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Wei Wuxian is going to be offered to the Emperor Lan Wangji as a marriage prospect at the end of the Jiang sect's visit to the palace. He's not worried - the Emperor always says no to every offer. But he is bored, sitting around and waiting until the day of the ceremony so they can get it over with and go home. While he is exploring the palace, he coincidentally meets a beautiful man called Lan Zhan, who he loves to tease. These things may be related.

Story time: In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew. Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes. What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied. The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system. So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.

so much could have been improved in the sequels if kylo ren hadn’t been force sensitive no wait think about it. kylo ren not being force sensitive, but so desperate to be so he’s willing to do anything. he feels cheated out of his grand destiny, his powers that his mother and uncle (and cousin?) have. give me the story on the entitlement towards the force. it would have shown that the force is beyond biological, it always has been. it would have given a better reason for kylo ren to “fall to the dark side”, so desperate for a connection to the force that he plays the part of a dark sider, swinging a cracking red lightsaber around with no finesse or training, killing hoping that it will push him further into a dark side of the force he cannot feel. it would have given a reason for him to hate han; that because han isn’t force sensitive, it’s his fault that kylo isn’t either. kylo’s character would have been stronger because his choices would have been his own, instead of whatever whisper dream manipulations they were in canon. his evil has nothing to do with the force, but an entitled man trying to claim a power he believes is his by birthright. this would have foiled perfectly with finn, too- one is a child born to the most powerful force sensitives in the galaxy who cannot feel the force. and finn is a child who was taken from his family, forced into soldier-hood, who feels such a deep and powerful connection to himself and the force that he breaks free. kylo ren, seething and entitled trying to claim a destiny and power that just aren’t his, and finn, who has suffered at kylo’s actions and still connected to the powerful light inside of him. the “nobody” hero of the sequels who has the power of the force and the legacy-born villain who doesn’t.

And, standing a healthy twenty feet away from Wei Ying, is The Guy. The Guy as in: six-foot-something, striking golden eyes, long pretty fingers curling around the spine of a textbook. He has the face of a movie star, a model, whatever, and he’s definitely not someone you’d expect to see at eight o’clock on a Monday morning without so much as a cup of the trashy coffee they sell in the dining hall nursed against his chest. It’s a very nice chest. Wei Ying would know, because this is the same guy he puked on in the backseat of a dingy cab two weeks ago.

“Oh.” Wei Ying stops trying to find his phone, gives his hand over entirely to Lan Zhan’s attention. “You wanna go by yourself? Will it be alright?” “Mm.” Lan Zhan kisses his palm, his knuckles, the back of his hand. No, he wants to say, childishly. No, it won’t be alright, and you should come with me, navigate this worsening, this new set of things to unpack. You should kiss me as I call my brother, my uncle. You should sit in the strange silence of Mama and Shushu in a room together and let me hold your hand so tight that your knuckles grind. He doesn’t say any of that. He lets go of Wei Ying’s hand. He calls Xichen, and leaves him a ten-second-long voicemail. He begins to pack. -- When Lan Zhan's mother falls ill, he moves back home, bringing with him his boyfriend, Wei Ying. As it turns out, it's the best decision he could have made.

An alien is standing in the hallway. That's not the surprising part. The alien is taller than him, black hair streaked with red cascading like a waterfall down around his broad shoulders. That’s not the surprising part either. The alien’s features are strange—narrow face, pointed nose, sharp, winged eyebrows, sharp canines revealed in a wide smile—but also familiar. Lan Wangji has seen those features before, only the last time he did, they looked entirely human, and that—that’s surprising. “Wei Ying?” he says. * In which Lan Wangji is chosen by aliens to bear alien babies. Well, by one specific alien.

Oh, what a night. A fanvid celebrating the shows of the CW, the WB, and UPN. Music: "Die Young" by Kesha.

Is it easier when you don't have to start again? When you don't wanna make amends? I want to know that feeling ---- Vid for Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings (2021) Xu Xialing

But there is no light that you can't live in Tear it apart Your old confession made in the dark Now every hour, change of heart You're running away But the shadow is yours Wei Wuxian—from loss to acceptance, from the dark to the light.

