Import

Being murdered had a way of changing even the most stubborn person’s view of the world... and Lady Katarina Claes, for all her good breeding, was no exception. But now that she's been reborn a year before her first death, she's vowed to burn away her weaknesses, wrest control away from her dark-hearted fiancé, and finally become the mistress of her own fate! ...Now if only she could stop accidentally seducing her would-be pawns... (Note: This story will act like an otome game and will begin with a common route that eventually branches into multiple routes, 1 per suitor that Katarina has. All of her suitors will eventually get their own solo paired ending with Katarina, with a few more endings thrown into the fray as well. You can ship all the ships here!)

Sasuke hadn't meant to end up in the past or accidentally create an alternate universe. Apparently things like this happened with dojutsu users more often than clans would like to admit. The responsible part of him says to try and keep the timeline as pure as he can. After all, his life turned out pretty well... eventually? Yeah, no. Besides, staying out if it would be boring anyway.

"Sorry," Wei Ying says again when the combination comes to an end. "I totally didn't mean to kick you." "Pay attention," Lan Zhan says. Wei Ying kicks Lan Zhan three more times at the barre. He apologizes each time. "Are you okay?" Wei Ying asks when barre exercises are over. "Are you incapable of following a beat?" Lan Zhan replies. The Yunmeng Heroes football team comes to take ballet classes at Lan Zhan's school. It turns Lan Zhan's entire world upside down.

A burst of talisman-shaped flame appears in the air before Lan Wangji’s eyes. Out of that flame and onto the table drops—a letter. “What is that?” shufu demands. Lan Wangji plucks the letter off the table. He recognizes Wei Ying’s scrawl: Lan Zhan, Cloud Recesses, followed by the name of a town several li away, as well as a cramped set of instructions on how to send a reply through the same flame-burst method. The happiness that shoots through him is so fierce that it almost frightens him. “Correspondence,” he says finally, tucking the letter into his sleeve, “for the Chief Cultivator.” In which Lan Wangji wants Wei Ying, and writes to Wei Ying, and waits for Wei Ying to come home.

As a virtuous wife, does it include tolerating his cousin, enduring his concubines, bearing his mother? If you will not let me live freely, why would I let you live in satisfaction? Did fate let women time-travel so she could learn the three morals and four virtues? Rather than act like a coward and live, it would be better to live in satisfaction and die.

“Hanguang-Jun has,” she pauses abruptly, almost stuttering, and Wei Wuxian hears the sudden rush of blood in his ears, “He is–” “The Chief Cultivator is missing,” says one of the Nie cultivators with relish, “Went on a night hunt alone, and there’s been no word for three days now.” “Where– Has– Is he–” For some reason, Wei Wuxian can’t finish a single fucking thought. ------ Post CQL canon Lan Wangji goes missing, and Wei Wuxian rushes to find him and bring him home, with elements of Orpheus and Eurydice.

Lan Zhan does not care for socialising with his peers. He is aware that it perhaps makes him appear aloof, and that some interpret his behaviour as arrogance. In truth, he simply prefers the company of his books and his guqin to his loud and unruly peers. It’s not that he thinks he’s better than them, he’s just built differently and cannot handle their exuberance. It feels overwhelming at times to be around them. It never feels overwhelming to be around his books. He has always thought his older brother understood this, and supported him. He was wrong. His brother is a duplicitous traitor. In other words, that time Lan Zhan got sent to summer camp and fell for an annoying brat named Wei Ying.

Two days later, Wei Ying texts Lan Zhan. "He asked me out on a second date??? What do I do???" Lan Zhan puts his phone down, closes the blinds, turns off the light. In the darkness, he buries his face in his palms and screams silently in his mind. He turns on the light. He opens the blinds. He texts Wei Ying, "This time, you let him kiss you." * Lan Zhan helps out his ex-turned-friend when he starts going out on dates.

A really good tragedy is one in which it simultaneously seems like there are a million and one moments in which a single character could’ve made a different choice and everything could’ve ended up better, and like nothing could ever have averted this terrible end. ----- #uh huh uh huh uh huh#it really all comes down to characterization tbh#knowing the characters COULD have made a different choice#but also knowing those particular characters never WOULD have#it reminds me of that post about shakespearean tragedies#and how say if you put othello in hamlet’s plot#he’d kill claudius immediately#just like if hamlet was in othello’s shoes#he’d out think iago#but it’s because they are who they are (in part) that tragedy ensues (via @nancywheeeler)

“Still, if I knew you were coming I’d have put something on.” Wei Ying rolled his shoulders back. He had tied up his hair, but a curl of it escaped and clung to his damp neck. “This is no way to greet the chief cultivator. Sometimes I bring a shirt if I expect to run into impressionable maidens, but most days it’s just me and Little Apple.” Five odd jobs Wei Wuxian took during his post-canon wandering, the people he met, and how he returned in the end.

