Import

cw mpreg what if wwx uses magic to erase everyone's memories of him and the dafan wen to protect them? it works really well! they're safe and forgotten! ...meanwhile, lwj is very confused when he realises he's knocked up but has, as far as he knows, has never had sex

“You wish me to take a warprize?” she says, not looking away from Wei Wuxian at any point, “Very well. This one is mine.” Somewhere, the Jin noble sputters in shock and dismay, and there is a susurrus of chatter from other warriors in the courtyard. Wei Wuxian doesn’t, can’t, pay attention. All of her focus is on Hanguang-jun’s eyes, and the heat that burns out from her fingertips. “Come,” says Hanguang-jun lowly, and this time it is clearly meant for Wei Wuxian. ---- No Cultivation Genderswap AU, where Wei Wuxian gets caught by a cohort of Jin and Lan warriors, and is chosen as a warprize by esteemed Lan General Hanguang-jun.

When Lan Zhan, the light and love of her life, had clasped her hands and asked if she was sure she wanted to do a traditional Gusu Lan wedding, Wei Ying had said yes without hesitation. Now however... well, she still would have said yes without hesitation, but she might have spared a thought at least to what a traditional Gusu Lan wedding would entail. - Rule 63 wangixian: Wei Wuxian discovers one of the lesser discussed Gusu Lan marital rites.

Wei Wuxian holds up two hands out in front of her, her eyes careful. Like Lan Wangji is a snared animal, snapping and vicious. She holds Lan Wangji’s gaze steady as she inches closer and closer. “Lan Zhan,” she says, talking low. “Whatever it is, let me help.” — Or, the mortifying ordeal of being a teenager on a night-hunt with your crush when you fall into some weird grass.

While clearing out a ghost in an abandoned movie theater, Lan Zhan is hit by an aphrodisiac curse. Wei Ying, her best friend and cultivation partner, insists on helping her. The next morning, Lan Zhan won’t look at her.

Hanguang-jun is dating a mild mannered, non-cultivator named Wei Wuxian. The Yiling Laozu rolls up to a nighthunt on a motorbike, no relation at all to the previous statement.

Wei Wuxian is hit with a sexy curse that can only be broken by fucking or dying horny about it. In a last-ditch effort to preserve the paper-thin plausible deniability protecting his enormous crush on Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian attempts to choose ‘dying horny about it.’ He fails on all counts.

The gang finds out that everyone has kissed Lan Wangji except for Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian has a meltdown about it and then fixes the problem as quickly and thoroughly as he possibly can.

After the Notpocalypse, Wei Wuxian moves in with Lan Wangji. Well. Moves in is a bit of an exaggeration, a tall tale perhaps, stretched by Wei Wuxian’s stupid imagination and even stupider pining, but regardless. This is the thirteenth night in a row that he’s spent in Lan Wangji’s bed, curled up around Lan Wangji with their wings brushing over each other. Wei Wuxian’s entire collection of weird mugs has found a new home in Lan Wangji’s fancy wood cabinets. And, Lan Wangji’s immortal rabbits now love him half as much as they love Lan Wangji, which is really the kicker, since said immortal rabbits hate everyone except Lan Wangji. (Or; Wei Wuxian is a demon, Lan Wangji is an angel, and somehow, stopping the Apocalypse didn't solve all their problems.)

wilful blindness masterpost

“Anyway, a little bit about me: I’m a law student and I am originally from –“ Ronan makes a rude noise, so Adam stops talking and instead just asks, “What?” “Nothing, no. It’s just very telling that’s what you start with.” Ronan says with a grin that makes Adam’s eyes narrow. “Fuck, Declan’s gonna love that. Any chance you can convince him you voted for Trump?” Adam just keeps staring at him until he shrugs and looks away, “Hmm, it was worth a shot.” “So if it’s not to impress your family with my glowing CV, then why am I here?” “Blue said she had a friend who was willing to do this and that you were hands – ah.” He pauses awkwardly and very resolutely keeps his eyes on the road, “Would be handsomely paid for your services. You know how she cares about shit like that.” “Right, right.” Adam drawls. or, Ronan needs a date, Adam needs the money - somehow, they make it work.

