with a therapist who specializes in infertility. Sometimes just hearing “me too” can make all the difference. 4. Anger The anger can feel overwhelming. It’s not just about being upset—it’s a rage at how unfair this is. Why does your body feel like it’s betraying you? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else? Why are you the one who has to go through this? Every pregnancy announcement and every casual comment about kids feels like a knife straight to your heart. What Can You Do? Let it out. Anger needs an outlet. Go for a run, scream into a pillow, or write an uncensored rant in a journal. Bottling it up doesn’t help. And if you find yourself snapping at loved ones, take a moment to explain what you’re feeling—it can stop misunderstandings before they start. 5. Bargaining This is the stage of what ifs and maybe if I just…. You dive into research mode, trying every diet, supplement, or fertility treatment that could possibly work. You start thinking, If I do X, maybe Y will happen. It’s exhausting, but it feels like the only way to keep hope alive. What Can You Do? Take breaks from the “what ifs.” It’s tempting to research every possible fertility option, but it can become overwhelming. Set boundaries for yourself—like only spending an hour a day researching—and make space for non-reproductive activities that bring you joy. 6. Guilt The guilt is relentless. You start replaying every decision you’ve ever made. Did I wait too long? Should I have gone to the doctor earlier? Did I do something wrong? Deep down, you know it’s not your fault, but the guilt doesn’t care. It just lingers, making an already hard situation feel heavier. What Can You Do? Be kind to yourself! Remind yourself that infertility is not your fault. Write down a list of things you did do right, like advocating for yourself or seeking help when you needed it. Whenever guilt creeps in, read the list and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can. 7. Depression There’s a point where the weight of it all feels like too much. The sadness seeps into everything. The things that used to bring you joy now feel meaningless. Month after month, the disappointment compounds, making it harder to stay hopeful. It’s hard to think about the future when all you can see is what you’ve lost. Even getting out of bed can feel like a struggle. What Can You Do? Focus on tiny steps! Depression can make even the smallest tasks feel impossible. Start small—get out of bed, take a shower, or go outside for five minutes. Celebrate those tiny wins. And if it feels too heavy to handle on your own, reach out to a therapist. There’s no shame in getting help. 8. Envy You don’t want to feel it, but the jealousy creeps in. Seeing pregnant friends, new babies, or even a family in a TV commercial can hit like a gut punch. It’s not that you’re not happy for them—it’s just that their happiness feels like a reminder of what you don’t have. What Can You Do? Set boundaries! It’s okay to say no to baby showers, skip scrolling through social media, or gently tell a friend you need a break from hearing about their pregnancy. Protect your energy. And remind yourself that feeling envy doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you human. 9. Acceptance Acceptance doesn’t mean everything’s okay. It doesn’t mean the pain is gone. It means you’ve started to make room for the grief without letting it completely consume you. Maybe you’re still trying treatments, or maybe you’re exploring other options like adoption or surrogacy. Acceptance is about finding a way to move forward, even if the path looks different than you imagined. What Can You Do? Define what acceptance looks like for you! Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up—it means figuring out how to move forward in a way that feels right for you. Maybe it’s continuing IVF treatments, exploring other paths to parenthood, or shifting focus to things outside of having kids. Whatever it is, let it be on your terms. Key Take Aways Infertility grief is heavy, but it’s not something you have to carry alone. Whether you’re cycling through these stages or feel stuck in one, know that there’s no “right” way to do this. Give yourself grace. Seek support when you need it. And remember, even in the hardest moments, hope has a way of finding you again. At Get Reconnected, Delia Petrescu specializes in the grief and stress that comes from struggling to conceive. Book a free 15-minute consultation so we can talk about how I can be of help!

