I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’ article that said she was dating harry. I would be like HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT! she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility. “Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum “Of course, Harry is so lovely” - Fleur Delacour “I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” - Cedric Digory (does not like to lie) “He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house “At the same time” - Fred and George Weasley “Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” - Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified. “Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood “Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” - Ginerva Weasley. “He made us gay” - Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.
Champion Chapter 1, a harry potter fanfic | FanFiction
The war is much larger, far longer, and much deeper than they could have imagined: fought on a scale that baffles the limits of human understanding. In such a world, perhaps it isn't surprising when Hermione Granger is sent back in time to rescue Tom Riddle's soul before he has the chance to destroy it. Rated M.
Let Perpetual Light - tehtarik - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
In the village of Godric's Hollow, the Dumbledore family is falling apart. Kendra Dumbledore is dead under mysterious circumstances, and Albus is the unwilling guardian to his wayward brother Aberforth, and Ariana, their mad sister in the attic. But everything changes with the arrival of Gellert Grindelwald, violently charming juvenile delinquent with an obsession for the fabled Deathly Hallows.
the thing that pisses me off about 50 shades of grey isn’t that it’s twilight fanfiction, it’s that it’s bad ooc twilight fanfiction. the implication that edward would be into bdsm is so fucking dumb he’s a 100 year old virgin who cried and went into a week-long depression the first time he fucked bella he wouldn’t even consider the idea of fucking her until they were married because he didn’t want to compromise his virtue and you’re telling me he’s a dom? no, edward cullen has the most boring vanilla sex ever the only thing unconventional about the way bella and edward fuck is that bella tops and edward cries the whole time and bella gets fed up and goes to the other house to fuck rosalie and edward cries some more in his room alone
Give In To The Game - waroftheposes - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
“Question,” Adams says, his voice soft. “Do you derive some sort of pleasure from barging into my place of employment and interrupting my work?” His words are reproving but he continues smiling and his thumb gently brushes against Ronan’s chin. “I derive pleasure from seeing you,” Ronan says, his gaze fixed on Adam's grease stained fingers.
Don't Fuck With Florists (They'll Fuck You Up) - MayMarlow - Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling [Archive of Our Own]
Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life. Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artifacts, no matter how interesting those artifacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street. What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.
The Ravurian Cantos — hi! i saw your post about men being exhausting and...
and this man looks at me, and tells me sexual harassment doesn’t happen, because he doesn’t see it. and here’s the thing: that’s not why i’m mad. i’m not mad because he didn’t know. i’m mad because i know this man. he is my friend’s father, he is my father, he is my uncles, he is my professors, he is my cousins, and my bosses, and my colleagues. i know how you have to talk to these men. it’s a game. and you have to play along whether you want to or not, because they won’t hear a word you say if you don’t. here’s how the game works: john talks about everything like he’s the authority on the matter, because he can’t get it through his brain that someone, especially someone who is not a man, could possibly know something he doesn’t. so john starts talking about things very confidently. and because nobody knows everything, he gets a lot of things wrong. things that i refuse to let him be wrong about. so if i want to change john’s mind, if i want him to hear my point of view, i have to speak to him in the only way he will listen. i have to be, above all, pleasant. john has been taught for
cut the head off the snake - itsthechocopuff - Naruto [Archive of Our Own]
when eighteen-year-old, post-war Sakura is thrown back into her tiny, pre-Academy body, she makes a decision. she'd had a childhood once already, and this time, she's more interested in Not Dying when the inevitable shit hits the proverbial fan. so she will work harder, care less, kill more, and smile when she's done. and hey, if she ends up reviving an extinct nature transformation to attract the most corrupt, power-hungry man from her timeline, all the better for her, right?
This isn’t hope though - EtoileGarden - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
Ronan has never brought up his soulmate, ever. Adam is willing to forget he didn’t wanna talk for this, even if the topic itself makes his skin crawl. “How long?” he asks. “Since I was three,” Ronan says, “or at least, that’s when I knew the words. I’ve grown up knowing I’m skinbound.” Adam exhales loudly. Can’t imagine how that feels. Knowing that you’re perfect for one person in particular, and then, going years and years without. “I don’t know why that’s so shitty,” Adam lies, “sounds better to me than never knowing.”
