Import

Sometimes, in the long evenings, Xie Lian tried sending messages even knowing that San Lang wouldn’t get them, they bounced back undelivered. San Lang, she typed, and pressed “send.” Undeliverable, the message came back.

It came back to him in fits and starts. The glow of the array. The strange heat in-between his eyes. The fan that had snapped in two in Shen Qingqiu's hand. “Move away from him,” someone had told Shen Qingqiu, but Shen Qingqiu hadn’t. Luo Binghe had tried to tell him it was alright. He'd had trouble talking through the pain in his head, but he'd tried. Shizun had already suffered so much because of Luo Binghe. Because he had tried to protect him. He remembered, distinctly, the sharp, clear sound of Xiu Ya being drawn.

Pretty coasters

Demon Emperor Luo Binghe marries not one but TWO beautiful, accomplished, powerful human peak lords. But with all of the harem intrigue that Shen Qingqiu definitely paid careful attention to while reading Way of the Proud Immortal Demon Tyrant, how will he fare in competition with the proud and beautiful Liu Qingge...?

"Well," Wei Wuxian said, not even attempting to hide his smile. "It seems your reputation precedes you." Lan Zhan made a bit of a face at that, then gave an almost imperceptible sigh. "So it would seem." He set Bichen down next to himself. "I wonder if I will enjoy anonymity in the next town we pass through." "Well, it's your own fault," Wei Wuxian said reasonably. "If you didn't insist on saving everybody in the world, you wouldn't have this problem."

“Lan Zhan, ah, Lan Zhan, do you really want to kiss me so much?” Wei Wuxian laughs, but not unkindly. He pours Lan Zhan chrysanthemum tea and passes him the cup, watches him down it in a single swallow. “It is not only for that reason,” Lan Zhan says once he regains composure. He picks up another mouthful of noodles between his chopsticks and brings it up to his mouth. “But yes, I do. I always want to kiss Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian knows it’s not only about that. Lan Zhan’s meals growing up were silent and restrained, and more often than not solitary. That’s why, Wei Wuxian supposes, he’s so intent on being able to share. A treatise on sharing meals and kisses in six parts, told over a year of wandering.

"That was an exhibit," Lan Zhan said after a moment. Tarbosaurus bataar, the gem of the Museum of Natural History's collection. "It was," Wei Ying said smugly. "And now it has feathers!"

Hidden Track masterpost. AU where they're in a band and Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian fake date for ~reasons~

Is it really so different to skate for joy than for obligation? Yes, it turns out. The rink is cold, empty, and, vitally, silent. The ice is so fresh it’s almost hard to skate on, the sort of ice that makes someone want to fly. Lan Zhan does a quad lutz just for the sake of it, just to prove to himself that he can. He lands it. Of course he does.

Zhou Zishu spots him while he's waiting for Han Ying to return with their orders.

Vongola's heirs never die, so there is never a need for their last resort. Tsuna makes a life for himself and ends up the long-suffering personal assistant to one Hibari Kyoya. By the time Iemitsu finds him, he doesn't need Vongola, but there are still a few things that need to be resolved and a few people who still need him.

Lan Zhan stops before him, standing stiff and straight. He meets Wei Wuxian’s eyes—glaring! He’s glaring at Wei Wuxian! Wow, he hasn’t done that in a while! “I spoke with Lan Jingyi today.” “Okay,” Wei Wuxian says, arching his eyebrows. He knows Lan Jingyi can be a handful, but really, he’s not that bad. “I’m sorry?” “He told me that you have not been eating.” Wei Wuxian chuckles. This is not the appropriate response.

“Is that weird, Lan Zhan? We don’t even know each other that well, but I just feel like...I do know you.” “You do,” Lan Wangji agrees, barely voiced. His heart hammers. “I want you to. And I…” He almost tells Wei Wuxian he loves him, right there on the couch on their canceled first date, just barely managing to stop himself before the words leave his mouth. Lan Wangji keeps his public self separate from who he is when he is alone. Wei Wuxian unwittingly smashes through that boundary. Surprisingly, Lan Wangji does not regret it.

for after I finish Mister Impossible

“She had thought she would spend the whole day wondering where she went wrong. Instead, Itachi’s tired eyes reflected her own.” . . . The night of the Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Miho perished under the hand of her brother. She didn’t expect to wake up, much less as an infant - again. (SI!OC who tried and failed… and now had the unwelcome chance to try again.)

A smile spreads across Wei Ying’s face. He has a long and extensive list of Favorite Gifts From Lan Zhan, and at the very top of the list are nights like this. “Lan Zhan? Sleepwalking again, huh?” Lan Zhan looks up at him, eyes open but unmistakably glassy, and continues methodically peeling stalks of celery. “Mn.” -- Five times Wei Ying says how he really feels while Lan Zhan is sleepwalking, and one time Lan Zhan is awake to hear it.

Everyone knows that Wei Wuxian died before the Sunshot Campaign even began. Everyone knows that the Yiling Patriarch is a huli jing, a trickster fox spirit, that practices demonic cultivation for nefarious purposes. Everyone knows that there’s no way a righteous sect, let alone the hidebound Lan sect, would accept the Yiling Patriarch into their clan. ...Everyone is wrong. Or, when the notorious Yiling Patriarch marries Hanguang Jun to save the Wens, nothing in the cultivation world will ever be the same again.