It is argued that time travel must be impossible, because it can result in a paradox. Time is immutable. It is most likely that a time traveler going back to change something in his past will only end up causing the event somehow anyway, thus completing the causality loop. History cannot be changed because time will always find a way to heal itself. If you follow this rule, then maybe, just maybe, you can override the loop and change the past after all. In fact, Duo Maxwell is counting on it.

Adventures with Yuuri Katsuki, living dance legend, and his ridiculous popstar husband, Viktor "I'm Extra" Nikiforov.

It was supposed to be a simple job—go in, create a distraction while the main operatives are extracting the necklace and provide any assistance necessary, and get out, all without getting caught by the party’s good-looking, grudge-holding host—and then he and his family would finally fulfill the last phrases of their contract. He would never even have to interact with the man he’d been ordered to assassinate six years ago. And it was a simple job, until Luo Binghe started flirting with him. Or: Six years after a purposefully botched assassination, Shen Yuan is coerced into robbing Luo Binghe for Qiu Jianluo. Things…don’t go according to plan.

He used to be in the centre of a room, loud and taking up as much space as possible, but ever since the falling out with his foster family, then coming out, then the baby, then his ex-boyfriend up and leaving, he’s been alone most of the time. He’s forgotten how to act around other people.

Lan Wangji takes A-Yuan to the aquarium to see the special merfolk exhibition. Lan Wangji thinks it is just an actor with a fake tail, until he sees the exhibition in real life. There’s a merman kept in a reef tank—scales mostly black with iridescent red glimmers shifting with the movement of the water. The merman is shedding silent tears, a dejected tilt to his shoulders. He looks miserable. The other aquarium goers think it's a performance; they point and whisper and laugh. Lan Wangji has a feeling it is not.

"Huh." Wei Ying thought it over. He didn't have much choice—if he wanted to live close to the university without having a commute that was over an hour long, he needed this place. The idea formed easily, and honestly, he couldn't see any problem with it. "So wanna pretend to be a couple?" Lan Zhan's eyebrow twitched, the only sign that Wei Ying had surprised him. Wei Ying watched him carefully as he took a sip of his tea, set the cup down, and leaned back in his seat. "Very well." Pretending to date to get an apartment? What could possibly go wrong? The Wangxian Story.

Wei Ying isn't into women at all, but she meets Lan Zhan at a party and there's just something about her that makes Wei Ying want all of her attention.

It’s been a long, confusing night, and Wei Wuxian can’t take any more. “Hug privilege?” he asks, his voice rising in pitch. “You guys are talking about Lan-laoshi, right?” Jingyi favors him with the kind of withering glance teens use to make adults feel like complete idiots. It works. “You think he can’t be kind to people? Just because you don’t want to be hugged by him.” “Shh,” Sizhui says. “Wei-laoshi isn’t like that. It’s none of our business.” “Hey,” Wei Wuxian says. “I like hugs.” “But these are heartbreak hugs,” Zizhen says. “Obviously Lan-laoshi is an expert in that. Since he’s really been there. Obviously.” A modern AU: Wei Wuxian is stunned when he comes back from sabbatical to find that fellow teacher Lan Zhan is suddenly the school’s unofficial relationship counselor (aka The Heartbreak Specialist remix)

More than anything, Yuuri wants to impress his cosplay role model Viktor Nikiforov, aka Nike Cosplay. But after a horrible start to a convention weekend, he panics and backs out at the last second to meet his idol. Normally this would be fine, except Yuuri discovers too late that there's a little Viktor related secret inside the con vlog his best friend filmed over the course of the weekend for him... It's fine, he thinks. Embarrassing, but not the end of the world. And it's not like Viktor himself will ever see the con vlog, so why worry? (Except then Viktor does.)

“I mean,” Wei Ying’s brain catches up to her mouth, “uh, isn’t that one of the points of modern art? Like everyone says, oh, a canvas that’s just painted all over in one shade of blue, that’s not art, I could do that! But then, yeah, like, you could! So, go on, do it!” Lan Zhan just blinks at her. Wei Ying can’t stand the silence, she has no choice but to keep speaking. “I mean, where’s the famale gaze? Maybe that’s what you should do for your dissertation.” “The female gays?” “Mhmm,” Wei Ying says, somewhat frantically, walking them towards the door to the next room. “Yeah, sure. You could do your own series or something.” Wei Ying and Lan Zhan go to a modern art museum.