Every Kiss Was a Stitch In Their Fabric - Chapter 1 - EtoileGarden - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
Soulmates marks AU This story contains references to child abuse, to self harm, to attempted suicide. “It’s ok, Gansey,” Adam says, miraculously finds himself no longer upset at the topic at hand, finds himself letting his tongue move freely, “I get it. It’s exciting. I’m - I’m happy for you - but - “ “But?” Gansey says, shifts his gaze to look at Adam, eyes narrowed and keen. “My soulmate is dead,” Adam says simply, shrugs his shoulders
Toast every goddamn day., seriousjones: tired of hearing about how saturn...
tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why - “tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious - the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd - huffy “i don’t care” - nitpicking the logistics of something impossible - horrible mental image - ends very angrily
(The Time It Takes) To Believe In Fate - LydiaStJames - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
When he was 16, Adam walked into a forest in Henrietta, Virginia and exited in 1800s Ireland. The day he spent with the grumpy but attractive farmer lingered with Adam for years, but the forest didn't seem like it would appear again. That is, until Adam returned to Henrietta for his father's funeral and the forest calls him back once more. To Ronan.
In the beginning, there were only the Gods. Aeons untold passed as they drifted aimlessly through the Void, until they grew bored with this state of affairs. In their infinite wisdom they brought i…
wanna lift this curse - pendules - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
It's not a secret, not really; they don't decide to not tell anyone. It's just — no one else needs to know. It's just theirs, whatever it is. He's not ashamed or afraid. He thinks it might disintegrate if exposed to sunlight, and he's not ready for that. Not yet. Or: The one where they hook up sometimes. And it's all casual, obviously.
There and Back Again - nikkiRA - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
Ronan noticed him at first because Adam Parrish stuck out like a sore thumb. At first he had wondered why he had even come, but he should have known better than anyone (sitting in a car next to a guy he hardly knew embarking on a totally unnecessary road trip) just how impossible it was to say no to Gansey.
I'm an Empathetic Drunk, Ok? - EtoileGarden - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
Ronan probably needs to get his shit together. The gangsey's all at University (well mostly all), and are fitting together into a different sort of puzzle this time round.
A Faint Noise of Acquiescence - EtoileGarden - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
“That was quick,” Michael observes as Adam comes out of the bathroom. He tugs his earphones out, and takes in Adam’s expression. Adam suspects it’s a grumpy one. “Or - it didn’t go as planned?” “I thought our agreement was that we listened to loud music and didn’t ask questions whenever one of us was having sex,” Adam grunts, drops himself down at his desk. “Sure,” Michael grins, “but you don’t look like you got any. And I mean, less than video getting some.” “His cows are calving,” Adam grunts, “he had to go.” “Oh,” Michael says, “my thoughts are with you in this trying time, Adam.”
flowers slipping from your hands - admlynch - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
The AU where Adam and Ronan sleep together and Adam wakes up to find Ronan gone.. but there's dream stuff all over his room? and then when Adam moves in with his college friend Gansey a few months later whoops that guy he slept with is now coincidentally his other housemate? ft. trying to hide ronan's dream shit
Cute Backpacks Waterproof Backpacks Animal by LeaflingBags on Etsy
Leafling® Bags is a handmade, small batch accessory line featuring waterproof backpacks and shoulder bags with a cute leaf inspired design. Our love of nature and the outdoors helped us to create bags that are both useful and stylish, expanding to now offer several woodland animal designs as well!