Have you ever felt your heart racing, your palms sweating, and your body tensing up before you even realize what’s going on? That’s your fight or flight response at work. It’s your brain’s natural stress response (survival mechanism), preparing you to face danger—or escape from it. At the center of this incredible system is a tiny part of the brain called the amygdala. This amygdala is an almond-shaped structure that plays a big role in triggering your body’s alarm system, but it can sometimes overreact. Let’s look at how this response works, what happens when amygdala activation leads to a “hijack” and overreaction, and how understanding it can help you manage stress and anxiety. What Is the Fight or Flight Response? This is your body’s natural reaction to danger and it is designed to protect you from harm. When your brain senses a perceived threat, it prepares you to take action: fight, flee, or freeze. Imagine you’re walking in the woods and hear a rustling sound in the bushes. Before you even have time to think, your amygdala perceives a threat, then your heart is pounding, your muscles tense, and you’re ready to react. This automatic emotional response is your brain’s way of saying, “Get ready, something might be dangerous.” This is how it unfolds: Your senses pick up a possible threat (a noise, movement, or visual cue). This information travels to your amygdala, which acts as your brain’s alarm system. The amygdala triggers your hypothalamus, which sends signals to your body, activating the sympathetic nervous system. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood your system, speeding up your heart rate, sharpening your senses, and priming your muscles for action. The entire process happens in an instant, so fast that your logical response would take too long to weigh in. What Is an Amygdala Hijack? Sometimes, your amygdala reacts so strongly and quickly that it takes over, bypassing the logical part of your brain (the cortex). This is called an amygdala hijack, and it’s why you might overreact in situations that aren’t actually dangerous. Consider what happens if you walk into a dimly lit room and spot a dark shape on the wall. Before you can think, your body floods with adrenaline, convinced it’s a spider. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and you feel a wave of fear—only to realize a moment later that it’s just a smudge on the wall. Or imagine driving at night and seeing a shadow dart across the road. You slam on the brakes, your chest tightens, and your hands grip the wheel, only to realize it was just a branch blowing in the wind. In both cases, the amygdala hijack occurs and it prioritizes your safety over accuracy. While it can feel frustrating, this response evolved to protect you in life-or-death situations. The Role of the Amygdala The amygdala acts like your brain’s security system, always on the lookout for potential danger. It plays a crucial role in brain function, particularly in processing emotions and initiating survival responses. Located in the temporal lobe, the amygdala detects potential threats, such as a sudden movement or a loud noise, and sends an emergency alert to prepare your body for action. This process begins with your senses picking up the potential threat and sending the information to the thalamus, a relay station in your brain. From there, the thalamus quickly passes the information to the amygdala, which processes it much faster than your thinking brain, the cortex. The amygdala then activates your sympathetic nervous system, triggering the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones speed up your heart rate, heighten your senses, and prepare your muscles for fight, flight, or freeze. All of this happens in milliseconds, often before your logical brain has even had time to catch up. When the Fight or Flight Response Overreacts In our modern world, real physical dangers like wild animals are pretty rare occurrences. But your brain doesn’t always know that. Your brain can’t tell the difference between a looming deadline or an awkward conversation and an actual life-threatening situation. This is why your fight-or-flight response can sometimes feel overwhelming or unnecessary. If your amygdala is triggered too often, it can lead to chronic stress or anxiety, keeping your body in a heightened state of alert. Recognizing when this happens is the first step to managing it. How to Calm an Amygdala Hijack When you realize an amygdala hijack in your response, try the following strategies: Deep Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can help calm your nervous system, making sure you are letting your brain and body know that you are not in immediate danger. Mindfulness: Focusing on the present moment can help re-engage your cortex, allowing you to think more clearly. Challenge Your Thoughts: Ask yourself, “Is this really dangerous, or is my brain overreacting?” Progressive Relaxation: Tensing and releasing your muscles can reduce physical tension and help your body reset. Key Takeaways The fight or flight response is an incredible survival tool, and the amygdala is at the heart of it. While it’s designed to keep you safe, it doesn’t always get it right. So, the next time you find yourself jumping at a shadow or feeling overwhelmed by stress, remember: your brain’s just trying to protect you. And with the right tools, you can guide it back to calm. At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we specialize in anxiety and stress management. We take a trauma-informed approach to our treatment planning. Book a free 15-minute consultation so we can discuss how we can help.

