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Liberation - Labyrinth of Self
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Childhood fragmentation
Religious trauma and shame
The military as both escape and entrapment
Cycles of betrayal, abandonment, and self-blame
Motherhood amid systemic failures
And ultimately, survival despite it all
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This post predates my diagnosis, but my system already knew. Written March 6, 2006, it advocates for the unseen battles people face—mental illness, trauma, dissociation—and questions why society withholds empathy from humans while offering it freely to animals. This entry embodies the voice of my Inner Protector, the part of me that sees injustice and calls it out with fire and heart. It's also one of the earliest clues of my system trying to break through the surface.
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"Written during a time of unrequited love—this piece captures the journey of the Inner Lover. Love not as possession, but as reverence. The ache is real, but the wisdom of the heart remains intact. This became a key to reclaiming my own worth beyond relationship status."
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A deeply introspective post marking a major shift in personal awareness and healing. Recognizes the roots of abandonment trauma, self-harm cycles, and savior-seeking behaviors. Acknowledges the anniversary of a past suicide attempt not with despair, but with growth. Represents the Inner Teen gaining consciousness and agency. Foundational for the Labyrinth of Self section in Liberation, especially regarding trauma recognition, attachment patterns, and self-worth.
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A turning point in 2006 where I began deconstructing Christianity after studying Hebrew roots and historical distortions introduced through Constantine and the Catholic Church. This post reflects the Inner Teen’s search for truth and reclaiming of spiritual identity. Essential foundation for later works on religious trauma and sacred reclamation.
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A reflective, vulnerable post documenting the body’s way of holding trauma and the realization of how anniversary grief can manifest in somatic symptoms. Connects to the May 6, 2005 overdose event and how the body recalls what the mind may not. A testament to survival and evolution.
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This piece explores the longing for something forbidden, echoing the archetypal story of Eve in the Garden of Eden, but from a deeply introspective, embodied lens. The hunger here is not only physical—it’s emotional, spiritual, and symbolic of unmet needs and the reckoning of consequences. This belongs in the Labyrinth of Self under Inner Seeker and Inner Child archetypes, because the ache is primal, and the pause is wisdom.
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This piece explores the longing for something forbidden, echoing the archetypal story of Eve in the Garden of Eden, but from a deeply introspective, embodied lens. The hunger here is not only physical—it’s emotional, spiritual, and symbolic of unmet needs and the reckoning of consequences. This belongs in the Labyrinth of Self under Inner Seeker and Inner Child archetypes, because the ache is primal, and the pause is wisdom.
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This reflection connects childhood to Eden—not as a physical paradise, but as a state of being that we are all trying to remember and reclaim. It affirms the cycle of generational trauma and our power to break it. The quote is a call to become the generation that chooses healing—not just for ourselves, but for our children, and their children after that.
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This reflection captures the existential ache of emotional starvation—an unmet need carried from childhood into adulthood. It's not a cry for help, but a quiet naming of the hunger that persists despite survival. A poetic reckoning with the difference between necessity and yearning.
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I kissed a girl and I liked it.
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This piece blends dream logic, trauma insight, and heroic mythos into a moment of self-activation. Drawing from Ash (Evil Dead) and Spider-Man, it becomes a metaphor for battling internal darkness—how depression can feel like possession, and how waking up to fight back is the ultimate reclamation. The inner hero is not someone else—it’s you, when you choose to rise.
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He studied his entire life to replace fear with consciousness, and if that doesn't speak volumes about life in general, I don't know what does.
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“In life, there are certain people who thrive on attacking others. When confronted with the truth, they lash out in denial instead of embracing it.” → This could be a perfect opener for a future essay on truth-telling as a sacred act of disruption.
“And so I sever the limbs of the zombies and bury them in the ground...” → A visceral metaphor for setting boundaries and cutting energetic cords.
“Next time I won’t be so quick to fall for their tricks. I’ll have an axe at the ready.” → That's the shift from wounded to wise—learning from the cycle, not just surviving it.
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This journal entry is a theological and mythic meditation on liberation. It frames trauma and fear as the chaotic sea, and healing as the crossing back onto land—into embodiment, sovereignty, and wholeness. Drawing from Hebrew scripture and apocalyptic imagery, it reframes redemption (ge'ullah) not only as freedom from bondage, but as a reclamation of self from distortion, fear, and the abyss. The kraken is symbolic of inner fragmentation, of lies fed by fear. The land is self—earth, groundedness, and truth. This is the crossing. The integration. The return. “Fear is the key. Once fear is mastered, the kraken and the sea hold no power over us.” You were never meant to drown. You were meant to rise.
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Spiritual grounding
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Acknowledging personal responsibility, anchoring a vow to heal.
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Allegory for Empowerment
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Union of the Inner Feminine and Inner Masculine
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"Paradise... is that place where we begin to communicate with ourselves."
"It is a marriage between spirit and flesh that is unending."
"In order to reach spring, we must first go through winter."
"Today you will be with me in Paradise."
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This was written before I knew we were many. Before I knew the voices weren’t just thoughts, they were parts. Before I understood that the pain was fragmented so that I could survive it.
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This was written before I knew we were many. Before I knew the voices weren’t just thoughts, they were parts. Before I understood that the pain was fragmented so that I could survive it.
notalonepdfbookpages.pdf
teennotalonebook2pages.pdf
innerteen3.pdf
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