Touching Wei Wuxian always felt like a little too much—the soft, light texture of his tails, the heat that radiated off of him into Lan Wangji’s water-cool skin. But when he did this—when Wei Wuxian grabbed him, when he touched him carelessly and artlessly, simply knowing that he could—these were Lan Wangi’s favorite touches. The ones that reassured him that, yes, this was real. Yes, this was something he got to have, despite all the impossibilities. “Attempt the impossible,” Wei Wuxian had said to him from the dock just three short days ago, before he had leaned in and let Lan Wangji kiss him. -------- Merji and Foxxian's love story. They find a way, and it is filled with flowers.

"Welcome to the Cloud Recesses, the oldest standing keepers’ establishment, a zone so well-protected by ancient magic that it’s impenetrable by unsanctioned bacteria. Whether you are a hopeful accepted to a keeper fellowship, a visiting finder who is here to deliver a new and exciting artifact, or a— [a string of giggles, followed by a full-on laugh] “Sorry sorry, I can’t, I just can’t! There’s no way such upstanding people are listening to this! Who might you be, dear listener?" Lan Wangji did not think much of this punishment when he assigned it to Wei Wuxian. As his world goes up in flame, its fate makes him reassess everything he has ever known.

Lan Wangji is standing in line, listening to the bright laughter of the man in front of him. The sound makes him feel an echo of something he can’t name. And then the man turns to glance behind him and their eyes meet, and Lan Wangji’s stomach drops. He’s suddenly somewhere else. He’s on the edge of a cliff, watching the man he loves fall. [Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian find each other in a new life and start recovering memories of their first one.]

"You were into him," Wei Ying repeats, then pauses pointedly, sharpening his resentment until it burns, consuming him from within. "More than you were into me." * The aftermath of a threesome.

okay so i'm gonna try to threadfic out my bingyuan concept. so i've talked before about binghe's fight with tianchui (sky hammer) (the big demon) in PIDW but let me expand on it a bit. (canon-typical child abuse cw) Latest tweet: https://twitter.com/kitschlet/status/1501039963269386242

“A-Ning,” he says, when Wen Ning picks up. “Does this—who, if you had a gun to your head, who would you say this was?’” “Buuuuuttt,” says the high-pitched tinny voice that comes through. He listens while someone, presumably Wen Ning, chases A-Yuan away from the phone. He must be on speaker. “It’s baba’s butt!” It's not like Wei Ying's mind was ever a comfortable place to live, but it's certainly not helped by the posters of his own naked body popping up around his neighborhood.

He knows that this is not that kind of intimacy, he knows that this is simply Wei Ying, in all his kindness, in all his hidden sweetness, saying thank you and goodbye. But his awareness of the warm body behind him, of the thin layers of fabric keeping their modesty only nominally intact, threaten to drown out all rational thought. Lan Wangji is trapped in the burial mounds for three days. It gives him time to think about what he wants.

Wei Wuxian does not want to be a hero. It's not his fault that his weapon is the only one that works against the resentful creatures that suddenly appeared in Yunmeng and the people there now believe he's a rogue cultivator who's come to save them. He is also not a woman, but he can't admit that he didn't contribute to this deceit a little bit. Wei Wuxian just wants to help and be left alone. --- “You want to go to Yunmeng? Didn’t you hear? They have an outbreak of ghosts!” “My nephew lives in Yunmeng, and he’s told me that there are demons walking around them!” “You don’t know what you’re talking about! They just have something poisoning their water, that’s all! All sects in the area are experiencing similar crises!” “I’m telling you, it’s demons!” The second man insists. “The Yiling Patriarch has come back to take revenge on the Jiang Sect!” Wei Wuxian chokes on his wine. --- Join Wei Wuxian in his adventure to defeat the resentful creatures that plague Yunmeng and save people!

He wakes up in a body he can't be sure is his own, and grieves for a life he must have once knew. Flowers wilt, and all things end, but the stranger with golden eyes remains where he was left behind sixteen years ago. Feeling lost and out of place in skin that’s just a little too tight, he finds solace in a stranger with the same goal; to find and prove Wei Wuxian's innocence. Canon-divergence where Wei Wuxian loses his memories when he's summoned to Mo Xuanyu's body, leaving him with nothing but a mistaken identity, a mystery and an unfortunate crush who won't stop comparing him to his dead boyfriend, the Yiling Patriarch.