Posts

GOD: So there's just one rule... EVE: https://t.co/OrzEqj0mfh

Crying they locked her in the Fortnite item shop https://t.co/9h4JhCRYln

Thank you for everyone who tuned in so far! I also want to share that my first debut graphic memoir is coming out in March and is open for preorders—also drawn 100% in Procreate :-) https://t.co/UsmAM0pqRu https://t.co/S42Zf7bEWn

I be merging my friend groups for a plan based on like oh they’re both white ?? Yah they’ll get along

American food, everything from bread to sauces, is full of sugar and various crappy oils. Wean yourself off agribusiness slop, then go and eat your average hamburger bun. It'll taste sweet to you. Americans are so used to all the corn syrup, they don't taste it anymore. https://t.co/paRnoOeLJR

the group of guys guarding the subway entrance just threw an empty water bottle at my head but they missed ☝️😂☝️

niggas said im more important than biden https://t.co/AtL39O6Gym

just spent all morning writing a cover letter for a job posting that was taken down within the past 24hrs

...and here is my pregnant wife thinking she is sneaking up on me 😂😂😂 https://t.co/fLjGoRLItD

If I text you “👂☝️” it means you’re telling me now for the first time.✋😔🤚 She led an amazing life. What else can you say. She was an amazing woman. Whether you agreed or not. She was an amazing woman, who led an amazing life. I'm actually sad to hear that.

*dances on rooftop with joy* https://t.co/d1AeWRMEAG

Hi astronomer here 👋 Those are actually just dots 👍 https://t.co/IzNmbFBI0G

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Maybe if you had a fucking pepper plant you were passionate about you would know what it takes to run a fucking pepper plant but you don't https://t.co/uf73HZzlxa

someone please take me to see lea michelle in funny girl

photos aren’t great i could have done him right https://t.co/bVCdsg8jWR

the working woman's Timmy Chalamet https://t.co/yDOijbya9V

this how y’all look on ecstasy https://t.co/wU6vvAnEJh

I live on 40th street, but my friend lives on 45th! Manhattan: ⬆️ Chicago: ⬇️ Philadelphia: ⬅️ Brooklyn: ↙️ Queens: 🔃♒🔀🌪️⏬🚇↩️

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joe biden is one of the presidents in US history

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everyday i wake up i feel this magnetic pull on my tongue which opens my mouth and pushes me around my living room seeking out this man’s asshole like two fluorine atoms on the electronegativity scale https://t.co/67CygeLlV6

u go to find out when you should stop quarantining and the cdc website is like "honestly im down for whatever haha no pref on my end!! what are u up for??"

Niche but she’s so good https://t.co/pkXmvWVUxd

me explaining how i'm going to move to new york with rapidly depleting savings and without a job https://t.co/n6CL4f0Zqu

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when my parents ask why the dishes haven’t been done https://t.co/XCCPd0TAAe

Today is my last day as the guy who spins Kamala Harris around 25 times before pushing her into the room for her interviews. It has been an incredible opportunity and I’m sad to leave it.

Semen retention has me drawing sacred geometry again https://t.co/n3KA3T9qKG