CA
Talking about her own experience, Dr. Ramani explained that she has multiple people in her life that she doesn't speak to anymore and is completely fine with not forgiving them.
"I don't forgive them. I will never forgive them," she said. "I will never forgive them because what they did, it changed my view of myself. I spent years crawling out from under that rubble. I still doubt myself. I still don't feel safe in the world. They took away my safety. How do you forgive that?"
A real adult has four characteristics: 1) emotional regulation 2) self-compassion 3) clear boundaries with themselves and others 4) sense of self-worth/feeling good enough
Cultivating these characteristics in yourself takes time and patience. Go slow without the expectation of perfection.