Import

"Why are your advisors up your asshole about inviting me to the conference?" Jiang Cheng looks at him weirdly. "Because the whole thing is about how Hanguang-jun is ditching his job to go wallow in marital bliss or whatever. It would be rude not to invite you." Wei Wuxian blinks. Then blinks again, then says, "Sorry, what?" -- Apparently Jiang Cheng knows something that Wei Wuxian does not.

Lan Wangji steps into the circular array to inspect the pool. It looks like it’s filled with a viscous substance similar to blood. He's leaning over with his hand braced on the edge when a happy little fox yip from behind surprises him into dragging his hand across the stone, the sharp edges nicking him across the palm. He withdraws with a hiss, but it's too late. The array etched across the walls and floor flares to life. The last thing Lan Wangji sees before he passes out is his fox companion trotting over towards him, even as his silhouette starts to morph. - When Lan Wangji finally comes to, he's on the ground, flat on his back. It doesn't feel like he's hurt himself, although his mouth is a little dry. There's a makeshift pillow made of cloth set between his head and the floor. Strange. He doesn't remember the fox being able to do that. "Oh, good. You're awake."

Wei Wuxian tries to figure out how to ask for what he wants.

LWJ's Big Dick Agenda continues. Sometimes being massively sexually compatible is not enough. And you have to talk about your Feelings. And your Fears. It is the worst. A-Yuan is the best boi. He also knows a lot about dinosaurs.

“All for the Game,” Neil said solemnly, like this whole thing wasn’t utterly absurd. “It’s a dating sim.”

“So. Lan Zhan is an alien,” he stated. Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose, while Nie Huaisang snorted and turned back to his food. “Tell me about it.” or, wwx acquires alienji and bunyuan

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian calls as she rounds the left side of the cottage, fighting the urge to break into a run. She doesn’t want Lan Wangji to think anything’s wrong, but there’s an itch under Wei Wuxian’s skin. Probably nothing. She’s just so happy to see her wife that she can’t contain it. A familiar feeling.

There is a strange air of mystery around Mo Xuanyu, and no wonder: nobody knows where Mo Xuanyu comes from. All they know is that he is purportedly a chess genius, a rival to rival all rivals, but Lan Zhan knows there has only ever been one man who could truly rival him. Not even a man—a boy. Lan Zhan himself had been a boy at the time, barely seventeen. Wei Ying had been a bright spark, a flash of light in the dark. Their rivalry was the talk of the chess world. They would sit across from one another at tournaments, Wei Ying's cocky grin insufferable under the bright lights of the ballroom, his voice mocking: "What, Lan-er-gege, can't think of a countermove?" It's against the rules to talk. That had never stopped Wei Ying. Trebuchet: whoever has the move, loses

In all of Wei Ying's career with the Chinese Women's Super League, she hasn't managed to score once on Jiangsu when they've got Lan Zhan in the goal. After a fumble at last season's Championship Playoffs, Wei Ying's determination grows. This season, she'll score on Lan Zhan for sure.

the shenanigans and shared Google Doc of the junior squad as they set out on their very first investigation: the girl missing in the photo! -comment (Jin Ling): shouldn’t it be the missing girl in the photo -comment (Lan Jingyi): no cuz she’s not missing in the photo. she’s extra in the photo. she’s missing from the photo -comment (Jin Ling): what the fucks the difference -comment (Lan Jingyi): a whole ass preposition -comment (Ouyang Zizhen): i'm renaming the case

Affrettando: Italian; rushing or hurrying; musical direction for speeding up with a suggestion of anxiety Wei Wuxian always sets his own pace. Or at least, he tries to.

Tempo Rubato: Italian; Stolen Time; The musical practice of diverging from the unrelenting and gradual rhythm for a short period of time in a piece, allowing for solo freedom. Lan Wangji starts high school in perfect step with the rhythm of his uncle's expectations and his duty to his family. He doesn't quite stay that way.

There were three things of which Shen Yuan was absolutely certain. The first, that Luo Binghe was an irredeemable jackass. The second, there was a part of Luo Binghe, and Shen Yuan didn't know how large, that wanted Shen Yuan dead for trussing him like a pig and dumping him on his own front porch. And the third, that Shen Yuan was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Luo Binghe. P S Y C H !

Why do all the official lyric music videos have the lyrics in tiny font on a corner of the screen against an impossible to see background?? Goddamn I know artists are going for an ~aesthetic~ but I just want to read the lyrics without eyestrain

What everyone knows but no one acknowledges about Gusu Lan’s famed intersect cultivation lectures is that its true purpose is to allow the next generation of cultivators to make advantageous matches. What Lan Wangji knows that he is expected to find and marry someone his sect will approve of before classes end - a partner whose animal instinct will align with the Lan dragons' notoriously monogamous traditions and who will provide the Lans with a politically useful alliance. What he cannot acknowledge is the truth - that foxes are known to be seasonal monogamists who take each mate for a single season only; that he has fallen in love with Wei Wuxian, against what should be possible given their incompatible natures; that Wei Wuxian might be courting him too, despite the odds; and that if he bows to their mutual attraction, marrying him can only lead them both to misery.

