When is the last time you had a great conversation? A conversation that wasn’t just two intersecting monologues, which is what passes for conversation a lot in this culture? ​ Although I couldn’t articulate why exactly, intuitively I agreed: I didn’t want to talk about myself either. That was boring. ​ When you think about it, this makes total sense. Whenever you’re “catching up” with someone, you’re often just dumping the details of your life onto another person. It’s as though the notebook of your life fell out of sync with the notebooks of others, and to compensate you hurriedly transcribe the notes from one notebook to the other. Then, the other person reciprocates. As John O’Donohue said, it really feels like two intersecting monologues. ​ Instead, it’s about intentionally searching for launch points – conversational ramps we can use to reach a shared reality far more powerful and enduring than the one we physically occupy. It’s those shared experiences that make great conversation.