The Lady and the Knight Chapter 1, a labyrinth fanfic | FanFiction
Sarah's made a great life for herself, but Jareth has a problem. Will Sarah help him? What will it cost her if she does? J/S *Tiny Shirtless Jareth included*
A Misplaced Stone — the harry potter books rated by Harry's Sass™
the sorcerer’s stone: dudley asking harry if he wants to practice sticking his head down the toilet and harry replying “no thanks, the poor toilet’s never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick” like ooo!!! sick burn!!! good for an 11 year old but overall still in the developmental stage. 6/10 the chamber of secrets: dudley (once again lmao get rekt) telling harry “i know what day it is” and harry replying “well done, so you’ve finally learned the days of the week.” lockhart trying to be all Amazing Teacher™ and shit and telling harry “just do what i did, harry!” and harry saying “what, drop my wand?” overall good but not with as much of an Oomph™ factor as the sorcerer’s stone. 5/10 the prisoner of azkaban: ah yes!!! Harry’s Sass™ in its adolescent years!!!! no longer a toddler, now solidly about 11 years old. draco making fun of harry for fainting at the quidditch game bc of the dementors and saying “shame [the broom] doesn’t come with a parachute - in case you get too near a dementor.” and harry replying “pity you can’t attach an extra arm to yours, malfoy. then it could catch the snitch for you.” 8/10 purely because he fucking MURDERED whiny bitch ass baby malfoy ha ha take that the goblet of fire: a good amount of sass!! a healthy amount of sass! perhaps a bit held back though (come on harry get it together). rita skeeter annoying harry and asking for a word and jk rowling LITERALLY writing “‘yeah, you can have a word,’ said harry savagely. ‘good-bye’” like FUCK he is canon savage in this book!!!! DAMN!!!!! and then he reks malfoy AGAIN “you know that expression [your mother’s got], like she’s got dung under her nose? has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?” MOTHERFUCK GO OFF 9/10 the order of the phoenix: HOLY GRAIL OF HARRY’S SASS™. THE MOTHERLOAD. GOD DAMN. when vernon asks him why he’s listening to the news again and harry replies w/ “well, it changes every day, you see.” when hermione’s warning him about picking fights w/ malfoy bc malfoy will make life hard for him and harry’s like “wow, i wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life” like fuck harry!!! tell us how u really feel!!!! literally ANY TIME he talks to an adult he doesn’t like. sassing dudley left & right, putting him in his place w/ “this is night, diddykins. that’s what we call it when it goes all dark like this” like fuck harry brought out the big guns w/ “diddykins”. overall wonderful, truly. a good healthy teenage dose of sass. 100/10 the half blood prince: SHIT DO I EVEN NEED TO SAY ANYTHING EXCEPT “THERE’S NO NEED TO CALL ME SIR, PROFESSOR” LIKE FUCK. BEST PART OF THE WHOLE BOOK. OF THE WHOLE SERIES. FUCKING OWNED SNAPE HE’S FUCKIN REKT LYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING DRINKING SOME CHEAP ASS DISGUSTING ASS FIREWHISKEY. BREAKS THE GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING SCALE SO FAR OFF THE SCALE IT’S ON MARS. INFINITY/10. FUCK. the deathly hallows: “it’s time you learned some respect!” “it’s time you earned it” sassing the minister of magic hooooooo boy. not much else bc harry’s too busy like saving the world and shit. so extra points for multitasking and being an overall well rounded sass-er. 8/10
5 things my mother never taught me: when even the wolves will not look at you as though you are worthy of being devoured count yourself lucky the universe is ever expanding don't let anyone tell you there is not room for you here you are not the space you leave behind wanting power does not make you a bad person it is not hard to be hungry when you have lived your life off crumbs from their table he is not midas you have always been golden
Fifteen Ways to Stay Alive By Daphne Gottlieb February 12, 2010 1. Offer the wolves your arm only from the elbow down. Leave tourniquet space. Do not offer them your calves. Do not offer them your side. Do not let them near your femoral artery, your jugular. Give them only your arm. 2. Wear chapstick when kissing the bomb. 3. Pretend you don’t know English. 4. Pretend you never met her. 5. Offer the bomb to the wolves. Offer the wolves to the zombies. 6. Only insert a clean knife into your chest. Rusty ones will cause tetanus. Or infection.
darling, don't make such a drama - shinealightonme - Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater [Archive of Our Own]
"Straight answers are boring," Cheng says, "and yes I do mean that for all values of straight. I do not need Ronan to share his tragic backstory, I would much rather deduce it on my own." "Who says I have a tragic backstory?" "With your fearsome glower and troubled good looks? If you did not have a tragic backstory it would be a waste."