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“Well!” Wei Wuxian exclaims with deliberate cheer, clapping his hands together once. “This is terrible! But it could be much worse. You could be stuck here going into heat all alone!” “I would prefer that,” Lan Zhan says, flat. “You say that…” He wags an admonishing finger at Lan Zhan. “But it’s actually your very, very great good fortune to be stuck here in this cave with me specifically, because I am an expert at having your heat in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, and no supplies.”

Five times Lan Zhan came to the Yiling Salon for Lan Yuan, and the one time he came for himself.

Then he said 'don't you know? I am trying to make you great?' And I said 'I do not want to be great, I want to be loved' Sue Zhao

Reasons Neil had Died He cried too much as a baby, and his father made him stop He cried too much as a baby, and his mother tried to muffle the sound, and in her terror she silenced him for good His father wanted to hurt someone, and Neil was nearby The runners came for his mother, and they found him instead His mother hid him in a shack and left him alone as the heat soared They tried to run, and his father caught them They tried to run, and the runners caught them They ran, and they ran, and they ran, and they were still running and it didn’t matter, because his father would not stop, and he picked them off in one world after another until there was nowhere left to hide Reasons Neil Had Lived He didn’t know, but there were eight

BATTLE CHEFS IS COMING! by Qin Su The new season of Battle Chefs is upon us, and once again I will be recapping every episode. Join us to discuss the latest season of everyone's favourite video-game-themed cooking contest! Wen Qing is returning as the Referee and Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli will be our Players for the PvP section once again. Raid Boss Wei Ying is sure to make things interesting as always, and the trailers for this season promised us new heights of drama and excitement. They honestly could have just promised us pretty. It's going to be great!

A welt sprang up in the shape of Wei Wuxian’s hand. When Wei Wuxian stretched to look, he saw it wrapped around and curved down slightly toward his beautiful, beloved ass. Wei Wuxian laughed, nervous. “Ah, Lan Zhan. I guess I don’t know my own strength these days.” Wei Wuxian accidentally discovers Lan Wangji has a kink. Lan Wangji makes it Wei Wuxian’s problem.

Dear Guy Who Just Made My Burrito: A Fictional Letter Written to a Fictional Person About a Real Struggle

Pete Buttigieg is just a faggot. It’s very important to me that younger queers understand this: to the people who you’re trying to be more respectable for when you say things like neopronouns set the trans movement back or you’re why the cishets don’t accept us or including [aces/bi people with the ‘wrong kind’ of partners/non-binary people/kinksters/non-passing trans ppl/furries/polyam people] just hurts us, can’t you wait until we get all our rights before we talk about some of yours? – to those people? Pete Buttigieg is just a fag.

Joe Lycett and how to avoid paying a parking ticket. Funny vid

“No. This is fucking insane. You can’t just move across the country for the first guy who says he likes you.” Jiang Cheng’s words hit Lan Zhan like the figurative wrecking ball. The first guy. Does that mean what it sounds like it means? “I’m telling jie,” Jiang Cheng says. There’s a ‘bloop’ as he removes himself from the voice channel.

It doesn’t take five years for Shen Yuan’s backup body to mature, and when it does Shen Yuan emerges back into the world once more quickly realizing that nothing is as he expected or hoped it would be. But Shen Yuan has a body to steal back and a promise to keep, and that leads him to the last place he expected to ever go: Luo Binghe's front door.

"I always thought, if I ever did run across a s— a se— a, a, a dirty curse," Wei Ying’s words come rushing out, mortified, and Lan Wangji feels a sudden surge of smugness, recalling how Wei Ying had teased him in the library. "A sex curse." He says the words as drily as he can. Wei Ying squeaks. "Ack! Yes, a, a sex curse!" Despite his clear embarrassment, his hand seems to be glued to the inside of his pants. Lan Wangji wants to devour all of him. "I always thought that if I ended up in that situation it’d be fun? I’m very good at… at… that. Usually. I didn’t think the curse would make it so that I couldn’t finish!" * Lan Wangji finds Wei Ying wandering the back hills, cursed.

“Good day to you, witch,” she said, only as mannered as was required of her to avoid his nonexistent wrath since it was said of witches that they abhorred discourtesy. While that was true of him, the rest of what was said rang false: when witches were displeased, they cursed those who displeased them. This was nonsense. In Lan Zhan’s long, lonely life, he’d never cursed another person, not even when they deserved it. Lan Wangji is a witch. One day, he happens across an injured moth.

"You want to leave your very well paying job because you think your boss' daughter has started thinking of you like her other parent?" "Correct." Sooyoung leans back into her chair and asks, exasperated, "so are you both finally dating?" The answer's been the same for years. "No." "Fuck." swears Yoo Sangah. "So, how do I hand in my resignation letter?"