As humans, relationships are at the heart of everything we do. Whether it’s with a co-worker, family member, significant other, or even your pet, we’re always in some kind of connection. Sometimes these relationships feel easy and natural, and other times they’re complicated and leave us wondering, “Why is this so hard?”   This month, we’re looking at attachment styles—the “relationship blueprint” we all develop early in life that influences how we connect with others, how we see ourselves, and how we respond to the people around us. Understanding Attachment Styles: What They Are and Why They Matter Did you know that the way we connect with others often comes from patterns we develop as children? These patterns, called attachment styles, shape how we navigate relationships as adults—whether we feel secure, anxious, or avoid getting too close. This blog explores the four attachment styles: secure and insecure (anxious, avoidant, and disorganized). Secure attachment means feeling comfortable with trust and closeness. Anxious attachment often involves fear of abandonment and a need for reassurance, while avoidant types tend to distance themselves when things get too close. Disorganized attachment combines anxious and avoidant behaviors. Why is this important? Understanding your attachment style can help explain your relationship patterns and guide you toward healthier connections. It’s not just about improving your relationships—it can also strengthen how you interact with friends, family, and coworkers. Read the Blog Here Insecure Attachment and Love Addiction Have you ever felt overly attached to someone or craved constant reassurance in a relationship? Research suggests that insecure attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment, might increase the risk of something called love addiction. This happens when someone becomes overly dependent on their partner, constantly seeking validation or fearing abandonment.   Researchers explored how people with insecure attachment struggle with obsessive behaviors in romantic relationships. They found that anxious attachment (where someone constantly worries about being left or feels “not good enough”) can lead to an unhealthy preoccupation with a partner. The study emphasizes that individuals with an anxious attachment style experience fear of rejection and a deep need for emotional closeness, which correlates with love addiction. Read Article Here The Relationship Between Partner Phubbing and Life Satisfaction: The Mediating Role of Relationship Satisfaction Have you ever been mid-conversation with someone, only for them to glance at their phone? That’s called phubbing—short for “phone snubbing”—and it’s becoming more common in relationships. According to a recent study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, phubbing can take a serious toll on romantic partnerships. The study found that when one partner is too focused on their phone, it can lead to feelings of being ignored, lower relationship satisfaction, and even arguments. And this can become even more challenging if one of the partners has an anxious attachment style as they are particularly sensitive to signs of disconnection and being ignored in favor of a device can feel like rejection or abandonment. This triggers heightened anxiety, a stronger need for reassurance, and often leads to conflict.   Why is this important? Because when we’re distracted by technology, we’re not fully present with the people we care about. How often do you find yourself doing this? Read Article Here

The Perfectionism-Burnout Connection Do you ever catch yourself thinking that working harder automatically means you’re doing really well? Societal and cultural expectations often ingrain this message in the way school systems, work places and institutions operate. Studies have shown that a little stress can sometimes help you stay focused and get things done. But if it gets to be too much, it can backfire, making it harder to think clearly and get through your day. Perfectionism is the inner voice and set of beliefs that tells you nothing you do is ever quite good enough. It makes you feel like you have to work harder, stay up longer, and obsess over every little detail, even when it’s not necessary. While that can lead to impressive accomplishments, it also lays the perfect groundwork for burnout. It’s really a gamble between your long term health and the possibility of getting the result you want. Burnout, on the other hand, is a deep exhaustion—emotional, mental, and sometimes physical—that makes even the simplest tasks feel impossible (to learn more about burnout, check out other posts here). For perfectionists, this can creep in slowly, masked by productivity and ambition, until one day, you’re running on empty. It can be a toll on our mental health that many of us can’t afford. Chasing an impossible ideal doesn’t just wear you out—it pulls you away from what truly matters, like joy, creativity, and self-compassion. So where do we begin? Let’s start with identifying the traits of perfectionism and burnout. What is Perfectionism? Perfectionism is more than just wanting things to be perfect. It is the relentless pursuit of perfection, often accompanied by a critical inner voice. While setting high standards can be healthy, perfectionism takes it to an extreme. It’s not about growth (which is nonlinear and messy) or improvement but about avoiding mistakes, failure, and the uncomfortable feelings that come with them, like shame and embarrassment. At its core, perfectionism is about being afraid to fail. But it’s not just the failure itself that’s scary. For many perfectionists, failing feels like proof that you’re not good enough. It’s tied to a deeper fear of shame, which can be even harder to handle than disappointment or frustration. Perfectionists often share traits like fear of failure, a need for control, and a constant drive to meet impossibly high expectations. Underneath it all is a deep belief that worthiness hinges on achievement—if you do more, and do it perfectly, then maybe you’ll feel “enough.” There are different flavours of perfectionism, too. Self-oriented perfectionism turns the pressure inward, demanding perfection from your own personal standards. Socially prescribed perfectionism stems from external expectations—feeling like you have to meet others’ high standards to gain approval. Maladaptive perfectionism traps individuals in a cycle of stress, anxiety, and self-criticism, making it difficult to find balance or fulfillment. When your self-worth feels tied to your success or striving for the perfect image, it’s hard to step off the treadmill—even when it’s running you into the ground. Perfectionism keeps us in a cycle of impossible goals, dissatisfaction even when you succeed, and behaviours that keep you striving, like overworking or harsh self-talk. And being insidiously run into the ground is often what happens when those striving for perfection encounter burnout. Understanding Burnout Burnout is more than just feeling overworked—it’s a state of chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that