Oh, definitely not; they don't have Amazon Prime.

Programming the sexbots to enjoy sex seemed a sensible move at the time, but we didn't realize the consequences of their developing fetishes.

'Why don't you just point it at their eye directly?' 'What is this, 2007?'

Remember, meteors always hit the tallest object around.

If you close an account while it's still friends with people, it contributes to database linkage accumulation slowdown, which is a major looming problem for web infrastructure and definitely not a thing I just made up.

Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. There is no road out of this oblivion; we must embrace it. We must join with the darkness. Ba'al the Annihilator offers us no happiness, no answers, naught but the cold embrace of the void. To imagine any other end is delusion. We must give in to the will of Ba'al, for he will one day consume us and our world alike. I therefore call on Congress to fully fund space exploration, and to join with Ba'al, the Eate...

Ahem. We are STRICTLY an Orbiter shop.

This message brought to you by the Society of Astronomers Trapped on the Surface of a Sphere.

Better change the URL to 'https' before downloading.

Or that I'm at least following the curve of the Earth around to land ...

I have never been lied to by data in a .txt file which has been hand-aligned.

It's ok, they'll always let you opt out! Like they did with the YouTube real name profile thing.

And it doesn't pop up a box every time asking you to use your real name. In fact, there's no way to set your name at all. You just have to keep reminding people who you are.

Maybe we should give up on the whole idea of a 'back' button. 'Show me that thing I was looking at a moment ago' might just be too complicated an idea for the modern web.

I hate when people take photos of their meal instead of eating it, because there's nothing I love more than the sound of other people chewing.

'It has a ghost in it. Take it back.' 'No.'

Protip: You can win every exchange just by being one level more precise than whoever talked last. Eventually, you'll defeat all conversational opponents and stand alone.

'Automating' comes from the roots 'auto-' meaning 'self-', and 'mating', meaning 'screwing'.

What I really want is to hang out where I hung out with my friends in college, but have all my older relatives there too.

Stay warm, little flappers, and find lots of plant eggs!

And thus was smallpox introduced into the previously Undying Lands.

To whoever typed 'why is arwen dying': GOOD. FUCKING. QUESTION.

It was finally destroyed with a nuclear weapon carrying the destructive energy of the Hiroshima bomb.

I guess it's a saying from the Old Country.

As best as I can tell, I was transported here from Earth Prime sometime in the late 1990s. Your universe is identical in every way, except for the lobster thing and the thing where some of you occasionally change your clocks for some reason.

In a cavern deep below the Earth, Ayn Rand, Paul Ryan, Rand Paul, Ann Druyan, Paul Rudd, Alan Alda, and Duran Duran meet together in the Secret Council of /(b[plurandy]+b ?){2}/i.

If you fund my Kickstarter ...

I asked a few friends whether they'd had this happen, then looked up the popularity of their initials/names over time. Based on those numbers, it looks like there must be at least 750,000 people in the US alone who think 'Sure, that's probably my email address' on a regular basis.

The LEGO Group is already the world's largest tire manufacturer.

A few minutes later, the goat from behind door C drives away in the car.