Dr. Nicole LePera on Twitter
Childhood trauma doesn’t just come from what you experience, it’s also about what you don’t experience. Here’s some examples:— Dr. Nicole LePera (@Theholisticpsyc) October 11, 2022
festive goblin ⊙v⊙ on X: "spent the weekend with a bunch of highly agentic people and now i've got a bunch of thoughts about agency" / X
notes on agency
brian🧃 on Twitter
“Why does it seem like the more inner work a person does the less likely they are to maintain a relationship”
Vanessa Kisuule thread on perpetual singledom
“Will probably delete this but want to post for those who feel similar because it's maddening thinking you're the only one/one of very few. I am very sad about but making peace with the fact that romantic love is sthg that eludes some of us for reasons we cannot know or control.”
I am very sad about but making peace with the fact that romantic love is sthg that eludes some of us for reasons we cannot know or control.
whilst many people go in and out of relationships on some miraculous, regular wave, some of us have that happen rarely or not at all.
It is just bad luck. And luck can ofc turn on a dime. But it can also just go on like that, reliably & laughably shitty, for years or even decades. You can make yourself sick with hope, waste time & energy with your antenna raised whilst simultaneously pretending not to care.
This anxiety has generated a multi billion dollar industry of books/events/courses/apps claiming to have an answer. Attempts are made to lace singledom with some semblance of dignity or even gravitas. But we remain a species addicted to the salvation of romantic love.
The solutions peddled by apps & self help gurus work for some. But there is another experience, another rambling path: sad, difficult, ghostly, formative & continually humbling. Undisturbed, you learn to truly hear yourself and the tide of your thoughts, for better and for worse
The term relationship STATUS speaks volumes. It's as much about ego as anything else, wanting to signal to the world that s/o has freely elected to give your their time, care & attention. In lieu of meaningful community ties, this is the last bastion of relational safety.
It pierces you like a shard of glass some days: except for cursory hugs and handshakes signalling hello & goodbye, you haven't been touched, meaningfully, for months or perhaps even years.
You smother your libido such that sex reverts back to the slightly silly and gross act it seemed like when you first heard about it as a child. Better to be mildly disgusted by it than ache for it every day.
I'm not under any delusions about partnership. Like anything, it can be anti-climatic, banal, exposing, violent. Even when its lovely & loving, life still finds other ways of sneaking in its sucker punches. I know this. But still.
We each have our story of exclusion, our own private gulf of shame. Let it grow, not shrink, your heart. Its this sense of lack, the very thing that makes you feel hideous, that builds your empathy. We each have our crosses to bear and we must do so with grace & good humour.
Please don't send me platitudes or assurances that it will happen or that I am lovable/desirable. Those things are certainly true in abstract and I know that. I want to talk honestly about the feeling without people rushing me towards a solution or soothing balm.
I never used to let myself acknowledge the weight of sadness I felt around this. I thought it was above me & the brilliant life I've built. Too basic, too pathetic! But breaking news: I am made of the same soft, jelly-ish needs as anyone. Hate that for me tbh, but there you go.
Sometimes I wish it were an organ, this longing. Then I could neatly & efficiently cut it out of my body. The world is so big, so gorgeous, replete with issues that deserve our focus. I want to stop thinking about this so I can apply my full self to anything & everything else.
Visakan Veerasamy on Twitter
working harder, getting increasingly heated/angry, past a threshold where its not working, will typically make things worse. everything gets more knotted and tense. overwhelming the bottleneck https://t.co/EP69fo5ZwE— Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) June 9, 2023
derek guy on Twitter
“I once heard a bespoke tailor suggest this is increasingly common in modern society because people have desk jobs, so their legs are weak. He said his clients who do manual labor have the opposite posture: knees slightly bent and hips back.”
Visakan Veerasamy on Twitter
Adler: the strongest person in our culture is the baby. The baby rules over the adults with his weakness. And it is because of this weakness that nobody can control him— Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) September 6, 2018
charlie T on Twitter
ok so understanding what bedtime procrastination ~is~ is like,, moderately helpful but are there decent treatments for it? how do i induce a feeling of having done enough with my day that i can allow myself to go to bed— charlie T (@rhymeswithvocal) December 19, 2022
Max Hertan on Twitter
“Bryan Johnson sold his company to PayPal for $800 million in 2013.
Since then, he's been investing millions to reduce aging.