leaves you running on empty. It often starts subtly, with mounting stress or frustration, and can spiral through stages like over-commitment, neglecting self-care, and eventually complete exhaustion and detachment. (Freudenberger’s 12 stages map this slippery slope in detail.) Common signs of burnout include: Constant fatigue, even after rest Lack of motivation or enthusiasm for work Increased irritability or impatience Struggling to focus or reduced productivity A sense of detachment or cynicism about your work Being in denial of problems and consistent frustration that things are not flowing smoothly Burnout thrives on a mix of external stress, like working in a high-pressure environment, and internal factors, like negative self-talk or unhelpful coping habits (hello, doom-scrolling or skipping meals). If you can’t find time to recharge—physically, mentally, or emotionally—it’s hard to break free from burnout’s grip. Recognizing the signs early and giving yourself permission to rest is key to reversing the cycle. Perfectionism-Induced Burnout Perfectionism has a sneaky way of keeping you under constant pressure. By setting unattainable goals, it traps you in a loop of “not good enough,” where the finish line is always moving. Instead of celebrating progress, perfectionists often focus on what’s missing, which can leave them feeling like they’re forever playing catch-up. Fear of failure adds fuel to the fire. Perfectionists may struggle to delegate, worried that someone else won’t meet their high standards. Mistakes—or even the possibility of mistakes or being seen as not good enough to do it on your own—can trigger intense anxiety and self-criticism, making it hard to trust yourself or others. This pressure to “do it all” often leads to overworking and neglecting self-care. Breaks feel indulgent, and relaxation? Forget it—it’s all about pushing harder to meet those ever-rising expectations. Personal well-being takes a backseat to productivity, leaving little room for rest, joy, or connection. The harder you push the more depleted you become, until burnout takes hold. And the irony? Perfectionism promises success but often delivers the opposite: a drained, disconnected version of yourself struggling to keep up. In other words, even if you succeed you won’t feel like celebrating; there isn’t a proper conclusion to your work, leading you right back into the grind. Identifying When Perfectionism is Becoming Harmful At its best, perfectionism can motivate you to strive for excellence. But when it starts to overshadow your well-being, it’s a sign something’s off. Warning signs include irritability, procrastination (ironically, from fear of not doing something “right”), and a lack of joy in your accomplishments. Instead of feeling proud when you achieve something, you might just move the goalpost and keep running. To check in with yourself, try this quick reflection exercise. Answer these yes or no questions honestly: Are you constantly pushing yourself to achieve more, even when it leaves you drained? Do you feel anxious or uneasy if you don’t meet your own expectations? When you achieve a goal, do you immediately raise the bar before even processing or reflecting on the success? Do others think your standards are too high, or have they told you so? Do you feel like a failure or harshly criticize yourself when you fall short? Do you spend a lot of time comparing yourself to others or rechecking your work? Do you avoid tasks or postpone them out of fear they won’t be perfect? Are you more focused on what you haven’t done than what you have accomplished? Does meeting your goals leave you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed? Do you prioritize productivity over rest, relationships, or having fun? Do you feel your worth is tied to your achievements? If you answered “yes” to many of these, perfectionism might be taking a toll on your mental health. It’s important to recognize whether your habits are helping you grow—or holding you back. Speaking with a mental health professional could help you to identify your patterns, set realistic goals and help address the root causes of the perfectionistic tendencies. Breaking the Cycle: Practical Strategies for Perfectionism and Burnout Breaking free from perfectionism and burnout starts with a radical shift: learning to treat yourself with kindness. Self-compassion means giving yourself grace, especially when you stumble. Remind yourself that mistakes and imperfection are part of being human—not proof of failure. Try speaking to yourself as you would a friend, offer reassurance instead of criticism when things don’t go as planned. Next, focus on setting realistic goals and boundaries. Ask yourself: What’s truly achievable right now? It’s okay to aim high, but make sure your standards are grounded in reality. And don’t forget boundaries—knowing when to step back or say no is key to preserving your energy and mental health. When perfectionistic thoughts creep in, challenge them with a dose of curiosity. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques can help you reframe unhelpful beliefs. For example, if you think, “If it’s not perfect, I’ve failed”, try asking, “Is that really true? What would I say to a friend in this situation?”. Over time, reframing these thoughts can create space for more balanced, compassionate perspectives. Finally, prioritize self-care and rest. It’s not a luxury—it’s essential. Build time into your day for relaxation, hobbies, or activities that bring you joy. Sleep is a foundation of resilience, so don’t underestimate its importance. Giving yourself permission to rest isn’t laziness—it’s what allows you to show up as your best, most sustainable self. By embracing self-compassion, setting boundaries, reframing perfectionistic thoughts, and making time for self-care, you can begin to break the cycle of stress and exhaustion—and start living with more balance. Takeaways: Focusing on Balance Over Perfection Perfectionistic tendencies might promise success, but it often comes at a steep cost to your well-being. The key isn’t to abandon your ambitions but to balance them with self-compassion, realistic goals, and rest. When you shift your focus from being flawless to being fulfilled, you create space for joy, growth, and a life that feels good to live. Remember, your worth isn’t ...

