Import

Not everyone has an instinct, an animal self that lives inside a person, born from their souls and forged to live in their flesh. Hundreds of years ago it was common to have bears, rabbits, fish, and lions, a menagerie of animals, but now, as time and dilution of bloodlines has increased, the most common thing to have is nothing at all. (See notes in each chapter for relevant warnings for grey area subjects)

“Really? Are you fucking with me? Once for yes, twice for no.” Two taps. Wei Ying scrambles from his desk and over to the tank, presses his face right against the glass. “Was Wen Ning right?” he whispers. His breath fogs the glass. “Are you our new cephalopod overlords?” Once again, the little blue and white octopus taps twice against the glass. Wei Ying goggles. Then it taps a sequence against the glass. But Wei Ying has worked on enough expedition ships to know Morse code, or at least the most important code of all—SOS. This little octopus needs help.

Lan Huan checks himself over again: earpiece, pistol, knife, party invitation.

Someone in the kitchen starts whistling a song. Lan Wangji is on his feet before he’s aware of moving. The waitress behind the counter calls out to him, but subsides when she sees his official cultivator regalia. He strides past her and into the kitchen. The whistler is currently folding himself in half to fit under the industrial sink. All Lan Wangji can see are black jeans, a tool-box at his side. Beat-up vans with no socks, ankles thin and pale. It can’t be him. It can’t—he’d seen him fall. Dangling off the edge of the Wen headquarters, a skyscraper high enough to obscure the sun. His arm aching, aching. His heart, aching, aching, beating warm for the final time. He wraps a hand around the whistler’s ankle.

Porsche really thought the titanium mag-lock cuffs were a good idea. Sure, Chay had lectured him at the price, but he swore they would come in handy on the job. To be fair they did...he just really wished he hadn't dropped the key.

In which Alec finds old love letters from a Magnus Bane he’s never met, but who has known and loved him for centuries.

Shen Qingqiu had promised himself he wouldn’t use the curse he found, the one that tied the caster and the subject together through blood, depending on their version tied their very souls together. He swore he wouldn’t subject Binghe to that, wouldn’t rob him of the chance for revenge by being literally incapable of hurting Shen Qingqiu without also injuring himself. Shen Qingqiu knew he was lying to himself at the time but surely he can find some way to apologize to Binghe after he soul binds them together and doesn’t have to fear dying horribly

There’s nobody there who’ll try to pull him out onto the street and remind him that they aren’t just little biological machines plugged into even bigger mechanical machines, weapons within weapons.

For many long years Merlin waited. For the other part of his soul, for the other half of his life. He was born to serve Arthur. So that meant he was also born to wait. Even if it took a thousand years. Even if the wait seemed never to end. Until one day, suddenly, it did. When Arthur stumbles from the Lake of Avalon 1,500 years after his death, he finds a world unlike the one he knew. Faced with the loss of everyone he loved, and the threat of impending prophecy, Arthur must learn what it means to be not just a king, but the Once and Future King. Merlin does all he can to guide him, even as he struggles to hide his love for his king, and his fear of losing him again. Story includes sass, banter, horseplay, & True Love.

Merlin was once told that Arthur would rise again at the hour of Camelot's greatest need. But a thousand years pass, with no Arthur. When the last war comes, and the world dies, and Arthur still doesn't return, Merlin suddenly realises that the hour of Camelot's greatest need… was a thousand years ago. Sometimes he's a bit slow on the uptake. Fortunately, he's figured out how to go back. What would YOU do if you had 2000 years of experience in the body of a 17 year old, and absolutely nothing left to lose? Note: E-rated sections clearly tagged, can be skipped.

“Long time no see, shizun.” Luo Binghe’s voice is ice cold for all its softness, and Shen Qingqiu shudders. He turns back to him, clutching at the strap of his bag like the last lifeline as the Titanic sank. “Hello Binghe,” he says softly, and Luo Binghe’s eyes darken. “It has been a long time.” “Five years, three months, twenty-two days.” Luo Binghe smiles. “But who’s counting?” Or: Desperate for a job, Shen Qingqiu returns to the city he left in disgrace to work at Luo Publishing, part of the Luo Enterprises conglomerate and owned by Luo Binghe, a man he has far too much history with - as xuedi, student, lover, and someone he betrayed in the worst way possible. But when they meet again, Shen Qingqiu has to confront the past he left behind and everything Luo Binghe still means to him. And more importantly, everything he still means to Luo Binghe.

Ever since their encounter in the spring, it feels as if Wei Ying is around him even more often than before, tormenting him with a constant barrage of inappropriate outbursts ("Lan Zhan! Look at that mountain ridge, it's shaped like boobs!"), preposterous ideas ("Hey, Lan Zhan, what if we just turn it into a monster first? That would be way better practice, even Huaisang could take this thing…"), and impertinent questions that should by all rights be in violation of any rules anywhere (“Lan Zhan, do you think you’ll always want to live in the Cloud Recesses? What if the girl you want to marry doesn’t like all the rules?”) as though Lan Wangji has in any way invited his scrutiny. Everything about this trip is terrible. On the worst field trip known to the cultivation world (and Lan Wangji specifically), a bit of extracurricular study takes an unexpected turn.

Cinderella, as told from a plastic deck chair while drunk at 1 AM.

PWP, no excuse really. Set in the post-Levelling Up universe. A downhill spiral from an off-handed fantasy to reality.

Porsche is one of Kinn's many boys.

It was one thing to transmigrate into a woman. It was another thing to transmigrate into a woman who was being married off to Luo Binghe for political advantage. His ‘father’ was the leader of the last rebel group of cultivators fighting against Luo Binghe's regime. But even they had to eventually admit defeat and the rebel leader used his only daughter to declare their surrender.