Lan Zhan is—everything. Wei Wuxian looks at him, and he aches. And somewhere near the base of his neck, wrapped around the white bones of his spine, the little hitchhiking ghost whispers: wouldn't it be nice, if we had him all to ourselves? Wouldn't that be nice? That's the crux of it, really. Lotuses bloom for half the year. The sun sets in the west. Wei Wuxian wants Lan Wangji. And the ghost, too, wants Lan Wangji—but it wants much more than Wei Wuxian is willing to take. - Wei Wuxian picks up a parasite on his travels. It wouldn't be such a problem if it didn't listen to him so much.

“Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.” Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”

A mouthy beta runs off with Kinn's watch. He goes to get it back.

Porsche agrees to be in a gay porno. Kinn doesn't work here.

“As I said, Porsche,” Kinn begins. “I don’t like loose ends. So here’s what I propose: I’ll pay you for your company for the next week until my flight on Friday. Once I’m out of the country and beyond the reach of my enemies here, you’ll be free to go home. How does that sound?” Porsche feels like he’s hallucinating. “My company?” Kinn’s eyes roam over him freely. “Or however else you’d like to put it.” AKA the Pretty Woman AU

“What is the cure?” Wei Ying sighs. “The victim must ‘lie in the embrace of their beloved.’ They get ten days to fall in love or convince their beloved to 'embrace' them. If they fail . . .” Wei Ying shrugs and throws back his wine. “How long ago were you cursed?” Wei Ying drags his sleeve over his mouth. He does not insult Lan Wangji by denying it. “Ten days.” Or Wei Wuxian is hit with a curse. Lan Wangji is his only hope. Feelings are felt. Chill is lost.

“And who’s that?” “Oh. That’s Porsche. He’s Khun Kinn’s live-in boytoy. He’s harmless, mostly. Just a pretty face.” -- A boyfriend can go so many places a bodyguard can’t. As the threat of a potential leak in their security forces looms large, Khun Korn hatches a plot to place an added layer of protection around his heir presumptive. Enter Porsche, former bartender, current bodyguard, and reluctant fake boyfriend of Kinn Theerapanyakul.

I hope death is like being carried to your bedroom when you were a child and fell asleep on the couch during a family party. I hope you can hear the laughter from the next room. --- The thought of the grim reaper never scared me very much. If someone offered to walk you home in the dark, wouldn't you accept? Wouldn't it be nice to have a hand to hold? on death with 1. lilies abounded, @petfurniture, twitter; 2. frances molina, “o’death”

“1. This is how the story goes. A boy raised in captivity falls in love with a sun he sees for the first time, flies too close thinking he can possess it, doesn’t listen to a father’s warning and plummets into the sea. His father grieves, so everyone grieves. The story is immortalised in the boy’s blood, a tale passed down with silkdelicate care through eternity. 2. There is another story. In it a boy asks too many questions, lusts too much for more, dares to question his father’s authority. He is banished from the skies, sent falling from the heavens but he does not die. Instead he is named ruler of all that is cruel, painful and wretched with the world. No one grieves for this boy, as he is deemed the root of all evil. 3. It is the way of the universe for boys to disobey their fathers, for children to question what they know and want more, more from their lives. 4. The way a father chooses to love after this happens is how the story is told. 5. This is the reason everyone weeps for Icarus. 6. It is also the reason no tears were ever shed for Lucifer.”

It’s hard to stay cynical in the face of Clark Kent and his relentless optimism. Looking at him there, still in his button up shirt from his business trip, sleeves rolled up, still focused even though it’s pushing midnight, she feels a warm, steady wave of fondness in her chest. She wishes they could do this every night. Not the pulling a furious all-nighter right after someone tried to murder her – that part she could take or leave. But it would be nice to spend every evening with Clark. She’d always told herself she liked her space, but being with Clark was like having space and having company rolled into one. Her highly caffeinated, sleep-deprived brain catches up with the implications of that thought process, and she thinks, shit. After years of pining after an alien demi-god who is, much as she hates to admit it, miles out of her league, Lois realises she's caught feelings for her co-worker. Unsure whether or not to tell him, she seeks advice from the most sensitive guy she knows - Superman. Things don't go as she expected...