If you’re here, you’re probably wondering whether psychotherapy and counselling are covered under the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP). You can look no further! We wrote this article to provide you all the details and information you need to understand OHIP coverages. Therapy Services Covered by OHIP OHIP provides coverage for certain mental health services, depending on the professional credentials. Some mental health services are included under OHIP but others require private insurance or paying out of pocket.  Let’s look at what professionals are covered under OHIP.  Psychiatrists Psychiatrists are physicians who focus on diagnosing and providing mental health treatment. Psychiatrist services are fully covered by OHIP.  At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we’ve teamed up with Psychotherapy Matters, a platform that brings therapists and psychiatrists together to provide you with better support. Book a Free Consultation with us if you are interested for more information on our collaboration with Psychotherapy Matters. Book Consult Family Doctors with Psychotherapy Training There are some family physicians who received specialized training in psychotherapy. If your family doctor provides psychotherapy services, then the services would fall under OHIP coverage.  Check with your family doctor whether they are part of a Family Health Team (FHT). FHTs offer integrated mental health services, including psychotherapy and counselling. Mental Health Support in Public Institutions If you are seeking therapy and counselling services through a psychotherapist, psychologist or social worker in a public funded setting such as a hospital, school, or community health centers, then these services may be included under OHIP.  Mental health support in these programs typically focus on short-term treatment or targeted interventions for specific issues.  Therapy Services Not Covered by OHIP Mental health professionals working in private practice (i.e., psychologists, psychotherapists and social workers) are not covered by OHIP.  If you are looking for support from these professionals, you will need to cover the cost out of pocket or rely on the insurance benefit plans from your employer. Affordable Alternatives to Private Therapy If you are struggling financially and do not have access to insurance benefits coverage, there are several affordable options available.  In Ontario, access to free or low-cost psychotherapy depends on several factors, including your location, income, and personal circumstances. If you’re looking for support, here are some options to consider: Workplace Support Programs: Many employers offer Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) as part of their benefits. These programs often provide free or reduced-cost counseling services for both employees and their families.   Government Assistance Programs: Programs like the Ontario Disability Support Program (ODSP) or Ontario Works may help cover psychotherapy costs for those who qualify. These options are designed to assist individuals facing financial or disability-related challenges.   Community-Based Clinics: Free or low-cost mental health services may be available through community health centers, local hospitals, or outreach clinics. These resources often focus on providing accessible care to underserved populations.   Services and resources can differ greatly depending on where you live and the funding available in your region. It’s important to explore what’s offered in your local community to find the most suitable support.   The Affordable Therapy Program at Get Reconnected Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services offers an affordable therapy program, making quality therapy and counselling accessible to individuals across Ontario.  We offer rates as low as $25 per session offered by intern therapists. Our intern therapists have completed their 2-year Master Level Education and are currently enrolled in an 8-month practicum. Reach out to us for more information or to book a free 15-minute consultation.   Considerations When Choosing Therapy When deciding on the type of therapy to pursue, consider these factors: Wait Times: Services covered by OHIP can have long waitlists, especially for psychiatrists or mental health support from public institution programs.   Budget: There are different therapy options available, from affordable (low-cost) or sliding scales programs like our affordable therapy program that can help make it more manageable.   Type of Support: Determine whether you need talk therapy, medication, or both. A consultation with a psychiatrist or family doctor can steer you in the right direction. We also offer psychiatrist consultations through our psychotherapy services.    Final Thoughts Taking care of your mental health is a priority, but the cost of therapy can sometimes feel like a barrier.  Don’t hesitate to explore your options or reach out for guidance—we’re here to help you take that first step.

Have you ever wondered why some relationships feel safer from the get-go than others? Or even why some of the people you dated in the past weren’t as compatible with you as you thought? This is largely due to the type of care you received in your early years and how it shapes attachment styles, which are patterns of behaviour and emotional responses that affect our relationships. Origins of Attachment Theory Attachment Theory, studied by British psychiatrist John Bowlby and psychologist Mary Ainsworth, examines how the bonds we form in early childhood influence our ability to connect with others throughout life. Bowlby believed that our first relationships, especially with caregivers, are a blueprint that sets the tone for how secure, trusting, or anxious we might feel in later relationships. Mary Ainsworth took this further with her “Strange Situation” study, where she watched how infants reacted when their caregiver briefly left the room. Through these reactions, she uncovered different attachment styles that reflect how safe or unsettled the child feels. Our early experiences teach us what to expect from others—whether relationships will feel like a safe haven or something a bit more uncertain. These early bonds give shape to how we navigate intimacy, trust, and closeness as we grow. The 4 Attachment Styles Bowlby’s studies suggested that the attachment system essentially “asks” a core question: Is the caregiver close by, accessible, and attentive? If the child senses that the answer is “yes,” they feel loved, secure, and confident, and are more likely to explore their surroundings, engage in play, and socialize with others. This translates later on in our relationships with close ones, whether they are bonds with siblings, romantic partners or relationships that make up our sense of trust and safety. Let’s explore the four attachment styles and look at the traits of each one: Secure Attachment Style Imagine a friend who feels right at home in their relationships—they’re open, trusting, and don’t mind giving their partner or friends space when they need it. Someone with a secure attachment says “I’m here for you, but I’m also good on my own”. This balance lets them enjoy closeness without fear or worry. People with a secure attachment are usually good at balancing closeness and independence. For example, if their partner or friend needs some time alone, they don’t take it personally or worry about losing