Posts

we gotta keep twitters heart pumping QUICK if ur on a date and the man opens the door but the woman pays the bill but her baby father only bought HIS kid mcdonald’s bc her plates were low vibrational and the baby is the grandma WHAT is your body count?! https://t.co/lo2UOXzY35

Us tomorrow when Twitter is still up and running https://t.co/z1vykWqzm2

to save twitter we have to put on a SHOW

Hundreds of Twitter employees have resigned ahead of the ‘extremely hardcore’ cultural reset of the company Elon Musk was scrambling to try and get top engineers to stay Remaining employees expect the platform to start breaking soon (via @alexeheath) https://t.co/W8pZTEqVUb

when the Swiftie Security and Support Act gets passed and i end up getting renaissance floor tickets for 19.99 https://t.co/oicoaQ5IYo

bat signal for @chrismessina

couch: oh honey you are sooo tired bed: no she’s not! She isn’t actually

US Constitution. Amendment 14. Section 3. 🇺🇸 No person shall be a President or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. #TrumpAnnouncement https://t.co/8eRRug9YmS

Amazing https://t.co/wQU9xdi3Xj

https://t.co/hInoFWoyYT

I am blocked by a man named CatTurd2 on the internet, making it considerably harder for me to figure out the business strategy of the richest man in the world. https://t.co/yA7Z8KgUmp

in case your brain works more like ↕️ than like ↔️ @jedimody has whipped up *vertical* split view would u use? 🤔 https://t.co/7Q1m8YQ2fb

First day 💙💙💙 https://t.co/0Gp1jvVpzk

bro what is going on at twitter https://t.co/tmqOUG5Tzv

Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal dressed as Fleabag and the Hot Priest for Halloween https://t.co/Qxcop7lNBm

apparently they didnt turn off 2-factor authentication but they DID turn off the service that sends you the 2-factor authentication code. so if you log out and try to log in with an authentication code you simply wont receive one. lol. lmao https://t.co/CoTqonsagG

he tried to warn us https://t.co/I7pbVjrh28 https://t.co/jhDQZGlvuM

Last night my fiancé was high on mushrooms and i asked what he was thinking about and he said "ants" and then after concentrating a bit he went "The ant world"

@bklynb4by 😭😭😭 https://t.co/qWXtBA7A3i

me when my son “sid” comes home from school and i made him his favourite scandinavian dinner “yülüke” https://t.co/fjY73SglhX

i keep getting this ad for this dress where nobody on this set had ever seen a guitar before and it’s making me feel crazy https://t.co/uhwmFYqV6g

https://t.co/ERcz9sv0Am https://t.co/XNCq3N8OPU

Crewnecks now live 🚶🏻‍♂️ https://t.co/qNjAobuCmu https://t.co/WsWwSIJDaH

So, word around is, @elonmusk has ordered his Ireland workforce back to Dublin by Monday Or Else. There is litterally not enough housing in Dublin for them to do so. https://t.co/vkvwSeX9wd

Sam Bankman-Fried created a secret back door in FTX’s system so that he could secretly steal money from the company. Nobody knows where it went. When asked about it SBF said, and I quote, “???” https://t.co/ruAKE70fNP https://t.co/aY9wDDcW9B

ava duvernay couldnt use martin luther king’s real speeches in selma (2014) cause steven spielberg owns the rights to use mlk’s life and words in films . thats rubbed me the wrong way ever since i found out https://t.co/FqwG3R6TiT

My job gave me this https://t.co/erSyCfvK6X

This is exactly how I feel when I drink lattes https://t.co/ksCqvR1JsJ

Another US election, another "Land doesn't vote, people do" style map showing the election results. https://t.co/XmMTSUKJof

👽 https://t.co/fmOqPEBsdk