There's a DFW quote that goes something like, sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, hurt, and my mind wanders to it whenever I think about what I went through this year. When I suffered from excruciating pain, I desperately wanted something to take it away: a friend, a therapist, a new city, at times even the very person who caused the pain in the first place. But there's nothing that will really make you feel better. Nobody can bear the pain for you; you just have to sit with it until it subsides. And it might take a long time, but it will get better eventually.

we both commiserated over how rare it is to find someone that really clicks, "vibes", or is "on the same wavelength" with us, however you put it. In my experience, it rarely has anything to do with shared interests (which is how people typically try to look for friends), and I can't judge whether I'll click with someone until I talk to them and spend time with them in person. I've tried for years to dissect the components of this compatibility, or what makes my conversations with some people light up where others sputter out, but it's incredibly difficult for me to distill any useful insights.