Passage from screenshot of book:
> > How could love be anything other than a rapture? "You should date," my mother says. "Meet someone nice." As if there's any correlation between this force, this feeling, and dating.
> > Oh, the interchangeable men on the Google Calendar-Chris, Pete, Rob, Malcolm-like so much bland litter; taking Ubers and Lyfts to restaurants and bars; doing the math to split the bill and match the tip with men who own bicycles more expensive than their furniture, men who are oddly puritanical about hops and vegetables, men who are boastful of their neuroses the trauma, the therapy, the meta-therapeutic rejection of therapy. One told me in earnest that it was important that I know right away, from the start, that he hated his mother. I just nodded over my Korean short rib, sipped my orange wine. Men so weak that I have to break up with myself for them. Sperm on crutches, Grandma Rose would've said.
yatharth ༺༒༻ (@AskYatharth) on X
one of the things i'm wrestling with today is the idea of coming home from work and feeling "entitled" to not helping with setting the dishes, being present and active in evening duties, and so on
I’m glad people are learning that the cost of community is annoyance / inconvenience/ sharing your space and things. More of this realisation please.— martha (@mxmsworld) March 11, 2025
Tyler Alterman on X: "On Finding Your People: I’m told I have an unusual talent for finding wonderful people. Below is my strategy for having a rich social life in any large city Disclaimer: This will require you acting in a way that is not normal. You may need to decide whether you want to be normal" / X
I’m told I have an unusual talent for finding wonderful people. Below is my strategy for having a rich social life in any large city
Disclaimer: This will require you acting in a way that is not normal. You may need to decide whether you want to be normal…
— Tyler Alterman (@TylerAlterman)
my best friend is 47 with a newborn, a toddler, two dogs and a husband. i just spent a week at their house. it should have been chaos but it was total serenity. the delightful beast of a toddler tried my patience but over and over her mom had the winning response. i am just /1
— Melissa Mesku (@MelissaMesku)
I've been feeling very under-nourished in my male friendships recently
Thread on dearth of emotional investment in platonic male friendships
kasey on X: "#1 rule of hosting: Nothing—absolutely nothing—matters more than *who* you invite to the party (call it a party or not, you’re hosting a party). Who you invite sets the parameters of who your guests will meet, what kind of conversations they will have, and how they will feel." / X
Nothing—absolutely nothing—matters more than *who* you invite to the party (call it a party or not, you’re hosting a party). Who you invite sets the parameters of who your guests will meet, what kind of conversations they will have, and how they will feel.
— kasey (@kaseyklimes)
Dr. Nicole LePera on Twitter
At the foundation of dysfunctional family dynamics is denial. Everyone must remain in denial to keep the relationships going. Waking up would mean we have to mourn the story of our family in favor of the truth.— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) November 25, 2022
Dr. Nicole LePera on Twitter
Childhood trauma doesn’t just come from what you experience, it’s also about what you don’t experience. Here’s some examples:— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) October 11, 2022
Meg Wise, “this woman” ☕️ on X: "I’VE STUDIED IT!! This is going to be long and it’s going to contain some homophobic content due to the nature of the cultures talked about so proceed with caution. Christianity does a huge disservice to gay men and straight women & sets them up for failure in multiple ways. +" / X
I’VE STUDIED IT!!This is going to be long and it’s going to contain some homophobic content due to the nature of the cultures talked about so proceed with caution. Christianity does a huge disservice to gay men and straight women & sets them up for failure in multiple ways. + https://t.co/36nRFI5UoG— Meg Wise, “this woman” ☕️ (@_nomadic_soul) April 10, 2024
Visakan Veerasamy on Twitter / X
replies are a great example of how health is invisible to the healthy https://t.co/DIXv7cS6Eh— Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) February 3, 2024
christian on X: "what's the best strategy for finding people who are intellectually curious, physically and mentally healthy, fun to go out with, good professionals, and with good character?" / X
Visakan Veerasamy on X: "tell me a random detail about a cool older friend that you admired when you were a teenager? (wanna piece together a composite portrait of the cool big sis/bro archetype, for fiction purposes)" / X
keta on X: "this feels like an indictment on a shifting nature of friendship and social circle dynamics…. i care less about the absolute numbers but there must be a more insidious reason for why more people aren’t being introduced through mutual connections" / X
Visakan Veerasamy on Twitter / X
thread on modern dating
miri on Twitter / X
Cleo on X: "I’m still a bit hurt by someone who ended a friendship with me with the grievance that “being around you makes me feel insecure”. It took me a while to realize that my lifestyle challenged a victim mindset they subscribe to and I don’t indulge. Misery doesn’t like my company." / X
Trying to avoid being this
(1) stud enthusiast on X: "a year long situationship not crazy right" / X
𝙰𝚍𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚍𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 on X: "Falling in love should feel like an irrefutable proof of the existence of God and like a testament to His benevolent genius. Nothing about it is ambivalent or half-hearted, I am not 'of two minds' about her, I am unequivocally hers, forever, until my life is over. Period. 1/ https://t.co/cBW3dCuXLh" / X
Bentalope on Twitter / X
The reason this often doesn’t happen is because they actually *can’t* discuss issues with their partner bc it devolves into their particular pattern of miscommunication and blame.— Bentalope (@behaviorben) December 3, 2023
yatharth on X
this is already obvious to some people, but weddings are community events. they are fundamentally about a introducing a union to a community that will hopefully support them
Shajedul Karim on X
@sashachapin yeah, it's like hitting the relationship jackpot, right? when you find someone who not just meets your needs but eagerly explores how to elevate your happiness constantly.
it's a two-player game where both are trying to win for the other.
wild, wonderful, and oh-so-rare.
Sasha Chapin on X
Omg, you can have a relationship where your partner is actively and intelligently and inventively striving to meet your needs on an ongoing basis, wtf
christine on X
I’ve been thinking about beginnings of a relationships— how you start a relationship will be brought up over and over again, as people ask you “how did you guys meet?”, or as you reminisce on the early days. It sets a tone and framework for how you could view the relationship,
Ava on X
forget look gaps or iq gaps can we talk about interestingness gaps in relationships
Ava on Twitter
forget look gaps or iq gaps can we talk about interestingness gaps in relationships— Ava (@noampomsky) October 20, 2023
Love Pilgrim on Twitter
it can be helpful to discuss with your friends which energies specifically are being exchanged in relationship, what you each are giving and receiving, how that feels, and what, if anything, wants to be shifted— Love Pilgrim (@tasshinfogleman) October 15, 2023
Sherry on Twitter
Dating is not meant to last: It either ends in marriage or it ends. Long, conflict-avoidant relationships that are dragged out in lukewarm confusion and kept for the sake of comfort rarely have happy endings. Be decisive, be wise, be serious, don’t rush, and have eyes wide open. https://t.co/MkVax1bGkS— Sherry (@SchrodingrsBrat) October 12, 2023
Alexander on X
This tweet shares a thread about a study which found that both physical attractiveness and nonverbal expressiveness (charisma) predict how much people like each other when first meeting and after several weeks of acquaintance. However, charisma becomes a more important factor over time as people get to know each other better.
Jessica on X
One issue with "I'll just date a secure person" as a strategy for people with insecure attachment patterns is that the early dating process with a secure person actually feels a lot *less* secure than it does with someone who has complementarily insecure attachment patterns.
Jessica on Twitter
One issue with "I'll just date a secure person" as a strategy for people with insecure attachment patterns is that the early dating process with a secure person actually feels a lot *less* secure than it does with someone who has complementarily insecure attachment patterns.— Jessica (@jessicamalonso) September 3, 2023