If this is really how math is done, then why isn't it taught that way at every level?

For them the videos were a grace they didn’t have to earn. I like to tell them the struggle is the more interesting place to be: because a healthy confusion is where the real learning begins. In fact, failing a student CAN be done with grace, so that the student understands their dignity has not been tarnished even though their work has been justly assessed---just as a parent can discipline her child if the child knows her love is unconditional. Grace is precisely what makes hard conversations possible, and productive, between people. But you have to extend the grace first. One of my students said to me, so gently: “Should I be terminally ill later in life, I would want my son to act as you have.”