For some reason, my childhood suspension of disbelief had no problem with the fact that this ancient galaxy is full of humans, but was derailed by language. There's no Asia OR Europe there, so where'd they get all the Indo-European roots?

If you're 15 or younger, then just remember that it's nevertheless probably too late to be a child prodigy.

I tell my children 'it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.' I'm trying to take the edge off their competitive drive to ensure that I can always beat them.

Although not permanently.

If you don't have an extension cord I can get that too. Because we're friends! Right?

I was going to be a scientist, but that seems silly now. Magical worlds exist. I've learned a huge truth about our place in the universe. I'm supposed to care about college? I mean, FUCK.

He's kind of an asshole, when you think about it

The tumbleweed then tried to roll off into the sunset, but due to the Old West's placement north of the subtropical ridge, the prevailing winds were in the wrong direction.

$1600 / 1386153BR 3BATH, MODERN SLIDING DOORS, GUEST ROOMS, GARBAGE DISPOSAL. FREE MANDATORY PARKING (ENFORCED). CONVENIENT TO ALDERAAN.

If it were a two or above I wouldn't be able to answer because it would mean a pause in the screaming.

In the LotR map, up and down correspond LOOSELY to northwest and southeast respectively.

She also starts every letter with "Dear Future ".

You can do this one in every 30 times and still have 97% positive feedback.

Hey, it says here that if you dream about your teeth falling out, it means they're spreading.

Man, I just wanted to know how babby was formed.

DUCKLOOP'D?

Correlation doesn't imply causation, but it does waggle its eyebrows suggestively and gesture furtively while mouthing 'look over there'.

But I've made $13.72 already today! Ow, stop throwing pennies.

I suppose that's more accurately a hare dryer.

YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

At least, with p

It's *almost* enough to make me want to redo high school.

Sweet unintersecting dreams!

My biology grad student friends tell me that different types of alcohol don't actually have different effects. I trust their expertise, not because of the 'biology' part, but because of the 'grad student'.

Except in reality crossing a stream of marshmallows would create a giant Bill Murray.

There are at least fourteen ways this could go badly (seventeen if that fork is a dangerous crossbreed.)

'And ovaries. Man, ovaries, huh?' [awkward pause] '... faithfully.'

That track ('Battle Without Honor or Humanity') -- like 'Ride of the Valkyries' -- improves *any* activity.

Of course, you don't wanna limit yourself to the strict forms of the meter. That could get pretty difficult.