(Dropbox mirror: https://www.dropbox.com/s/3k81gi7m03m72ua/Follow%20your%20heart%20%E2%80%94%20with%20caveats.pdf) The longer you sit and theorize the further you get from actually finding the answer. You need to get into the brute force business. And that’s something that I had to learn first-hand. One of the ways I’ve been able to tell if I’m doing something primarily out of a sense of obligation to someone else is to use the “relief” test: I imagine that the other person came to me and said, “I don’t think we should do this anymore.” If my anticipated reaction to that event is a sense of relief, then I know I’m holding on for the other person. If my anticipated reaction is sadness or regret — then I know there’s something else going on.