that connection. They know that time apart doesn’t mean the relationship is any less meaningful. They’re comfortable giving and receiving affection without feeling clingy or distant. This security lets them handle disagreements or misunderstandings calmly because they trust the strength of the relationship. Secure attachment is about trust, open communication, and a deep sense of connection that isn’t shaken by time apart or life’s ups and downs. People with this attachment style see relationships as safe spaces where they can be themselves and let others do the same, leading to balanced and resilient bonds. Anxious Attachment Style Think of someone who wears their heart on their sleeve. They value closeness and are often sensitive to any hint of distance. When they don’t hear back from a loved one, they might start to worry: “Did I say something wrong? Are they upset?” Someone with an anxious attachment style may feel like they’re always wondering if others care as much as they do—and it’s hard to shake that feeling. They might check their phone a lot, wonder about past conversations, or even feel a bit jealous. It’s like a constant need to make sure everything is still good in their relationships. In social or work settings, distance from others can lead them to feel left out or rejected, even if nothing is actually wrong. This can cause them to feel worried and crave reassurance. Avoidant Attachment Style People with an avoidant attachment style often like their independence and can feel uneasy when relationships start to get too close or intense. For them, a bit of distance feels safer and helps them stay calm. But when someone tries to get closer—whether it’s a friend, family member, or partner—they may start to feel anxious or uncomfortable. This can lead them to pull back or act distant, even if they do care about the other person. For example, imagine someone who’s dating but suddenly stops replying as much or avoids deep conversations when things get serious. They might do this because they’re starting to feel overwhelmed by how close the relationship is getting. Disorganized Attachment Style People with a disorganized attachment style often feel conflicted in relationships, like they’re caught in a back-and-forth between wanting closeness and feeling the need to pull away. One moment, they might crave connection and feel comforted by someone’s presence, but as soon as things get too close, they might start to feel anxious or uncertain, wondering if it’s truly safe to trust. This push-pull feeling can make relationships feel intense and unpredictable. This attachment style often develops from past experiences where caregiving was inconsistent or even confusing, mixing love with moments of fear or uncertainty. Disorganized attachment isn’t as simple as being either anxious or avoidant; instead, it’s a mix that can shift depending on the situation. We all have parts of each attachment style in us, but people with disorganized attachment may feel like they’re constantly switching between different needs. It’s helpful to notice where you feel most comfortable—your “natural home”—so you can understand your reactions better and find more stability in relationships. Each attachment style reflects our need to feel safe, loved, and understood in relationships. About half of people have a secure attachment, but it’s common to show traits from more than one style. Secure people may still feel anxiety at times, and those with avoidant or disorganized attachments can experience both closeness and caution. Why Attachment Styles Matter Self-Discovery and Self-Awareness Understanding your attachment style can be a powerful tool for personal growth. It’s like getting a clearer picture of the emotional patterns that show up in your relationships. For someone with an anxious attachment style, learning self-soothing techniques can help calm those worries. If you have an avoidant or disorganized attachment style, it’s essential to notice triggers and patterns—paying attention to what’s happening internally and identifying the kinds of thoughts that arise. This awareness can deepen your understanding of your feelings and emotions, leading to healthier relationships. Better Together When we understand our own and our partner’s styles, it fosters empathy and open communication. A securely attached partner can reassure an anxious one, helping to ease anxiety, while avoidantly attached individuals can learn to share their needs better. This mutual understanding can strengthen relationships, making both partners feel more supported and seen. How Attachment Styles Impact Relationships As you can imagine, attachment styles are a handy framework to guide us to think deeply about how our attachment tendencies show up in relationships. Friendships and Family Securely attached folks tend to feel at ease in their social lives. They trust others, can set boundaries and don’t mind leaning on friends or family when things get tough; they’re there for others in the same way. People with an anxious attachment style, on the other hand, often crave reassurance, which can spill over into friendships. They might sometimes feel left out or a bit too invested, which can make social situations tricky. Those with avoidant attachment might keep a bit of distance even with family and close friends. Romantic Relationships Attachment styles play a big role in how people approach intimacy, communication, and conflict in romantic relationships. According to researchers Hazan and Shaver, the bond between romantic partners actually operates on the same attachment system that shapes the bond between infants and caregivers. Just like a child feels safe with a responsive caregiver, adults feel more secure and open to exploring the world when they have a caring, reliable partner. Adults with anxious attachment styles often crave closeness but might worry their partner doesn’t feel the same, leading to worry and sensitivity to signs of distance. Avoidantly attached adults might struggle with intimacy, keeping their independence by steering clear of vulnerability. Professional Relationships Attachment styles even extend to our work lives, influencing how we navigate teamwork, leadership, and workplace relationships. If you are securely attached, then you are more comfortable with collaboration, open communication, and handling feedback. An anxious attachment style can lead people to worry about approval from coworkers or supervisors, making you sensitive to criticism or prone to seeking reassurance. For someone with a disorganized attachment style, navigating work relationships can feel confusing or even stressful. They may experience a push-and-pull between wanting connection with colleagues and feeling mistrustful or anxious about being vulnerable. Understanding attachment can be valuable for workplace teams to create a work environment where everyone’s strengths are acknowledged and encouraged. What’s Your Attachment Style? It’s not easy to always know what our unique attachment style is as we are all multifaceted and dynamic humans who change depending on our environment, context, history and past. The great thing is that learning about your attachment style is a great place to start as it will prime you to take notice of your relational moments and how they affect you. Here is a summary and some prompts to help you assess your dominant attachment style(s): Secure Attachment: You feel comfortable ...

