Me: *throws you down a pit* You: my leg's broken Me: I'm sure you have proof. I'll wait You: YOU THREW ME DOWN A PIT Me: so sick of people always bringing up pits You: YOU THREW ME DOWN ONE Me: wow victim card much You: A PIT Me: that talk's exactly why you got thrown down a pit

"I had this vision of the future — a ruined empire, run by number crunchers, squalid and stupid and puffed up with phony patriotism, settling for a long slow decline."

"We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. "

"Barack Obama held onto your Nintendo collection while you were in France."

One guy's attempt to influence the policy decisions regarding global warming. An introductory video and dozens of supporting videos designed to anticipate every counterargument and criticism.

How children hear the conversation of adults. "GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry."

"I put out an open call for people to write speeches for President Bush... A group of five students, ages 7-10, from Rooftop Elementary in San Francisco accepted the challenge. Upon receiving their humorous and thoughtful contributions I had the speeches

Using words from politician's speeches to cover popular songs.

"'You're part of their strategies. You are partisan hacks.'"

On why The Daily Show is successful and important: "'This is big because there is this gigantic imbalance and something has got to fill it. ... Young people get the attitude, the deflationary truth-telling attitude of these shows...'"

"If George W. Bush were to die during his second term (say, by being eaten by Zombie Reagan)..."