A cross between a text message thread and a blog post about inter-generational conflicts, Boomer as a state of mind, cultural differences between Zoomers and Millennials, and what it feels like to grow up Very Online.
I’d put something on my weekly to-do list, and it’d roll over, one week to the next, haunting me for months. In a marked shift from the generations before, millennials needed to optimize ourselves to be the very best workers possible. I took piano lessons for fun, not for my future. We didn’t think our first job was important; it was just a job and would eventually, meanderingly lead to The Job. But these students were convinced that their first job out of college would not only determine their career trajectory, but also their intrinsic value for the rest of their lives. Things that should’ve felt good (leisure, not working) felt bad because I felt guilty for not working; things that should’ve felt “bad” (working all the time) felt good because I was doing what I thought I should and needed to be doing in order to succeed. And when we don’t feel the satisfaction that we’ve been told we should receive from a good job that’s “fulfilling,” balanced with a personal life that’s equally so, the best way to convince yourself you’re feeling it is to illustrate it for others. Josh Cohen, a psychoanalyst specializing in burnout, writes. “You feel burnout when you’ve exhausted all your internal resources, yet cannot free yourself of the nervous compulsion to go on regardless.” One of the ways to think through the mechanics of millennial burnout is by looking closely at the various objects and industries our generation has supposedly “killed.” At least in its contemporary, commodified iteration, self-care isn’t a solution; it’s exhausting. That’s one of the most ineffable and frustrating expressions of burnout: It takes things that should be enjoyable and flattens them into a list of tasks, intermingled with other obligations that should either be easily or dutifully completed. The end result is that everything, from wedding celebrations to registering to vote, becomes tinged with resentment and anxiety and avoidance. Maybe my inability to get the knives sharpened is less about being lazy and more about being too good, for too long, at being a millennial. or take refuge in avoidance as a way to get off the treadmill of our to-do list. It’s not a problem I can solve, but it’s a reality I can acknowledge, a paradigm through which I can understand my actions.