We are happy to announce the start of our monthly newsletter, where we will be sending you interesting information and newest research in mental health. This month, we’re sharing some intriguing research on how anxiety changes the way our brain works. We’d love to discuss how these insights might relate to your experience and how we can support you. Neuroimaging Study Reveals Different Brain Mechanisms in Anxious vs. Non-Anxious Individuals Scientists have found that people with anxiety use their brains differently than those who don’t have anxiety. In anxious individuals, a part of the brain responsible for decision-making (the frontopolar cortex) is more active and strongly connected to the amygdala, the part of the brain that controls emotions like fear. This explains why anxious people may find it harder to stay calm in stressful situations. Understanding this could help create better treatments for anxiety in the future. Read the Article Here New findings reveal how emotion enhances memory for contextual details Scientists have found that when we feel strong emotions, it helps us remember details around those events more clearly. For example, if something exciting or scary happens, we’re more likely to remember not just the event but also the small things around it, like where we were or who was there. This helps us learn from our experiences and make better decisions in the future. It also shows why emotional memories are so powerful and can help us understand how to use emotions to improve learning or recall important information in daily life. This happens because our brain is wired to focus more during emotional moments, which can explain why emotional memories often feel so clear. Read the Article Here Differences between stress and anxiety In our blog, we explain how anxiety and stress are different, though they often feel the same. Stress usually comes from external pressures and tends to be short-lived, while anxiety can linger even after those pressures have passed. We outline the symptoms of each and offer practical strategies like mindfulness and relaxation techniques to help manage both. By understanding the differences, we can better address what we’re going through and take steps toward feeling better. For more details, check out the full blog here.   About GR & Services + Team At Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services, we provide virtual mental health care to individuals across Ontario. Founded by Delia Petrescu, the clinic offers evidence-based therapy for a wide range of concerns, including anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, body image issues, burnout, infertility stress, relationship challenges, grief, phobias, ADHD, borderline personality disorder, among others. In addition to therapy, we offer comprehensive psychological and diagnostic assessments to help clients better understand their mental health needs. With our virtual model, clients can access care from the comfort of their homes, ensuring flexible and accessible support no matter where they are in the province.

The Neurobiology of Burnout: How Chronic Stress Physically Changes the Brain Home Delia Petrescu, MA, RP October 13, 2024 The Neurobiology of Burnout: How Chronic Stress Physically Changes the Brain Home Delia Petrescu, MA, RP October 13, 2024 Delia Petrescu Founder & Director BA, MA, Registered Psychotherapist (RP) Delia Petrescu, MA, RP is a Toronto-based psychotherapist, psychometrist, and the founder of Get Reconnected Psychotherapy and Counselling Services. She provides virtual therapy sessions Ontario-wide. Delia has experience working with adults struggling with adjustment difficulties, depression, anxiety, and trauma. She specializes in integrative and holistic care for those coping with life crises such as fertility concerns. Read more about Delia Read more blogs on this topic: Two-Week Wait After IVF: 13 Tips To Survive the Toughest Part of Fertility Treatments July 14, 2024 If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and recently went through IVF, you know that waiting to find out if it worked Read More » Finding Hope Through The Infertility Journey October 10, 2023 Explore the emotional landscape of infertility at Get Reconnected. Learn how to cultivate hope and resilience during your fertility journey. Read More » Surviving Infertility: Coping with the Ups and Downs February 18, 2023 Learn effective coping strategies for the emotional challenges of infertility. Discover support and guidance for your journey at Get Reconnected. Read More » Show More Delia Petrescu Founder & Director BA, MA, Registered Psychotherapist (RP) Delia Petrescu, MA, RP is a Toronto-based psychotherapist, psychometrist, and the founder of Get Reconnected Psychotherapy and Counselling Services. She provides virtual therapy sessions Ontario-wide. Delia has experience working with adults struggling with adjustment difficulties, depression, anxiety, and trauma. She specializes in integrative and holistic care for those coping with life crises such as fertility concerns. Read more about Delia Read more blogs on this topic: Two-Week Wait After IVF: 13 Tips To Survive the Toughest Part of Fertility Treatments July 14, 2024 If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and recently went through IVF, you know that waiting to find out if it worked Read More » Finding Hope Through The Infertility Journey October 10, 2023 Explore the emotional landscape of infertility at Get Reconnected. Learn how to cultivate hope and resilience during your fertility journey. Read More » Surviving Infertility: Coping with the Ups and Downs February 18, 2023 Learn effective coping strategies for the emotional challenges of infertility. Discover support and guidance for your journey at Get Reconnected. Read More » Show More

