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"Victory belongs to the most persevering." Mo Xuanyu doesn't know what could possibly be more persevering than putting down the knife, and deciding to live one more day. Getting himself forcefully bound to an incomplete ritual is... tedious, and an annoyance that forces him to stay alive long enough to neutralize it. At least, with Hanguang-Jun and his two juniors strong-arming him into letting them help, it should be resolved... uneventfully. It should be. So why is his past suddenly catching him at every turn?

Having reached the end of his rope, Mo Xuanyu offered up his body to the spirit of the Yiling Patriarch in return for getting vengeance on his maternal family. He thought he'd be dead, his soul dissolved into nothingness. Instead, he's sharing his body with the soul of the Yiling Patriarch. As they make the best of this situation, they end up on the road of finding the body parts of a mysterious ferocious corpse with the highly regarded, and incredibly handsome, Lan Wangji. But what else will they uncover about each other on the way? ---- Wei Wuxian cupped his chin in thought, a small hum pursing through his lips. Well, despite your ill intentions in summoning me, you still brought me back. I didn’t ask nor want to be, but now that we’re in the same situation, it’s better to help each other, no? I still want to ask how you came across my research notes later, I haven’t forgotten that. Mo Xuanyu zeroed in on the sense of indifference that Wei Wuxian expressed. Indifference was fine, and seemed to be the source for how easily Wei Wuxian accepted their current circumstances. …Making the best of things. Okay. I can understand that.

god i’m not even through one episode of paranormal home inspectors and it rules, this lady thought she was being haunted by the wails of the restless dead but she was just listening to raccoons fuck in her attic psychic: these are hieroglyphics… the spirits are trying to communicate… home inspector: you put new paint over old paint and now the old paint is bleeding through, that’s why you’re not supposed to do that homeowner: my daughter’s room is always cold… cold like the dead… home inspector: you put furniture on top of her heating vent business owner: i got locked in the bathroom even though the door has no lock home inspector: it has a lock. the lock is right there. on the knob.

To his unbridled horror, Wei Wuxian sees his face up on the giant screen in real time for the entire stadium to see. Still laughing as his face takes a moment to catch up with the sheer mortification he’s feeling, A-Yuan perched on his shoulders as the Lan Wangji cape drapes over them. There’s also commentary. “—scenes from the stands here, this dad and his son making for an adorable twosome all decked out in support for local hero Lan Wangji—” “—Speaking of, our man seems to have taken a little tumble—” Wei Wuxian finds Lan Wangji on the field. The ball is nowhere near him but he seems to have fallen inexplicably backwards, sitting on the grass as he looks up at the giant screen. Right up at the footage of him. (AU where A-Yuan is professional footballer Lan Wangji's biggest fan, and his babysitter Wei Wuxian wants nothing more than to forget his days as the photographer of their school football team, calling out to the captain from the stands just so he'd look around at him.)

Pretty nail polish

Ugh, I have to do everything myself around here. Can't find a single Self-Insert as Bakugou Katsuki fanfiction, so here I am, doing God's work. (cowards)

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.” He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing. “Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. Or: The story of a marriage.

Pretty crowns and hair accessories

Pretty lamps

The library at the Cloud Recesses contains every book anyone could ever need, unless that person has anything resembling a libido. For all that the Lan Sect prizes education and encourages a strong sense of self, it seems to completely neglect any understanding of human sexuality. For Lan Wangji, who has spent about half of his life in love and never had any idea what to do about it, this lack has become unacceptable. With no other ideas of how to solve this problem, he reaches out to an old acquaintance for help, and gains all that he asked for as well as a strange new friendship. Or, a Repressed Gay calls up a Chaotic Bi to learn how to fuck his dead not-boyfriend.

“Wei Wuxian ignored Jiang Cheng’s hysterical yell, the whispers that had suddenly broke out around them, the scandalised looks of the Gusu Lan disciples — or the way Lan Qiren’s face paled in a mixture of shock and horror — and pulled back, peering into Lan Wangji’s face. His face which, Wei Wuxian suddenly realised with mounting dread, was a lot younger than he remembered it being.” Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji end up in their younger bodies mid-way through the events at Guanyin Temple. Wei Wuxian isn’t about to let a little issue like that — or the numerous other people surrounding them — stop him from confessing his love.

It starts with a wedding invitation.

“So all you have to do is ask Jiang Cheng to ask Zewu-Jun to ask Lan Zhan to let me be his secretary at Cloud Recesses for three months!” This way, when Wei Wuxian has to play the part of a lawyer for his new drama, he’ll know exactly what to do! * Disgraced actor Wei Wuxian has a plan to rebuild his career. Esteemed lawyer Lan Wangji wants someone else to handle his office calls. It’s a match made in office heaven.

