A cross between a text message thread and a blog post about inter-generational conflicts, Boomer as a state of mind, cultural differences between Zoomers and Millennials, and what it feels like to grow up Very Online.

The easiest way to do this is to map out your current habits and ask yourself, “Why do I do this?” over and over again—the way a little kid would. Usually, the things that feel like “goals” to us are 2–5 degrees of “why” removed from your daily actions.

But on the whole, the event felt more like a “humble brag” fest than an opportunity to make real connections. Many of the people I met were walking, talking LinkedIn profiles. What’s the job that’s not on your resume?

These metaphors make it hard for us to think of time as something to protect, care for, or cultivate. Time-to-yourself is often the exception rather than the rule. We usually don’t think twice about the design of [calendars] because they’re the invisible “water we swim in.” But their default settings/visualizations are shaping how we treat our time and others’—for the worse. Escaping the Gregorian grid They’re what designers call desire paths or free-will ways: “paths and tracks made over time by the wishes and feet of walkers, especially those paths that run contrary to design or planning. When we question the assumptions that are built into our tools, we can think more clearly about how they’re influencing us and how we can make them better.

Imagine instead a culture that viewed arguments as dances rather than wars. Arguments would be beautiful exchanges of ideas rather than battles to be won. In the “argument as dance” metaphor, opponents become partners who are working toward the common goal of bettering each other. People “would view arguments differently, experience them differently, carry them out differently.” If we stand at the intersection of different ideas, then the ideas must be roads, paths, or lines of some sort. The metaphor of “idea as road” also has a lot of entailments. Roads are flat, two-dimensional, linear, finite, and narrow. They have edges. There are “rules of the road.” Starting points. Destinations. The properties of ideas seem very out of step with the properties of paths and roads. Ideas can be amorphous, rule-breaking, non-linear, multi-dimensional. They overlap with each other in strange and irregular ways.