And a story about my ex-boss

Dear friends, there is a tale: Once a country priest was so rude that when riding his horse on the narrow road, he would shout at passer-bys coming his way as soon as he could spot them: “Be gone! Go off! Out of the way! Here comes the priest!” One day he was shouting at a person quite far off, but as he rode closer it became apparent that the traveler happened to be the king himself. The priest quickly grew quiet, cast his glance downwards, and pulled on his hood to conceal his face. As the king’s horse strode past, it was the priest who moved off the road. But instead of passing, the King stopped and turned to him, saying, “Tomorrow you shall come see me at my country palace. If you cannot answer three questions, then on behalf of your pride, you shall lose your hood and gown.”

If you think you can’t step away, do it anyway for one day to see how much trouble it causes. That’s useful information. ​ Dump your brain on to a sheet of paper—every single thing you could hope to do in the next 3 to 4 months. Then, look at your task list. Have the author sign each one. Did you write it, or was it fear, that nasty tyrant in your head? Cross off anything written out of fear. Listen: some drudgery is unavoidable, but you’re living your one and only life. You get to drive

anyway, a cute vestigial remnant of this whole process is that I still announce what I'm about to do before I do it. It's like a little ritual I have for myself. Every time I do what I say, I build trust in myself, I build self-respect (which I didn't have until... 25? 27?)— Visa’s Fluorescent Foibles (@visakanv) August 11, 2020

After each draft, I found myself asking "...why?," and I scratched them out and started over. but the truth is that that's not really what's occupying my mind these days…so, this month, as with every month, I'll give you what's actually on my mind. It's August now, and I have so few memories of doing anything this year. I've had a lot of group chats, FaceTime calls, phone calls, video calls, and even a few trips out of town, but those memories all feel translucent somehow, like I could put my hand right through them.

personal writing is very scary! i hesitate to do it because it’s really easy to fall into the trap (at least i think it’s a trap) of self-narrative — constantly writing about Who You Are and How You Came To Be, constructing these self-reinforcing loops of story and definition around your own brain…but i am starting to think it’s ultimately limiting, even deceptive, when it comes to actual growth and self-awareness.

But at the very least it’s honest and somewhat vulnerable to admit that screenshotting choice quotes is not as important as being critical of my own behavior. My own mistakes.

I’m confident about the inputs. That’s my line. That’s a daily thought and frame of mind. Where I get scared is…maybe I am deluding myself and using the inputs as a self-defensive mechanism.

No one knows the right answer. I certainly don’t. I just know that I’m wise enough now to stop, think aloud, and as myself and others — is this what we really need to be doing now?

You realize relationships, non-relationships, and fun nights out are easiest when you’re brutally honest. You don’t quite know it yet, but you’ve established one of the pillars of your short life that honesty is indeed the best policy.

That was a day I felt our friendship leveled-up, because I knew I could trust her to give me honest feedback on any subject. "Truth is Kindness" ​ all forms of lying --including while lies meant to spare feelings-- are associated with less satisfying relationships ​ I slide into dishonesty more often than I’d like. It’s easy and it’s comfortable.