Tips on What to Look For in A Free Consultation Looking for a therapist can be nerve wrecking because you might be struggling with something, looking for guidance or wanting to learn more about yourself. Searching for the right therapist can feel intimidating. In doing so, you want to find someone who can help you achieve your therapy session goals. Not only is finding someone capable of helping essential, but also feeling comfortable with them, which is often referred to as “being a good fit” or in other words a good match.  In this blog, we’ll address what to expect in a psychotherapy initial consultation so you know what to look for going in. Whether you are new to therapy or you’ve been in therapy before, it can be helpful to have a refresher on what to expect and what to look for when seeking counsel. What to Expect in a Therapy Consultation Keep in mind that a brief initial consultation is a two-way street. The therapist is looking to hear about your struggles or what you hope to accomplish in therapy to determine if they can help. For you, the goal is to find out if you feel comfortable or if you “click” with the therapist and also if they have the knowledge and experience to help you.  Once you decide on a therapist to have a brief consultation, there are a few things to keep in mind. First, some therapists offer both video and phone consultations, based on their preference or the prospective client’s preference. What to Look For In a Therapist and Things to Consider Here are a few things to look for: Credentials and Experience Ask the therapist for relevant information, including credentials, experience, especially experience related to the current struggle you want to address. Ensure the therapist has the proper qualifications and a solid understanding in dealing with issues similar to yours.  Communication Style Pay attention to how the therapist communicates. Do they use language you can understand? Are they clear and straightforward? Good communication is key to a successful therapeutic relationship.  Rapport and Comfort Level Notice how you feel during the consultation. Do you feel heard and understood? Do you feel comfortable talking to the therapist? If you feel comfortable, the therapist may be a better fit for you. If not, it’s okay to continue your search.  Approach and Techniques  Ask about the therapist’s approach and the techniques they use. Different therapists use different methods that might involve either homework between sessions or doing exercises in the session. Make sure that their methods align with what you are looking for. Availability and Accessibility  Inquire about the therapist’s availability. Are they able to accommodate your schedule? Also, consider their location if you prefer in-person sessions, or check their availability for online sessions if that suits you better. Questions You May Want to Ask  Prepare a list of questions you want to ask the therapist. This can help you determine if they are the right fit for you and your needs. Don’t be afraid to ask about their approach, experience, and how they plan to help you achieve your goals.  Takeaway Finding the right therapist can be challenging, but knowing what to look for can make the process smoother. Focus on how they communicate and their approach to therapy. Pay attention to how you feel while talking to the therapist and afterwards. Feeling comfortable and understood is important. These things will help you choose the right therapist for your needs.  Get Reconnected Psychotherapy Services offers a team of therapists with different approaches and communication styles to suit your needs. We provide both phone and video consultations, making it easy and convenient for you to find the right therapist. Reach out to us to book a free consult!

If you’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while and recently went through IVF, you know that waiting to find out if it worked can be really tough. Those two weeks between the embryo transfer and finding out if you’re pregnant feel like they drag on forever.  In this blog we’ll talk about what makes the two week wait so tough and then we’ll discuss some tips and strategies on how to survive this part of the process. What Happens Following Embryo Transfer The fertility treatment process has many steps to help you get pregnant through IVF treatment. First, you might be prescribed hormones like progesterone and estrogen to get your uterus ready for the embryo. After a frozen embryo transfer, there’s a waiting period where you might feel cramps or light bleeding. At the point of the two week wait, you will check your HCG level with a blood test to see if you are pregnant and to make sure it’s not a false positive. What Makes the Two Week Wait So Hard after IVF and Embryo Transfer? The hardest part of IVF is not only the waiting but the not knowing. You become hyper-aware of every little thing your body does because you’re hoping for any sign of embryo implantation. It’s natural to search online for signs and symptoms, wondering, “am I pregnant?” but sometimes, this can make you feel even more anxious. The days following the transfer are one of the most difficult periods, as every twinge or contraction you may feel like a sign.This uterine activity can cause stress and anxiety, making the wait even harder to bear. According to research studies, this waiting period was rated as one of the toughest parts of the whole IVF process.