Open Society

“Terroir, if you think about it, is really just an identity.”

Embodied People + Environment = Regulated Outcome & Potential to Thrive Beardon's (2017) famous equation, 'Autism + Environment = Outcome, ' is really important to consider when working specifically with autistic people but I think a version of this can be applied to everyone. If people are embodied and their environment meets needs there is a better chance of people being regulated and being able to thrive. Offering spaces and bubbles of co-regulation throughout the day in ways that work for and with people can help create a sense of safety and belonging. Being regulated and feeling connected is a human need we all have and deserve so we can thrive.

Parallel play and joining in an activity alongside another person (child or adult) can be a really nice low-demand way of showing an interest in another person's activities. Parallel play and sharing penguin pebbles can create a sense of belonging, mutual understanding and love. Sharing things that bring you joy and sharing things that you know also bring another person joy is a way of connecting. Examples of penguin pebbling include finding little things that bring you joy to share with someone else. This can be anything from twigs or stones that you come across on your walk to listening to music together, sharing memes online or creating time for your child to share their junk model creations or to watch their new gymnastics or dance shows. Creating little bubbles of co-regulation in the day together can help restore and rebalance everyone's sensory system and energy levels and support regulation.

For people who may be feeling dysregulated, co-regulating needs adults to be a 'space holder'  Aldred (2023) for their children. Offer space and time for them to be with you in a way that works for them. Being with people may have a different meaning for neurodivergent people to a neurotypical understanding of what 'being with' someone means. For neurodivergent people, 'being with' may not mean actually being with that person in a shared space; it may not mean playdates, meals out, or organised activities together. Being with someone may be more of a felt presence that some one 'gets them' rather than an actual activity for some people. Co-regulating with people means being with people in ways that work for their physical, social and sensory needs. It may be more a shared knowing and understanding that another person is 'with them' although not necessarily next to them as that may be overwhelming for some people. For example, joining an online game, sharing music in a chat room or knowing you are each happy being in your own dens/spaces in your house can all be meaningful ways of co-regulating. For other people and younger children joining in alongside one of their favourite activites, TV programmes, sensory play activities can be really helpful. Being with people is about understanding people's true needs for their own time and space and each person knowing they are there for each other. Co-regulation needs to happen throughout the day and not be used as a behaviour management strategy only when a person is in crisis. Co-regulation is not just about adults being calm around children who are dysregulated, although that certainly helps! As adults, we need to try and offer moments of being with children in ways that are meaningful for them throughout the day to increase togetherness time, which will support regulation, reduce crisis and also bring some glimmers and joy into the day!