The dream shifts. They’re back home now, tangled up in bed, buried under a mountain of blankets and, at least in Wei Ying’s case, sore in all the ways he doesn’t mind being sore in. His husband is radiating warmth, and Wei Ying burrows into his arms happily. He presses his still-freezing toes to his husband’s calves and muffles a snort of laughter against Lan Zhan’s chest when he feels the muscles tense momentarily from the shock. Lan Zhan nips at his ear in retaliation but continues to run his fingers soothingly through Wei Ying’s hair. He melts into the touch. The only thing keeping him from turning into a puddle is the strong familiar arms around him, holding him together, holding him close. When Wei Ying wakes up, he’s full-body shivering. His hand slides across the bed, reaching instinctively for the warmth of someone who was never there to begin with. Wei Ying is an art major by day, cultivator by night. After a seemingly routine night-hunt, he starts getting these strange, vivid dreams of a man in white he’s never met before yet somehow feels like he’s known his whole life…

There’s a man in the building opposite their own who loves tea. Wei Wuxian knows this because their offices are on the same floor, directly opposite one another across a narrow side street, so as long as they both have their window shades up, they can see each other with unnerving clarity. Wei Wuxian doesn’t realize this at first. He’s so swept up in the excitement and nerves of starting a new job, of having his own office, of getting to know his coworkers, that he doesn’t realize there’s someone who can see everything he does in his office until his third day of work when he stands up at his desk to stretch and happens to lock eyes with him. The man stares back for a moment, and then slowly lowers the teacup from his lips. Essentially a spin on the ‘office romance’ and ‘next door neighbors’ tropes.

“Wangji, are you unwell?” The tone is brusque, but only because Lan Qiren at his gentlest hasn’t any talent at all for soft words. The worry in the frown and the wrinkled forehead is as unmistakable as that in Wei Wuxian’s expression for the past weeks. Lan Wangji is an adult; he knows now that there is no shame in lying about such a personal matter. But that would require an energy that he does not currently possess, and it is easier—a relief of a different shape than the silence—to say, “In a sense.” He pauses, but only to gather his words; his uncle waits, frown deepening. “I have missed several doses of my testosterone injections,” Lan Wangji says, as clinically as he can. “When we moved across the city, I attempted to transfer my prescription to the pharmacy by our new apartment. Apparently this demands new approval from the insurance company, and they have been slow to respond.” The anger has gathered sharp and fragmented as glass in his throat now, so he stops speaking. There is not anything more to explain, anyway; the facts of the matter are as simple as they are unchangeable.

A certain boy we all know and love gets injured. Lan Zhan saves him by using a qi alignment technique. However, the technique has some apparent side effects... Or: Gusu Lan summer school if Wei Wuxian was *aware* he was madly in love with Lan Wangji.

They were both adults, were they not? Lan Wangji did not know much about one-night stand etiquette, but he certainly knew what it meant when someone gave him a fake number. He would not push his company on Wei Ying, as it was unwanted. They could pretend, for this one dinner, to be perfectly normal adults with no sexual history, and that would be that. or, lwj meets his one-night stand at an unexpected place

Wei Ying offers to teach Lan Zhan to skate, not knowing that Lan Zhan is an Olympic level skater. Lan Zhan says yes, because Wei Ying is hot. Wei Ying can't actually skate all that well. They kiss about it.

Wei Ying has been Lan Zhan's partner for two months, three days, and seven hours. Plus or minus a handful of minutes, if you're counting. Which Wei Ying is.

When Lan Zhan must return to Shanghai for a month, he leaves his beloved home in the care of Wei Ying, a timely new acquaintance. But what happens when Lan Zhan returns to find that Wei Ying has nowhere else to go?

“I’m using orange liqueur to make my cake more interesting. Give it a bit of a kick, you know?” Lan Wangji’s expression has only changed minutely—not a lot of range there, it seems—but Wei Wuxian can tell he is perturbed by this information. “Alcohol? In cake?” “Honestly, I’m not sure any cake should even be made without alcohol,” Wei Wuxian says, offering another beatific smile that Lan Wangji does not return. OR: the great british bake-off au???

She called Lan Zhan in and made her tie the ribbons of her top. They wrapped around her midriff and came together low on her back. She couldn’t do it herself, she said, not with her two stupid broken wrists, her two big clumsy casts. Lan Zhan had said, “Turn around.” This did get a laugh from her: a single panting sound, and then she went quiet. Her waist was a heartbreaking dip to hold. She had a dot of a mole next to her spine. Her hair was long enough that she had to hold it out of the way so it wouldn’t get tangled in the knot. Lan Zhan’s touch must have been a little cold because Wei Ying’s skin rose in bumps and she huffed and Lan Zhan rested a hand on her hip. Lan Zhan was dry-mouthed, traced a line of the ribbon with her thumb. She asked Wei Ying, voice low: “And how will Wei Ying untie this, by herself?” * Wei Ying has two broken wrists and now she needs Lan Zhan to help her do stuff (jerk off)

“What happened to you guys?” James says. “Are you alright? How did you even get to London?” “Hitchhiked,” Michelle says casually. “Didn’t go so well. Couple of fucking perverts tried to get fresh with Erin, but we dealt with them.” “Orla bit one of them,” Erin says, and Orla beams, showing off her teeth. (AU where James doesn’t have time to say goodbye to his friends before his mum sweeps him out of Derry and back to London. The girls are having none of it, and hitchhike to London to get him back.)