Phantom of the Opera explained, song by song Prologue: Once upon a time… Overture: If this song played at your funeral, you’d rise from the dead Think of Me: Musical theatre version of the Eye of the Tiger montage Angel of Music: Yeah it’s totally my dead dad Little Lotte: Friendzoned The Mirror: Friendzoned part 2 Title Song: This isn’t my dead dad Music of the Night: This organ isn’t the only thing I can use my fingers on Stranger Than You Dreamt It: U G L Y u ain’t got no alibi u ugly Magical Lasso: Bitch shut up Notes: This is just about the only comic relief you get in this damn show Prima Donna: What’s the worst that can happen ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Poor Fool: 🐸 Why Have You Brought Me Here: There’s like one redeeming trait in Erik and I’m holding onto it sorry Raoul the music is too bomb (still hella scared though) All I Ask of You: The first happy moment of the show All I Ask of You Reprise: Betrayal, anger, falling chandeliers, and this isn’t even the worst that can happen yet Masquerade: The second and final happy moment of the show Why So Silent: Happy time is over Notes: The fuck? Twisted Every Way: Terrible idea. Let’s do it. Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again: Time to be a strong independent woman Wandering Child: Not falling for the dead dad thing this time, wait maybe… Bravo Monsieur: Imma fite everyone, let my damn opera start The Point of No Return: If sex was a song Final Lair: Great googly moogly it’s all gone to shit

Now that the Parasite in chief has had her platinum Jubilee, i thought id share some fun facts about the monarchy in the UK and the Queen in particular. All of this information is easily found online. -The Queen negotiated clauses in the equality and Diversity Act so she wouldn't have to hire 'coloured or foreign' staff in the palace. that clause is still there today. -The Queen tried to use The State Poverty Fund to heat Buckingham Palace even with her own personal fortune. -She lobbied the Scottish Parliament 67 times to ensure that new wildlife protections laws woudn't apply to her estates there.

Lan Zhan’s body is hot. Objectively. And fantasizing is all about imagining hot people doing hot things, isn’t it? Who said Wei Ying had to imagine himself in these scenarios? It’s right there in the description — fan-ta-sy. As in, not real. As in, anything that gets Wei Ying going is fair game. This is a private matter, just for him, like jerking off in general is. No one else has to know. And even if they did, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lan Zhan is hot and Wei Ying is incapable of imagining himself making out with girls in his own skin, so he’s using Lan Zhan’s image as a proxy. * In which Wei Ying fantasizes his way to sexual revelation.

Shen Yuan wakes the way he wakes every day, lately: with an odd sense of dislocation, and his hand reaching out to the other side of the bed, surprised and disoriented to wake with the sheets cold next to him. He pulls his hand back, flushing, even though there's no one here to see him—what? Reaching out for a dream lover? Ridiculous. The strange feeling follows him throughout his morning routine, as he plops a packet of oatmeal into the microwave to prepare his breakfast, some sense insisting that someone should be cooking for him. * In which Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua accidentally reset the universe, and Luo Binghe and Mobei-jun transmigrate after them. Also, Luo Binghe runs a food truck.

Dracula: Hm, that human mother is being super annoying about her dead kid at the gate. How do I fix that? Wolves? I’ll say wolves. Dracula: What’s that? My good friend Jonathan Harker wants to leave ahead of schedule? Think I’ll do some wolves about that. Dracula: Damn, seems that old Dutchman has blocked off one (1) single window with garlic blossoms and now this one (1) specific girl in all of England is barred from me. Maybe I should use my title and/or some invented pretense to cajole the girl’s mother into letting me in. Or maybe I could just move on to a different victim out of the nigh endless blood buffet I specifically moved here to enjoy, none of whom have a small legion of blood donors and vampire-proofing scholars on their side. Dracula: Dracula, about to slam dunk a wolf through the window: Or,

Shen Yuan counts himself extremely lucky to transmigrate as an NPC so insignificant he doesn't even merit his own System. Sure, he's starting to get the inkling he may be shaping up to be some Wise Sage side bit in a poorly written papapa arc, but that's not an automatic death sentence, right? He can do whatever he wants! Go interesting places, see interesting animals, meet interesting people, and get saddled with babysitting gigs by demons who've no idea how to raise humans. An easy life.

Lan Wangji takes this brief, private moment—this fleeting opportunity that Wei Ying has bought with his performance of cruelty, before the worst of it begins—to speak the only truth that matters now. Under the cover of the Wens’ mocking laughter, mouth hidden by the fall of Wei Ying’s hair, he murmurs, “If I could have chosen. I would have chosen you.”

“You know what?” Wei Ying said. “I think we should be friends.” “Vulcans do not have friends,” said Lan Zhan. He was staring very determinedly at the screen in front of him. Wei Ying frowned at him. “That can’t be right.”

Wei Ying needs a fake terrible date. Lan Zhan volunteers.

Wei Wuxian snuggles closer, murmuring between kisses to Lan Zhan’s throat, “What god did I please to be thus rewarded, hm?” But Lan Zhan doesn’t pull Wei Wuxian closer, doesn’t return Wei Wuxian’s kisses with either his own or a delightful huff of laughter into Wei Wuxian’s hair. Wei Wuxian looks up at him, rises onto one arm and uses the other hand to caress Lan Zhan’s face. “Lan Zhan?” he asks. Nothing. His husband—Lan Wangji, Twin Jade, Hanguang-jun, his Lan Zhan—won’t wake up. Lan Wangji is lost in his own mind. Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren attempt Empathy to bring him back.