In 2021, he reduced his epigenetic age by 5.1 years in 7 months (World Record)
Here’s a breakdown of his “Blueprint” and my own experience with it: 🧵”
![Thread by @patio11: "Some people really benefit from hearing advice that everyone knows, for the same reason we keep schools open despite every subject in them h […]"](https://rdl.ink/render/https%3A%2F%2Fthreadreaderapp.com%2Fimages%2Fscreenshots%2Fthread%2F936615043126370306.jpg?width=350&height=&ar=&mode=&format=avif&dpr=2)
Thread by @patio11: "Some people really benefit from hearing advice that everyone knows, for the same reason we keep schools open despite every subject in them h […]"
Thread by @patio11: "Some people really benefit from hearing advice that everyone knows, for the same reason we keep schools open despite evein them having been taught before. In that spirit, here's some quick Things Many People Find Too Obvious To H […]"
Companies find it incredibly hard to reliably staff positions with hard-working generalists who operate autonomously and have high risk tolerances. This is not the modal employee, including at places which are justifiably proud of the skill/diligence/etc of their employees.
Startups are (by necessity) filled with generalists; big companies are filled with specialists. People underestimate how effective a generalist can be at things which are done by specialists. People underestimate how deep specialties can run. These are simultaneously true.
The hardest problem in B2C is distribution. The hardest problem in B2B is sales.
Your idea is not valuable, at all. All value is in the execution.
nobody serious will engage in contract review over an idea, and this will mark you as clueless.
Tim Urban on Twitter
Twitter is an anti-compassion machine that stokes our tendency to dehumanize and even hate people we don't know personally. Four little exercises I use to combat that and crank up the compassion in my mind:— Tim Urban (@waitbutwhy) November 4, 2022
MoFrank MoProbs on Twitter
Rewind to July 2021Roomie meets a guy at a concert in Denver. They hit it off… He tells her that he lives in Dallas, but doesn’t work because he’s a “trust fund kid”, and was going to stay in Denver for a few days because he’s so interested in her— MoFrank MoProbs (@MorganAlexaRose) October 15, 2022
P on Twitter
For our first date, I booked and Airbnb with a private rooftop and hot tub down on South Beach (bc Florida was the only place open). We had our own private “circuit party,” did naked karaoke on the beach, danced and partied with random women, and ate everything in sight— P (@p_blade_2) October 10, 2022
David Perell on Twitter
28 short pieces of life advice:1. Block off 90 minutes in your calendar every morning to work on the most important thing. Wake up early if you need to. Don’t compromise.— David Perell (@david_perell) October 3, 2022
Visakan Veerasamy on Twitter
both parties made mistakes here (though obviously the guy is the one that looks far worse)1. never ask why someone doesn't want you2. never explain why you don't want someonefocus on what you want, not what you don't want https://t.co/nYC8yFthwj— Visakan Veerasamy (@visakanv) August 30, 2022
VIERA on Twitter
12 ways to hack your dopamine to stop feeling tired and unmotivated:— VIERA (@itsandrewviera) June 25, 2022
Alex Liu (劉祥天) on Twitter
He talks about the first decade in the US as simply "always feeling like he was a moron." Few helped him learn a new language and culture. He doesn't talk about it—but I sense it was very traumatic for him—and the racism came from all sides.— Alex Liu (劉祥天) (@alexanderxliu) June 19, 2022
visakan veerasamy on Twitter
someone asked me for a reading list of my threads about increasing agency, so here are some...— visakan veerasamy (@visakanv) May 25, 2022
visakan veerasamy on Twitter
A thing that's slightly counterintuitive about social reality, and particularly internet social reality, is that "Dunbar constraints" don't apply. You can radically change your experience by radically changing the way you behave and the people you talk with. Make alts, etc— visakan veerasamy (@visakanv) October 9, 2018
visakan veerasamy on Twitter
so like, a lot of people are shitty managers of their own brains. i'm sorry its true. it's not even really your fault, you weren't taught better. this species is a fractal of shitty management all the way up and down.and all the cliches of bad managers apply internally as well— visakan veerasamy (@visakanv) June 9, 2021
visakan veerasamy on Twitter
this is true for people IRL, too. the best thing I learned from my ex-boss wasn't any single insight or truism, but *his way of being*. He's calm in the face of conflict & difficulty, sincerely believe that it's possible to know things, and do things, and to change for the better— visakan veerasamy (@visakanv) October 9, 2018