“He’s got snacks and his sketchbook and a couple of quiet toys in there, and he can go to the bathroom by himself if you take him to it, and he likes to ask questions in new places, and-“ “Wei Ying.” “Right! Okay! God this is so weird. A-Yuan this is Lan-laoshi, be good for him please, he’s very nice. I’ll come pick you up as soon as I’m done, okay?” “Okay Baba,” A-Yuan says and then - so quickly it’s a surprise that his passing doesn’t make an audible swishing noise like a cartoon - Wei Wuxian darts into the lecture hall, leaving Lan Wangji alone with the scruffy bag and the not-nearly-as-scruffy toddler. Lan Wangji looks down at the boy, who looks back up at him, and he’s still far too adorable for his own good. “Your father is perhaps too trusting,” Lan Wangji remarks. A-Yuan seems to consider this for a long moment before he nods resolutely in a way that tells Lan Wangji he has no idea what he means. “May I carry you?” A-Yuan is quick to let go of his leg to reach up instead, so Lan Wangji reaches down to pick him up under his arms and hoist him onto his hip where he settles heavily like a sentient sack of potatoes.

“You’re so great! I think you’re super neat,” continues Wei Wuxian. “This is the worst confession ever,” mutters Lan Jingyi from Nie Huaisang’s right. He’s a bit inclined to agree. “You are…really cool,” finishes Wei Wuxian weakly. “Please consider…hanging out with me.” “Dating,” hisses Wen Qing, close enough to Wei Wuxian’s face that his mic picks it up. “What the fuck do you mean by hanging out?”

He leans in, brushing against Wei Ying's nape with his lips, the edge of his teeth. How delicate the skin here is, how paper-thin, how easy it would be to just… “L-Lan Zhan?” The room snaps back into focus. — Lan Zhan confronts his desire.

AU where Airplane notices Peerless Cucumber's tweet, "Airplane, I will pay all your bills forever if you hire a goddamn editor, you hack." and replies, on fucking main, "you fucking prommy?" and lands himself an editor and a sugar-gege all in one go.

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It takes Skull forty-seven near-death-experiences, twenty-two murders, eight poisoned meals and the enforced proximity of five remorseless killers to find something worth living for. Because the Higher Powers do so love their irony. In which the problem isn’t that Skull doesn’t know there’s something wrong with him, it’s that he doesn’t think it matters. [It’s that he decides he does.]

Lan Zhan, on the other hand, is a delicate flower from Shanghai, yet he wakes up every morning to go jogging around the campus in a tracksuit that Wei Ying is sure he would find sexy if he was ever awake to observe it. Wei Ying, in contrast, while technically the more winter-savvy, beat Nie Huaisang at fourteen days without leaving the hodge-podge of tunnels and walkways connecting the university’s sprawl, because Huaisang’s professor wouldn’t answer his email last week.

Wei Ying doesn't look away until Jiang Cheng groans beside him, "Don't start this again." "Don't start what again? I'm not starting anything. I'm not doing anything. I'm just standing right here, keeping my loser brother company," Wei Ying says, grinning widely. Somehow, Lan Zhan looks even better than Wei Ying remembers.

“You might as well get it over with. The question that everyone asks when you tell them you’re a defense attorney.” Wei Wuxian tilts his head, gripped by the sudden panic of failing an exam, and says the first thing that comes to mind. “Have you ever slept with the judge?” Lan Wangji stares at him. OR: wwx is the disgraced sort-of son of a movie star and lawyer!lwj agrees (against his better judgment) to be his fake boyfriend

When A-Yuan’s teachers come to collect the kids, Wei Ying feels his face do an astronomically dumb grin. The man recognises them and arches one very lovely eyebrow indeed. Wei Ying cackles. “Kindergarten teacher, you say?”

“What exactly do you need help with, Lan-gongzi?” Wei Wuxian asks. “There is a plant,” Lan Zhan replies, and he sounds hesitant and unsure, voice quiet. “There is a plant, once gifted to me by my mother. But it is dying, and I cannot seem to fix the problem.” To Wei Wuxian’s shock, Lan Zhan puts his hands together and bows as low as the table will allow him. “Please, Wei Ying, the plant is all I have left of her. People speak wonders of your abilities, I will offer whatever compensation you seek for your assistance.” Wei Wuxian, a lone cultivator who's said to be able to bring plants back from the dead, is visited by a Lan cultivator with a curious and secret request. They fall in love.

When Lan Zhan moved into Gentian Cottage, he was looking for a quiet home and a fresh perspective on life. He didn't expect his new home to be occupied by a ghost who was anything but quiet, or to be pulled into a century-old mystery. Lan Zhan is about to discover that the world is stranger than he'd ever imagined and romance isn't just a genre on his bookshelf.

"Go on, then," the Asshole says. “Take your drink and toast to our families’ enduring friendship.” Before Lan Wangji can move, Wei Wuxian lifts the flute of overpriced champagne to his lips and tosses it back like a shot of cheap whiskey. As he sets the empty flute back on his tray, he blinks innocently at the Asshole. “Oh no, it looks like I’m all out.” [Wei Wuxian is a server at Lan Wangji's birthday party. Jin Zixun is an asshole. The night takes an interesting turn.]

✈️: i mean it's already My Brand for really good dick to change people ✈️: maybe mobei's meat popsicle awakens something in him 🥒: i hate you so much.

“You’re very generous, yl,” he murmurs in a manner he hopes comes across as sultry rather than pathetic or coquettish. In the history of this stream, the words that follow have never fallen from his lips. He’s not sure why they spill from his mouth now. “Is there anything you might like to see today?” Lan Zhan has tentacles and moonlights as a camboy. Wei Ying is his biggest fan. Then they meet in real life.