The first time that Porsche is injured on a mission, it leads to a kiss at the pier. The second time, Porsche finds himself in Kinn’s bed - and feels a lot safer there than he would have ever thought possible. (Porsche doesn’t know why he’s being so difficult. He needs something that he doesn’t know how to ask for - doesn’t know the words, needs someone to crack open his skull and dig them out for him. Of course though, Kinn wouldn’t do that.)

Luo Binghe's husband hasn't been dead for two weeks when she re-joins high society to look for her next target. She doesn't expect Shen Qingqiu, heiress to a sizable fortune and arguably the most beautiful person in the room, to walk right into her spider's web.

“What the fuck.” His soulmate interrupted, eyes now wide and tone disbelieving, previous irritation fading. Porsche wondered a little why he seemed so taken aback since he probably knew it was going to happen one day. “Well, you were rude,” Porsche said with an even voice as he crossed his arms. ---- Soulmate AU where the first words you say are written on your soulmate. Porsche gets rude words and is very adamant about revenge.

Wei Ying was in shock. Lan Zhan read his smut. Lan Zhan read his smut. Oh no, Lan Zhan had read his last fic, the one with tentacle smut. Lan Zhan read his tentacle smut. At work. It was then that Wei Ying had a brilliant idea. He wanted to see Lan Zhan's face as he read the next chapter of his fic. Wei Ying would give him the smuttiest smut ever written. Or: Wei Ying writes fanfic under the alias Yiling Patriarch. Hanguang-Jun is his beta.

Shen Yuan’s gotten away with avoiding many of the responsibilities of a well-to-do young master, but he’s finally found the one thing he can’t escape: no matter what, he must take a wife. Luo Binghe, Shen Yuan’s personal servant and totally platonic best friend, takes a particular interest in this. (Unrelated, and surely not important: demonic sightings in town have risen, and Luo Binghe is keeping secrets. Good thing these things have nothing to do with Shen Yuan’s bridal selection!)

They burst to the surface gasping for breath, water clogging Porsche’s ears, distorting the brightness of Kinn’s laughter across the pool into muffled echoes along the tall glass walls of the building. He grabs for the side, lungs screaming. “Fuck! You want to drown me?” ; Kinn shows Porsche just how grateful he is for the perfect first date.

It starts with snide commentary on gelato and ends in a hail of bullets, Kinn running panicked down the filthy back streets around Thonglor Soi being chased by Sicilian shitbags who are pissed he doesn't want to ferry around their cocaine anymore.

During the Mount Dafan hunt, in the year of the 438th Cultivation Competition, Lan Wangji sees a new-old competitor. "Have we met?" asks Lan Wangji. "I'd hope you would remember me if we'd met." The other cultivator looks at him with a bland kind of smile that Lan Wangji has never seen from Wei Ying. Wei Ying could not be bland at anything. And that's not his voice. And yet, it is. It's deeper, like there is grit dusted in, but the inflection, the light hang of humour, that's Wei Ying's. Lan Wangji blinks. It feels like he's having a hallucination; if he squints, he can see Wei Ying superimposed on this young man and then he blinks again, and he is gone. There's a pressure in his chest, as if someone just inflated a balloon inside of him and plastered all of his organs to the underside of his ribs. - Or: MDZS, a Modern Retelling

After transmigrating into the villain of a Hades and Persephone AU, Shen Qingqiu is forced to cruelly sweep Luo Binghe away to the underworld in a vicious, unforgiving bridenapping. Except… this pretty God of Spring actually seems quite happy to be stolen away? And he’s actively helping plan the wedding?? Someone with experience wrangling newly acquired wives, please help!

Twenty-one-year-old Sarah Williams doesn't have much to complain about. She has awesome friends, she's about to graduate from college with flying colors, and she's going to her dream university for Grad school. The last thing she needs is any uncomfortable blasts from the past, but that's exactly what she's about to get. Here's hoping she lives through this.

If you can’t build a giant wooden horse and fake a plague to ensure good relations with your brother-in-law, then how the hell do people survive family gatherings? Wei Wuxian is being victimized for being a dutiful family man and a genius, and he will lodge a complaint as soon as his throat doesn’t feel like a rocky desert anymore. Thirteen years after disappearing at sea, Wei Wuxian returns home to a son who is now a young man and a husband who is even more reserved than before. As he reunites with family and old friends and tries to figure out how he fits into the picture now, a number of mysteries prey on his mind. Why is everyone trying to marry presumed widower Lan Wangji? What happened in Justice twelve years ago? Who is really responsible for the sack of the temples of Nightless City? Did Jiang Cheng actually mellow out? (yes) Is Lan Sizhui the best boy? (obviously) And could it be that Lan Zhan possibly has…feelings for him?? (omg, wwx, you absolute muppet) (Greek mythology fusion AU; the Odyssey with Odysseus/Penelope wangxian) POV Wei Wuxian, aged 35

It's not unusual for Shen Yuan to go along with one of Shang Qinghua's wild ideas when he's too drunk to object. Most of the time it's manageable. Ridiculously hot guys paying him for sex is not what Shen Yuan calls a manageable problem.

"You don't get to say the things you did. Not then, not ever again." Porsche's fingers have found their way into Kinn's hair and the other man was doing the same. "Because I've never broken your trust for you to treat me like any of your past affairs and top it off by calling me a whore." At that final word he pulls on Kinn's hair, yanking him away until their eyes are at level. "I'm not the one who's had his dick in half of Bangkok before even hitting thirty."

In another universe, a man walks into Porsche's bar and Porsche falls in love.