Yiling Wei is an upstart new sect supported by the increasingly powerful Yunmeng Jiang. Heavenly allies warn Wei to be less conspicuous if it wants to avoid reminders of a generation war, while human friends recommend more publicity to counter the rumor and fear surrounding cultivators on the edge of immortality. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying just want to write books and raise their children in peace. Not necessarily in that order (but sometimes).

Google Drive link for all episodes of Our Flag Means Death season 1

Lan Wangji's love is as monstrous as her blood.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan set his bowl to one side as both forearms came to rest in front of him, clasped hands landing audibly on the table. He looked at Wei Ying until he faced him again. He always, eventually did—and this time he was blushing in earnest, because he knew he was in trouble. “Aiya, Lan Zhan. You don’t need to use your lawyer voice on me.” “Wei Ying. You mean to tell me that you have been racing high-level cyclocross for years without health insurance?” “Not years,” he said to the table. “Just, since—well. I guess since I turned 26.” “Nearly four years ago.” — Or: Lan Zhan finds out Wei Ying, one of the best cyclocross racers in the country, doesn’t have health insurance. He resolves to marry him about it.

Wei Ying’s thumb hovered over Lan Zhan’s number. It would be a brief phone conversation. Not even a minute. He would tell Lan Zhan what needed to be done, and Lan Zhan would say “mn” a bunch of times, and Wei Ying would spiral all day about how much Mr. Hot and Perfect All the Time probably hated his guts, and it would be fine. Emotionally, no different than any other Tuesday. Fine, sue him, he was a coward. He pulled up a new text and typed, My son is sick today. Going to doctor. Can you do smoothie hut call? 500m CRE + 250m LOC He sent the text. The ellipses rose. He waited. Or: During a long overdue divorce and messy custody battle, Wei Ying gets demoted to small business finance. There, he's partnered with a new closer who clearly hates him, until he finds out Lan Zhan is far more verbose—and dare he say flirtatious?—in writing than in speaking.

It's morning but the sun is already glaringly hot. Sweat is trickling down Wei Ying's back, under the strap of her sports bra, soaking into the fabric of her shorts. She runs her forearm across her face to catch some more sweat, bouncing a little in place to get ready to shut the other team down.

There's an unfamiliar middle blocker on the opposite team, one they've played a thousand times. "I've never seen her before." And Wei Ying is pretty sure she would have remembered her. "That? I don't know her name, I think she's new to the team." Wen Qing assesses the woman. "I bet she's trouble. Look at how tall she is." Well, yeah, she's a middle blocker. Wei Ying bets her height is what got her the position. She's tall and she's, like…super cool. Her dark hair is pulled up into a tiny pony at the crown, revealing an undercut underneath, and she's lean and muscular. She must notice Wei Ying's gaze on her because she shifts where she's looking and looks directly at Wei Ying. Wei Ying grins and waves, but the woman just skitters her gaze elsewhere, pursing her mouth. Hmph. Well. Rude.

As Wei Wuxian has made clear, she’s her wife in name only; Wei Wuxian doesn’t want her to—to touch, to warm her bed. She doesn’t want a companion, even just for her physical needs. She’s only the payment, the chips in the exchange that Wei Wuxian struck with the sects. Sometimes she feels like she’s here just to be tortured with the divide between them that Lan Wangji can’t seem to cross. * When Lan Wangji is given to the Yiling Laozu as her wife, she did not expect to fall in love, or how much it would hurt.

Breaking a bath once was an incident, twice a coincidence--but more than that? That was a pattern, and Wei Wuxian was starting to think that he's cursed. Or, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have a lot of Fail!sex and break a lot of bathing places.

In which Wei Ying owns the equivalent of an Etsy shop for talismans, Lan Zhan is helpful and consequently terrible for Wei Ying’s emotional state, and they both have to deal with the consequences of a talisman accident. Lucky them. For wlw wangxian week day 3: Cottagecore & Mind Sharing (mostly) Affectionately titled “The hanging chair fic” in my brain.