Posts

u go to find out when you should stop quarantining and the cdc website is like "honestly im down for whatever haha no pref on my end!! what are u up for??"

Niche but she’s so good https://t.co/pkXmvWVUxd

me explaining how i'm going to move to new york with rapidly depleting savings and without a job https://t.co/n6CL4f0Zqu

https://t.co/h8l8howlbc

when my parents ask why the dishes haven’t been done https://t.co/XCCPd0TAAe

Today is my last day as the guy who spins Kamala Harris around 25 times before pushing her into the room for her interviews. It has been an incredible opportunity and I’m sad to leave it.

Semen retention has me drawing sacred geometry again https://t.co/n3KA3T9qKG

a marvel movie going 17 seconds without a joke https://t.co/9cePUKZJSd

her whole discography is literally like "i want to sip her like fine wine and worship her body like a temple even though god forbids it......he said"

I love how in academia you go for a two day interview, meet every faculty member, students and deans, have lunch/dinner with a few of them and then they just ghost you. You would think the least they could do is write you an email to let you know you didn't get the position.

I lied. I don’t like sex. Put your clothes back on. I’m going to explain to you the underlying lore of Stardew Valley, including the war.

Start your day by reading this incredible 1976 James Caan Playboy interview https://t.co/gyVlCO8jx9

imagine farting on the bridge https://t.co/rLDsg40AS7

If you aren’t wearing a mask in public, you are likely going to get BA.5. If you are wearing a surgical (or heaven forbid cloth) mask in public? You are likely going to get BA.5. If you are wearing a non-fit tested n95? Your risk is reduced, but still significant.

david fincher watching andrew garfield's audition tape for the social network https://t.co/OeQ65JgQIf

This shit so insidious https://t.co/9p8eD9k7bn

Elon Musk sexually harassed a flight attendant, one of his kids never wants to talk to him again, and he kept two other kids he had with an employee a secret. The fact that legions of young men are worshipping this guy is really tragic.

In case anyone else is a sunscreen nerd and hasn't heard the gossip yet: there's a new $9 clear gel sunscreen at Trader Joes that's allegedly the same formula as the $20 Supergoop one. It's completely clear, so no white cast, and a beautiful, silky texture.

whispering “lin manuel mirandafication of taika waititi” to myself as i rock back and forth on the floor

trying to find the clothes on the heaven marc jacobs site https://t.co/vgX9NQVXyg

Her: “You must be the entirety of the SpongeBob SquarePants pilot in twitter thread form if you think we're fuckin” Me:

this looks like one of those mobile game ads w insane plots😭 https://t.co/TdhEOGhLyO

Tough but fair. https://t.co/FjX53hkG9k

me for the first 23 mins of every video game before i realize there’s a run button https://t.co/AWuurFwdpH

@DrOz . Dr. Mehmet Oz humble home in New Jersey. Man of the people. Pennsylvania first. Wonderful Wizard of Oz understands the blue collar men and women. . https://t.co/87OIv8iVjA

A sneak peak into Aaron Rodgers room https://t.co/oJcdq7d3ME https://t.co/B4yMLpARMX

By saying things like “they’re rapists, they’re murderers” “grab them by the pussy” “it’s time to take ‘our’ country back” “there’s bad guys on both sides” (when literally one side is nazis) “proud boys stand back and stand by”

Every rational American on the left and right knows these are lies the problem isn’t so much us- it’s extremist leaders in the Republican Party like Trump and others who don’t counter these lies and may not be saying them as directly but reinforce them with their rhetoric.

Customers will say shit like "Uhh it's asking me to remove my card?"

This segment is a bit unhinged (as Tucker goes sometimes) but it's also a very revealing look into his formula for fomenting rage, and how Fox works. The way he does it is instructive: 1. Here is Democrat doing something I find immoral (twerking upside down on the beach) https://t.co/PYrPyBLDUE