One of the quotes I put on our chalkboard wall right after we moved (because our home also has a chalkboard wall, why not) was Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s “Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.” ​ So I take all of that back. That’s not what I mean. What I mean is a little more complicated. … I think I’m saying that L and I chose a situation that forced real intimacy, and compromise, and looking outward in the same direction, from the very beginning.

“But,” I continued, “if you find yourself in a situation where the instability or flux or stuckness is somewhat open-ended, if the issue is less that you’re spending six weeks moving into a house and more that you don’t know what your life is going to look like in six months, let your creative practice be your anchor. Make the time, keep the time, do the work. Your anchor can keep you in place, even if you’re in the middle of some very rough water.”

And maintaining this equilibrium isn’t just for my own sake. I want myself to be the most important thing so it can also, simultaneously and paradoxically, become the least important thing.