Cangse Sanren was the first of her kind to become a cultivator. Talented, passionate, free-spirited, she bested everything that ever came her way until the very end. Jiang Fengmian refuses to see her son deprived of that same freedom. alt link: https://izanyas.com/2020/05/03/atc-prologue/ (author took down ao3)

having now worked directly with wild seals I need you all to know they are some of the most bastardous creatures in the entire animal kingdom. we’ve all been so wrong. they look cute and fat but they are so fast and they have SO many teeth and they know how to scream and they aren’t afraid to do it don’t get me wrong I love them deeply. They’re amazing animals. But we’ve been calling them stuff like “sea puppers” when in fact they’re more like if a cat weighed 300 kilos and had the intelligence of a toddler & the morals of a seagull

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?” “Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.” “There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly. In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I am trying to see things in perspective. My dog wants a bite of my peanut butter chocolate chip bagel. I know she cannot have this, because chocolate makes dogs very sick. My dog does not understand this. She pouts and wraps herself around my leg like a scarf and purrs and tries to convince me to give her just a tiny bit. When I do not give in, she eventually gives up and lays in the corner, under the piano, drooping and sad. I hope the universe has my best interest in mind like I have my dogs. When I want something with my whole being, and the universe withholds it from me, I hope the universe thinks to herself: “Silly girl. She thinks this is what she wants, but she does not understand how it will hurt. THEORIES ABOUT THE UNIVERSE by Blythe Baird

Neil is nothing and everything all at once, the entire universe for Andrew, however small of a universe that is. Even Aaron is starting to see it, though the pieces still don't line up. And Andrew is trying to convince Aaron that he's never jealous? Yeah right. You don't spend your entire life being denied, being hurt, going through foster care with nothing to call your own only to be okay with someone else trying to take the one bright piece of life you call yours. Or, Aaron is done with Andrew's shit and makes it his job to prove his brother wrong.

The world is dying. It’s slow, it’s long; the last bloom of life on Gaia won’t happen for decades, for centuries. But it is dying and something must be done. It takes everything the planet has to reach back, to change something; just one thing, one small thing, one hope to change the path of the world completely. It drains the planet of the last of it’s will, but it works. 1989: Nebelheim, Western Continent; Ada Strife enters ShinRa’s Yule Relief Contest when once she'd ignored it. And wins. It changes Cloud Strife's life completely. AKA: President Shinra is a slut and inadvertently saves the world, Rufus just wants his baby brother to be successful, Cloud is still determined to be a SOLDIER, and Vincent has no idea who thought it was a good idea to put so many maladjusted children in charge of everything.

All Harry Potter ever wanted was to finally be accepted as someone other than an incurably criminal boy. A fresh start in Slytherin - which, admittedly, does seem to have a worrying proportion of goons - seems to be just what he needs to make some lifelong friendships. And if that life happens to be an immortal one, all the better. It's too bad that the high-pitched voice in his head has other ideas.

wangxian au where wei wuxian shitposts an ad to be hired as a gremlin boyfriend for family gatherings and lan wangji replies to him, seeking his services.

Wei Wuxian is unpresented when he first sets foot in Yunshen Palace and sets his eyes on Gusu's chivalrous, dashing, though weirdly stone-faced second prince. Lan Wangji has just come into his alpha instincts when he first takes to court and catches the scent of sunshine on a pretty, friendly, also incessantly noisy stranger. It's the start of a beautiful friendship (courtship). Probably.

Leaving YunmengJiang in an effort to curb the tensions in the Jiang family, Wei WuXian becomes a rogue cultivator. Even without the support of a sect, he is a rare genius whose name will become known across the cultivation world and whose techniques will influence the course of a war. However, what influences his own fate is a chance meeting that becomes the first step toward love.

Wei Wuxian sits up a little further. Then instantly regrets it. “Go to bed, Jiang Cheng,” he groans. “I’ll live.” “Will you?” Jiang Cheng says. “Because if you die in my guest room, Gusu Lan will have my head.” He and Jin Ling really are the same person, sometimes. Wei Wuxian considers pointing out, again, that he is nowhere near dying, but he lets it go. He’s tired. And it’s apparently not helping. “Not all of Gusu Lan,” he says mildly. “I think the elders would send gifts.” (Or: an unexpected stay in Lotus Pier.)

Conceding to love is not admitting defeat. (In which there is an arranged marriage with at least one unwilling party. At first.)

“So on Saturday night, while you are having the time of your life on a date with your hot, hunky, handsome soulmate, I have to go on a date with a rich young master who sounds like a literal stick in the mud whilst pretending to be you?" Mo Xuanyu's family has set him up on a blind date with a rich young master after learning he is gay. However, he already has plans for that night. Instead of going on the date himself, Mo Xuanyu enlists Wei Wuxian to go as a substitute. Wei Wuxian must act like his best friend for the night before kindly turning down Mo Xuanyu's date. Only, Wei Wuxian finds out that turning down Mo Xuanyu's date is possibly the hardest thing he has had to do in a long time.

"Mr. Wei,” Lan Xichen greets, sounding amused. “To what do I owe the honour?” “Do you happen to know where Lan Zhan is? I’m waiting for him in his classroom but he hasn’t come back and it looks like he left in a hurry. He even left one of his rabbits behind!” Lan Xichen says nothing for long enough that Wei Ying wonders if the line dropped. He glances at his phone. The call is still ongoing. “He left one of his rabbits?”

Wei Wuxian wants nothing more than to be a good friend to Lan Wangji. A great friend. His best friend. What more is there for Wei Wuxian to want?

“Uncle,” Jin Ling says. “Just because Uncle Wei - I mean, Wei Wuxian - just because he’s leading the night-hunt, he’s teaching, he’s not doing anything wrong, he even notified you ahead of time -” The thing is, it is the polite thing to do. Whatever the Lan Sect are after in the night-hunt doesn’t have anything to do with Jiang Cheng, but now that they’re about to enter Yunmeng, it is the polite and proper thing to do, to notify the sect leader of the fact. The letter is simply such: letting Jiang Wanyin, the Yunmeng Jiang Sect Leader, know that they’re here. It’s simply - official correspondence. Maybe that’s the part that rankles the worst, Jiang Cheng thinks. Official correspondence, written to him in a hand more familiar than his own.

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.