So there was this jar, and it had so much peanut butter still in it, and when his fox nose scented it and didn’t catch any poison or spoilage, what was he supposed to do? Not avail himself of this gift? No. He shoved his delicate little snout right in there and got to licking, but, you know… Elegantly. Definitely not snarfing and making horrible little fox sounds and rolling around on the ground while he went ham on the jar. Sure, he had to work a little bit to get at the last of it, but anything good is worth working for, right? So finally, triumphant, no longer starving, and maybe a little thirsty now from eating half a cup of peanut butter in about two minutes, he’d tried to remove his head from the jar. Operative word tried. Or: Wei Ying gets stuck. Lan Zhan helps.

During one of his last missions for Tian Chuang, Zhou Zishu runs across a fox caught in a trap. Sick of all the blood he's split, he figures that helping a poor creature will at least amount to some good. He did not expect the fox to latch onto him like a limpet. And become his wife. An expanded series from my Cookie Jar collection.

Three months. He’ll stay three months. Just long enough for that shrimpy Zhang Chengling to wean into this new world, and then he’ll leave. Just three months he’ll allow himself that brassy, beautiful line cook, who barked the most flirtatious insult at Zhou Zishu as he charged down the cracked asphalt with a towering pallet jack of wholesale soy sauce boxes; his voice magnetic like an army general’s, clear above the rumbling gallop of his condiment fleet. - chaperoning a new orphan across the Pacific runs into complications.

really cute dice

Greek god memes

The house stands lonely against the dying day, the sky golden-orange at the horizon. It’s beautiful, in the same melancholy way that Lan Wangji tends to stare out into his little garden, the bunnies hopping around. It’s supposed to be a simple case—a haunted house. Lan Wangji is familiar with the feeling. It’s the same gasping thing that’s been sitting in his chest ever since he had buried his heart. It’s not a simple case at all.

Math Books you should read in 2021

"...until it’s weeks later and he’s peeing on a stick at 3 am because holy shit, what the fuck. And then he attempts to not cry into the phone and the dude who knocked him up is like ‘I really don’t care what you do about it’ and ‘It’s probably not even mine’ and slut shames the omega. That, Jiang Cheng, is how someone gets fucking pregnant.” He finishes, removing his hand from Jiang Cheng’s mouth only to jab a finger at him. Jiang Cheng looks like he wants to self immolate and/or possibly murder someone. In the meantime, their waitress has arrived and looks like she wants to quit her job and run away to live in the woods. Wei Ying relates. “Well then,” The waitress starts, clapping her hands together and very visibly pretending like the entire restaurant didn’t just witness what happened, “Can I get you guys anything to start? Drinks? Appetizers?” Wei Ying is leaving her such a big tip. Or, sometimes you get knocked up and then fall in love with the super hot Lan boy who swoops in to save your ass.

Lan Xichen squeezes his arm once and lets go. Lan Wangji tries not to miss the warmth as the man continues, “Do not worry, Wangji. We have invited Young Master Wei and I am sure that he can help us break the curse. If there is anyone in the world whom I trust to do it, it is him.” All of a sudden, recognition sparks at the surname. It catches him off guard, after everything that happened in the short span of time, the familiarity in the name grips him with hope. Lan Xichen stood and Lan Wangji raises his head and speaks, almost without thinking, “Wait.” The smile on Lan Xichen’s face falters. “What is the matter?” “Young Master Wei,” Lan Wangji repeats even though the words do not fit his mouth right. It feels wrong even though he does not know why. He needs to know why. “What is his name?” A night hunt leads to Lan Wangji forgetting everything except for his cultivation and his inexplicable connection to a person he cannot even remember - Wei Ying.

Two attempts at being together, and everything that happens in between. Or: Wen Kexing is not Zhen Yan any more. That boy is dead.

The weekend of last year’s Rostelecom cup, Yuuri Katsuki declared his love for fried pork in a press conference, got caught by paparazzi rescuing a dog from a river, revealed a short program costume that showed off his multitude of soulmate marks, and broke Viktor’s world record. All while being, objectively, the cutest human being on the planet. The entire skating world–– including Viktor–– fell in love instantly. Or: a soulmate au where the first time you touch your soulmate(s), colored marks appear on your skin. Yuuri has more marks than Viktor’s ever seen on someone. Viktor has none.

"Is that something that Wei Ying would like?" Lan Wangji asks softly, carefully, "To be kept?" There's that fleeting, lost look in Wei Ying's eyes once more, and Lan Wangji thinks it's unacceptable - That Wei Ying had not felt welcomed in his own home, so much so that he decided to wander the world away from it. So much so that he is afraid that he would be unwelcome as well elsewhere. Lan Wangji barely stops himself from hissing, from letting the steam of his icy breath escape in the close air between them. He only vaguely remembers the Jiangs, a young Cultivation Clan barely a century old, but his disdain towards them feels ancient now in the wake of all this. How foolish of them, to simply let go of someone so bright, someone so unfailingly kind and giving. How convenient, for Lan Wangji's own gain.

“Perhaps I should tell you—” Lan Zhan begins, and then stops. “Tell me…” Wei Ying prompts. He knows exactly what’s coming—I’m dating someone, I have a boyfriend. I’m married, maybe. Lan Zhan had never seemed like the marrying type, but he could have changed his mind. So that’s where Wei Ying’s thoughts are when Lan Zhan says, “I’m an eco-terrorist.” Wei Ying chokes on his drink. — Exes Wei Ying and Lan Zhan meet by chance after seven years. They learn how to fit into each other's lives again.