Posts

A Brief History of Nobody Wants to Work Anymore 🧵

feel like every 5th uber should be free. like punchcard

@BadBrainSD @catriona0721 @punishedgarage Well she thought she did but... she actually voted for Biden because she couldn't tell her vegetables apart.

@i_zzzzzz @BrandyLJensen The Wikipedia entry does NOT disappoint. https://t.co/tsbIQEVCqO

i have a bomb in my purse https://t.co/Ns6enFCSdT

Thinking about the erotic thriller film where a young man gives Jennifer Lopez a priceless "first edition" copy of The Iliad https://t.co/cWjTbdKFS9

Here’s a grid magnification effect in SwiftUI. https://t.co/2zO1RDQbeO

https://t.co/TQA3V0Q8JV

Me when i flip my pillow over and there’s a green question mark on it https://t.co/phIWSnqfme https://t.co/9SURcuFzco

The Boys is Girls but for boys

bus driver just pulled away from this slow old lady and the vibe shifted amongst the passengers. we all turned against him in that moment

me and björk were a problem in downtown reykjavik last nite omgggg 🤦🏼‍♀️

(Bjork at McDonalds) I have McGreedle…

what sorts of important things do you shoot as a second unit director on a film like THE BLACK PHONE, you ask? (sound on) https://t.co/RLvDM5n1OB

Oh Naur https://t.co/7vrkD7Dm81

Padmé Amidala’s crotch withstands 14,432 newtons of force (2002) https://t.co/5forem3SpC

every book is called 'the tiny things we know to be small' or 'the darkest wife'

@HeroicViewer all her shit was on the curb. the roaches were already showcasing the house to new tenants. a tornado was on its way. Ezra Miller was in town. her Nintendo DS (camera) was on 15%. Millie HAD ONE CHANCE https://t.co/xhhAQ3zo8K

"And who the hell are they?" MY FUCKING STOMACHSJFJDJSJS https://t.co/W9Yekii1b2

GOD: So there's just one rule... EVE: https://t.co/OrzEqj0mfh

Crying they locked her in the Fortnite item shop https://t.co/9h4JhCRYln

Thank you for everyone who tuned in so far! I also want to share that my first debut graphic memoir is coming out in March and is open for preorders—also drawn 100% in Procreate :-) https://t.co/UsmAM0pqRu https://t.co/S42Zf7bEWn

I be merging my friend groups for a plan based on like oh they’re both white ?? Yah they’ll get along

American food, everything from bread to sauces, is full of sugar and various crappy oils. Wean yourself off agribusiness slop, then go and eat your average hamburger bun. It'll taste sweet to you. Americans are so used to all the corn syrup, they don't taste it anymore. https://t.co/paRnoOeLJR

the group of guys guarding the subway entrance just threw an empty water bottle at my head but they missed ☝️😂☝️

niggas said im more important than biden https://t.co/AtL39O6Gym

just spent all morning writing a cover letter for a job posting that was taken down within the past 24hrs

...and here is my pregnant wife thinking she is sneaking up on me 😂😂😂 https://t.co/fLjGoRLItD

If I text you “👂☝️” it means you’re telling me now for the first time.✋😔🤚 She led an amazing life. What else can you say. She was an amazing woman. Whether you agreed or not. She was an amazing woman, who led an amazing life. I'm actually sad to hear that.

*dances on rooftop with joy* https://t.co/d1AeWRMEAG