Wei Wuxian is on the road when he hears the funniest rumors — Jiang Cheng has reinstated him as a member of the Jiang clan, and now he's negotiating a marriage between Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan. Joke's on him.

‘… in some regions, lotus seeds (in either a fresh or dried condition) are used …’ Just a hopelessly smitten Lan Wangji coming to terms with being a husband, one improvised sex toy at a time.

“’Yes.’” Lan Sizhui’s fingers stilled for a moment, perhaps surprised for having gotten an answer after all. He then asked, “Why?” As the spirit replied in music, the Lans in the room started frowning slightly, clearly confused. ’Two of you have committed wrongdoing’,” the junior said, his concern evident. “What wrongdoing?” The notes turned even sharper, though the response was short. Immediately, Wei Wuxian could tell there was something off about it. Lan Zhan stiffened, and the kids’ eyes widened, their faces reddening. Lan Sizhui, who was blushing furiously, played the same notes again, as if making sure he’d heard right. or, lwj, wwx and a couple of lan disciples get stuck in a haunted manor

“I am not trying to save the world,” Lan Zhan protests. Wei Wuxian kisses him on the nose. “You are, gege, just a little bit. But the thing with the world is that it will survive and keep on going whether you help it or not, if you’re alive or not. I’d know.”

As all the eyes in the classroom turned to him, Wei Wuxian wished that he could fade away. That he could escape the lecture hall, and the laughing eyes of his classmates. He wished that he had a different name, any name, other than the one his mother had given him. Why, why had she named him after the Yiling Laozu? Most of all, though, Wei Wuxian wished that he had never met the man with the bright smile who was on one knee, clutching his hand. "Wei Wuxian!" Lan Wangji cried dramatically. "Zhangfu! Come back to Gusu!" ----- The fic where Wangxian's mothers name their sons after their favorite characters from the pop culture phenomenon Mo Dao Zu Shi...only they get the names a little wrong.

ttrpg merch - candles, dice

It’s a sunny Thursday when Mo Xuanyu runs away from the latest crappy foster home. He’s fifteen and he’s done. Until the day he tries to pickpocket the man in the powder blue suit. Or Mo Xuanyu gets tired of foster homes and ends up with Wangxian instead.

@/pakhnokh_art's 'house of gentians' au is haunting my mind 😭😭😭 and now all i can think about is modern au wwx writing an essay on emperor hanguang-jun and accidentally going down an entire rabbit hole about how the emperor allegedly had a secret consort he kept locked away. Latest tweet: https://twitter.com/cerbykerby/status/1532834572546715648

Sitting at his desk, Lan Wangji takes another sip of his horrible coffee, which is not in a recyclable cup and probably killing seventeen turtles, and looks over the intake form. Couples counselling is his specialty by choice, although not necessarily his choice. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng are lovingly bullied into what they think is family counselling. Lan Wangji, on the other hand, is not in love with his clearly unavailable patient.

“We shouldn’t be here,” Wei Ying whispers, as Lan Zhan drags her into the reading room.

“You’re freaking out,” Mianmian says as she pokes his forehead. “You think so loudly. It must be a nightmare in your head.” “I haven’t even met him. I signed that fucking contract and pledged myself to a guy I’ve never even seen!” “Yeah, to the most handsome man in the country. Literally. There was a vote.” * Or: The worst omega is hired to be the best alpha's concubine. Awkward hair-combing ensues.

“This has never happened before!” she protests. “Lan Zhan, I— I would have known by now if I had heats! Oh my god,” she mumbles into her hands. “This is so embarrassing!!!” “Heats are nothing to be ashamed of,” Lan Zhan says tonelessly. “It’s— I— You must be so uncomfortable! You can leave, Lan Zhan! I must stink.” Wei Ying turns her face into her pillow and wails softly, “And neither of us are even gay.”

Shen Yuan found the perfect way to live a low-key, relaxing life in the post-canon world of PIDW: by becoming a farmer! Raise cool plants, and live a quiet life writing herbariums with his brother. So why in the world were all these troublesome figures suddenly appearing at his gate?? This wasn’t why he became a farmer!

There is something living in this house. In the end, all he’d said was, “I’ll be fine,” and his brother had nodded and they’d lapsed back into silence.

Wei Ying returns after thirteen years, and Lan Zhan is going to marry him--no matter what he’s hiding.

Wei Wuxian is used to making a space for himself in places where he is not wanted. It should not surprise him that Cloud Recesses is the same, even if his soulmate is one of the twin jades.